Not What He Seems
by Phantaz-magoria
Summary: When the queen of the O.Z. refuses to allow Glitch's brain transplant, DG goes to have a small talk with Ambrose to find out why.
1. Chapter 1

Not What He Seems  
by Phantaz-magoria

A/N: This is a part of a much larger fic that I have in my head, but may or may not write down. In any case, I hope you all will forgive me for playing fast and loose with certain plot elements. I thought it fit, but I am kinda silly sometimes. Enjoy!

Not What He Seems

---

"This good thing DG does for Glitch."

DG and Raw were standing alone in the brain room. She was wiping her sweaty palms on the front of her shirt.

"Yeah, doesn't mean it isn't weird, though."

The lion man smiled. "It be fine though. You see. DG ready?"

DG took a breath and nodded.

Raw put one hand on her shoulder and the other on the tank and DG felt the air rush out of her lungs.

----

No sooner had DG felt herself pulled into the alien consciousness then a voice floated out of the darkness toward her.

"Well, view halloo. Who's pretty girl are you?"

The words echoed eerily in the empty spanse of nothingness. It was said in a slightly sing-songish manner, in a slightly accented voice. DG struggled to orient herself, trying to filter through the emotions that accompanied the words reverberating in her head. Idle curiosity, interested amusement...

"View halloo?" she asked, stalling to get her bearings.

"Simply a hunting term. Generally taken to mean 'Fox sighted ahead, proceed with gusto.' Not that I would imply you as being a small, mostly helpless creature running for its life before a pack of hounds. Not in the least. But you do have a certain vulnerability to you. A certain keenness about the eyes. And certainly far lovelier than any that have come to visit me so far. Less demanding as well. Tell me, do you have a name, my Lady Fox?"

DG felt herself stammering, though how could she when she couldn't even see her own body in here? "Well... uh... um, yes. I'm DG. We haven't met..."

"DG, DG, DG... Why, if it isn't our own little Dorothygale. Of course we've met, your Highness. Long ago, to be sure. I must say that I honestly did not recognize you. You've grown some since the last time I dragged you out from under my workbench. That and I seem to have been under the slightly mistaken impression that you were dead. Strange, that... Although, I can't say that I'm surprised you don't recognize ME. My body's run off somewhere..."

The confusion faded away, realization inflected in her voice. "You're Ambrose."

The voice in her mind laughed sadly. "I wouldn't wish THAT horror on anybody..."

"You're not Ambrose?"

"No, I am. Ambrose is one of the names that refer to me, specifically, yes. But the way you said it... Ambrose means 'Immortal.' Did you know?"

"No, I didn't."

"It's fitting, perhaps. Most brains have the great good sense of dying shortly after being ripped from their bodies, but here I am... how many annuals later? Ten? I guess you could say that I'm stubborn..."

"Actually, that's what I came to talk to you about."

"My foolishly stubborn tendencies?"

"No, your body! It's here in the palace... well, HE'S here in the palace. His name is Glitch. He's my friend."

"Interesting."

"Interesting? Is that all you can say?"

"Would you prefer 'fascinating?'"

"No. I just thought you would have more to say, is all."

"Imagine, if you will, that a person who's been dead for some twenty or so annuals has just walked up to you and told you that your body has apparently been walking around of it's own accord, developing a personality completely separate from yours, and that they're friends. I mean, we could make it just a touch weirder by pretending that you're nothing but a brain floating in a jar, but that just might be overdoing it a little, don't you think? Brilliant I may be, your Highness, but some things still need processing."

The sarcasm in the voice took her by surprise.

"Well, when you put it that way..."

"So. Tell me about him."

"What?"

"You came here to talk to me about him, didn't you?"

"Well, yes. Yes I did, actually. I don't recall what I was going to say exactly. I had it all rehearsed, too."

"I seem to do that to people."

"Really?"

"Yes, I think it's a nerves thing. I understand that people believe me to be scary."

"I don't think you're scary."

"You wouldn't, would you? After all, what's a brain in a jar going to do to you? Talk you to death? Hardly."

She could almost hear his eyes roll.

"You're beginning to sound like you feel sorry for yourself."

"Am I? I apologize. You caught me in a somewhat fatalistic mood. News that somebody else has been enjoying my body without me hasn't made it better."

"Oh, come on. It can't be that bad, can it?"

"You try going ten annuals without doing anything that you used to enjoy; sleeping, eating your favorite foods, drinking hot, hot coffee or an ice cold lemonade... smoking a cigarette with a glass of fine brandy... sex... hmm. I wonder if he's been having sex while I've been gone. That would just be a little weird. Not that life without a body can get much weirder. But, it is an interesting question, isn't it? Which side of the brain is responsible for sexual desires, do you know? I've never actually thought about it. Is it a logical desire or an artistic one, do you think, or a combination of both? Logically, scientifically, I can say that it's a biological imperative that's reinforced by dopamine receptors and that our bodies are designed to enjoy it so much that it consumes almost eighty percent of a man's daily thought processes. At least I think it was eighty. It's been a while, I might not have the exact statistic. But no matter. When you think about it, though, desire itself, or arousal, if you prefer, is triggered usually by something visual... a sight, a sound... a smell. Could it be a question of aesthetics? The artistic line of woman's neck, the curve of a man's back..."

DG could swear that if she had a shape or a form in this abysmal darkness she would be blushing.

Then the voice really took her by surprise, "What gender does he even prefer, do you know?"

"No. No, that has never actually come up, thank God."

"I've always rather preferred the lesser fair of the species, myself."

It must have been the offhand way he said it, but DG couldn't resist giggling.

The voice sounded affronted now, "What?! I'm not saying that I would turn down an attractive woman if she offered herself to me, but offers like that come very few and far between for men like me and you learn to take what you can get. Concubines and prostitutes not withstanding. As loathsome as they are, at least whores don't... don't... GIGGLE at you when you're trying to present yourself."

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad, really. You seem like such a smart guy, I can't imagine anyone not jumping at the chance to... well... jump you."

Disdainful irony practically dripped from the voice, "Yes. Fighting off women with a stick has been the bane of my existence. Look, you may not have noticed this, but there is hardly a queue of women lined up behind you to sign my dance card. In fact, you're the only one in ten annuals to so much as speak to me, aside from that insane, psychotic, witch, bitch sorceress. And that Glitch person you spoke of..."

"Glitch came to see you?"

"Briefly. It wasn't so much of a conversation; he was here begging me to shut down the machine. I didn't realize that he was me at the time, but the jumbled thoughts that he showed me led me to believe that shutting it down might be a good idea."

"Wait, you're saying you had control of it?"

"Marginally."

"Then if you could control it, why were you letting the witch use your sun seeder in the first place?"

"I gave her what she thought she wanted, nothing more... but then I can be a lot more stubborn than she gave me credit for. It wasn't a sun seeder. She thought it was though, and that's all that mattered."

There was smug satisfaction there now, even as DG wrestled with confusion.

"But, if it wasn't a sun seeder...?"

"I call it an EPPDWSSD. An Ectoplasmic-polymorphic-para-dimensional-witch-soul-supplanting-device."

"Oh... That sounds neat... I guess."

"I designed it to kill the witch in case things didn't work out."

"Why didn't you just kill her to begin with."

"It would have destroyed Azkadellia. In a very violent and painful fashion. I promised your mother I wouldn't. But sometimes worse comes to worst... It was really sort of a last case scenario thing..."

"I don't understand."

"I could have killed the witch at any time. I could have destroyed her utterly the moment she showed her ugly face. And by the Gods I wanted to very much after your... death. But I would have had to murder your sister to do it. A killer I am, and a murderer I may be, but I swore an oath to the Queen long, long ago that I would protect you and your sister against anything that meant you harm. Including myself. I had already failed one of you... had to at least try for the other."

"Oh."

"Don't misunderstand, the thought of having to break that vow was a miserable thing indeed, but I wouldn't have lived very long with the regret. The machine would have destroyed every last living soul in a two mile radius. I'm very glad you were able to turn it off, but I've always liked the idea of going out in a huge fiery explosion. One hell of a swan song, don't you think?"

"I guess I'm just confused. Why the elaborate plan, if you were just going to kill her anyways?"

"I told you, it was a last case scenario idea. The original plan, the Mystic Man's plan, was to wait for you to show up and deal with it. Mine came into play only if waiting didn't work so well."

"You knew the Mystic Man?"

"Yes. He was an adviser to the Queen even before I was. He was my mentor in fact. He could see things in ways that even I couldn't. I still went to him for advice sometimes. And to play chess. Old bastard always beat me at chess. Never could understand why; nobody else ever beats me at chess. I am the master of chess. I am the greatest chess player to ever set foot in the O.Z. It wasn't until that last time we spoke that I found out the old nutter was psychic. I can't even begin to tell you how THAT went over. I was a little incensed to say the least."

"He was psychic? Is that why they called him the Mystic Man?"

"Well, no. Being psychic helped a great deal but it was more because he had this marvelous talent for being ridiculously cryptic."

"Yes, I noticed that."

The voice was silent for a second. When it spoke again, it was somewhat hesitant. "...um... I couldn't help but observe your use of the past tense... was that... accidental, by any chance?"

"No. The witch killed him while I was imprisoned here."

"Oh..."

The emptiness seemed to stretch, and though there was absolutely nothing in the blackness here, DG could definitely feel a sense of warmth pull away from her. She could feel the familiar guilt creep into her voice, "He died because he was helping me. I'm sorry, Ambrose."

The silence seemed deafening.

"Ambrose?"

"Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yes. Just thinking. He was a good man."

"Yes, he was. I mean, I didn't know him... but I could tell. I really am sorry."

"I don't blame you, your Highness. Truly. He knew what he was doing. He always was a crafty devil. The last time... The last time we spoke he told me to stall the witch as long as I could. That I had to do whatever I could to buy time 'for hope to grow.' Hope would save the O.Z. Hope would save Azkadellia and destroy the witch. All I needed to do was distract her long enough... I didn't know it at the time, but he was talking about you. It was after that conversation that I came up with the 'sun seeder.' A trap and a distraction all wrapped up into one giant machine, impossible to build, impossible to test. She fell for it completely. Hook, line, and sinker. I had thought that if hope hadn't come to stop her by the time she finished building the damned thing, chances of it coming at all were beyond astronomical. And then it would be time to just get it over and done with... Quite a brilliant plan, actually."

The voice seemed to smile.

DG was frowning. "Not to point out any flaws in your brilliant plan... but if you intended for her to get the sun seeder all along, why did you destroy the blueprints? That's why she took your brain out, because you wouldn't give her the blueprints..."

"She wouldn't have fallen for it if she'd gotten them that easy. It wouldn't have been a very good trap if she didn't fall for it."

"Are you saying that you KNEW she was going to take your brain?"

Silence.

"Ambrose?"

Even more silence.

"Ambrose, answer me!"

The voice was quiet. Somewhat petulant. "It wasn't the greatest sacrifice ever made for science."

"It's funny. Glitch said that too. Except he thought that he was protecting the people he loved when he made it, not tricking people into thinking that he was being noble."

"I wasn't trying to be noble. I wasn't even sacrificing that much. I had already failed the people I loved, lost the most precious things in the world to me. What more was a little brain tissue going to do?"

"Do you know how much Glitch has suffered because of you and losing that little bit of brain tissue?"

"Everyone has suffered because of me. What makes HIM any different?"

"Because he's YOU! If you don't care about yourself, who DO you care about?"

"Please don't misunderstand me, Princess. I do care for people. But I have an admittedly hard time putting my own desires before my duty."

"Yeah, I get that, Mr. Stoic Savior of the Realm. What I want to know is 'Who. Do. You. Care. About.' Because right now, Glitch seems like a better person with out you. So who is it?"

The voice huffed an irritable sigh.

"Before I answer that, how about you answer a question for me? Which do you think is nobler? The man who stays by his Queen's side to the end in spite of what he thinks MIGHT possibly happen to him? Or the man who grimly carries out a plan that PROBABLY won't work to save people that will PROBABLY be dead by the time it does work, knowing full well that awful and irreparable things WILL happen to him? And just to be scientific, let's get a good working definition of the term 'Awful'. Torture, defilement, degradation, debasement, humiliation, perversion... did I mention torture? And how about rape? And knowing that no matter how many of your bones were broken, how much blood you lost, or how VILE and disgusting the things they did to you, you couldn't talk, couldn't make it stop because for the plan to work, for it all to be worth it, you have to be strong and patient and wait for them to murder you and cut out your brain. Don't talk to me about nobility, your Highness. If your Mr. Cain had known that his actions would have lead to the death of his wife, would he have dared be so NOBLE?"

DG was taken aback. "How do you know about Cain?"

"Because you're thinking about him. You care about him. You want to know who I care about? You. The Queen. Azkadee. Two or three lovers I've had and lost over the years. My wife. She died giving birth to my son. He's dead too. My boyfriend, Daniel. He was killed. My sister. She's dead. My mother and father. They're dead as well. My horses, my dogs, the cat you gave me for Winter Solstice when you were five annuals old. I haven't seen any of them recently, but I would imagine they're dead too. Oh, and did I mention that you died? Yeah, that was a while ago."

The silence stretched on forever, DG wasn't sure what to say. It seemed best to let him talk now that she'd stumbled on such an obviously sore point.

After some moments, the voice sighed, very sad it seemed. "Listen, doll. I'm sorry that what I did to save Azkadellia and the kingdom hurt your friend... I truly am." The voice was sounding thoughtful again. "But, look on the bright side. To all rights, he should be dead and he's not. Most people who get their brains removed with an ice cream scoop don't live longer than six lunar cycles... an annual at most. He's gone far and above what any normal headcase could have done. Poor fool's obviously just as stubborn as I am. But surviving as long as he did... Maybe it's BECAUSE he doesn't have my memory, doesn't remember all the horrible things that have happened. Maybe he thinks he has more to live for than I do."

"Is that why my mother doesn't think that Glitch's surgery will work? Because you want to die?"

"I don't want to die. But I have spent a long time getting used to the idea. I think she might object to it because he's happy. Being happy as this world goes is to be one man picked out of ten thousand. It's a rare gift, he shouldn't give it up. Happy isn't a word that people use to describe me. After all, what a blessing it is to be able to forget... Not something that comes easily to me."

"So that's it then? She says no and you just go with it?"

"I think he might be better off."

"I think you should talk to him more."

"Do you? Why?"

"Because he has wanted his brain back for so long... even if you are kind of an asshole... and I am not giving up on his dream yet. And in order for that surgery to happen, I have to convince my mother. And for that to happen, I think I need to convince you first. So, I think you should talk to him."

"I'm not sure how much good you expect it to do. I've seen his mind. I see the world in black and white, straight lines and right angles. Your Glitch obviously has some sort of strange rainbow scheme going on with some weird, creepy tangential quadrilaterals thrown in."

"You could at least get to understand his point of view, and maybe he can see yours and we'll all decide from there. Sound like a plan?"

"Be honest, your Highness, how much of a say in this matter do you think a floating lump of gray tissue can have? I mean, really. I can have opinions as the day is long, but I can't actually do anything about them, now can I?"

DG smiled. "Oh, good. I was hoping you weren't going to be difficult! See you tomorrow then?"

"I await your return with baited breath, your Highness."

----

DG felt the rush of the world coming back to her and gasped for breath as her eyes opened. She was still in the brain room. Raw had a hand on her shoulder, a concerned look on his face.

"DG have nice talk?"

She ran a hand down the front of her shirt, reorienting herself to the world.

"Yeah. First of many it seems like."

In the back of her mind, she couldn't help but wonder what she was getting herself into...


	2. Chapter 2

Not What He Seems part 2  
by Phantaz-magoria

A/N: Okay =) I had a really wonderful review for this one, so more popped into my head.

-----

This time there was no blackness. It was a blinding white stretch of empty space, like being in a giant warehouse. It wasn't much of an improvement, but at least DG could see her own body this time. She looked around.

"Ambrose?" Her voice echoed across nothingness. She couldn't decide which seemed emptier, the never ending whiteness or the all encompassing black shroud that she had experienced on her last visit.

"Ambrose?"

"I'm here." The voice came from behind her and she turned quickly. A man stood there, vaguely resembling Glitch in many ways, but so vastly dissimilar it was hard to compare them. His appearance was almost startling; he looked so much different here than he had in Raw's vision, or even the painting in the great hall of the northern palace.

His hair was black and neatly combed back from his face. There was a fire behind his razor sharp eyes that she had never seen before, lighting them up like hot cinnamon. It was strange to see this man with Glitch's face and yet eyes so very different from his warm chocolate ones. He wore a loose, white labcoat over what had to be something out of the Victorian era: a gray tweed vest, dark trousers, and a black silk cravat tied close around the high collar of his pristine white shirt.

DG caught her breath at his sudden and striking appearance. Aside from the black grease stains on his lab coat, he could almost pass himself off as a doctor. Or at the very least, as Mr. Hyde...

"Ambrose? Is that really you?"

"Who else would it be?" The man turned slightly to look behind him, as if to check to make certain she was actually speaking to him, then returned his attention to her with a puzzled frown just showing at the corner of his lips. "Why? Is there something wrong?"

DG realized she must have been staring. "No, no. Nothing's wrong. You just surprised me is all. I guess in my head I had you dressed up like Prince Charming or at least sporting some sort of gold tassels or something."

Ambrose smiled very slightly, as if sharing a private joke with himself. "Only when I can't avoid it. Royal wardrobes are a bitch to keep clean."

DG put a hand to her mouth to keep from snorting with laughter. "Now that you mention it, I can see how funny it would look if you showed up to a ball covered in oil and grease."

His lips pulled up briefly in a quick smile. "I did, actually, quite frequently. It never went over very well with your mother."

"Wow. She must have been pissed."

"She hid it well. I would hope, though, your highness, that you didn't come here to discuss my dry cleaning."

DG cleared her throat. "No. Not at all. I heard you spoke with Glitch yesterday."

"That's one word for it."

"Well? How did it go?"

"He's interesting."

DG grinned. "Yeah, that's one word for it," she said, throwing his own words back at him. "So? Details?"

Ambrose shrugged and slipped his hands into the pockets of his labcoat. "I don't think he and I would mesh very well at all."

The princess cocked her head to the side. "Why do you say that?"

"Just the impression I got. He thinks I'm boring. I think he's stupid. We get along like lemon juice and a paper cut."

DG sighed and put her hands on her hips. "It can't have been all that bad. I mean he got you to..." she waved a hand around the sterile white surroundings. "Well, brighten the place up a bit." She pointed at him. "And you. At least I can see you, now, when I'm talking to you. That's an improvement."

Ambrose gestured indifferently before folding his arms in front of his chest. "Like I said, he thinks I'm boring."

"Well, we could fix that. You could make this place a little more comfortable, couldn't you? Like put in some walls or chairs or something?"

A dark eyebrow arched at her and the keen brown eyes narrowed. "You think I'm boring too? I suppose that's reasonable."

"No. Ambrose, I don't think you're boring at all, but the white is hurting my eyes a bit."

"Fine."

The white floors dissolved into a mist of swirling colors that shifted and blurred around her. DG felt herself beginning to get slightly motion sick before the mist shivered into a solid mass around her.

"Woah... that was weird."

DG looked around again. They were in a used bookstore. At least, that's what it reminded her of. Librarys weren't this claustrophobic. The walls were stacked floor to ceiling with old books. There were shelves everywhere that would fit, aisles and aisles of shelves full of books. Light streamed in from the high windows, illuminating the dust floating on the air. The smell of old paper and ink, book bindings and burning candles filled her lungs. She turned around.

Ambrose sat in the only open space in the area in a blue brocaded Victorian style armchair, leaning back in the cushions, elbows resting on the chair arms, fingers steepled in front of him as he regarded her. Before him was an empty chair of similar design, and a low wooden table.

DG felt uncomfortable under that steady, calculating gaze. She tugged at the hem of her shirt, readjusting it, before meeting his eyes squarely. If this was a staring contest, she wasn't about to back down.

After some moments, Ambrose smiled that brief, quirk of the lips smile of his and gestured at the table, willing color and energy into existence. "Tea, your Highness?"

When the mist stopped swirling above the table, there were porcelain teacups and saucers, a matching pot, and a tray full of elegant looking finger foods.

DG blinked in amazement. You had to give him one thing, he certainly had style. "Why, thank you, Ambrose. I'd be delighted." She hoped her voice held some of the same disdainful sarcasm that the man in front of her seemed to so easily dish out to her.

While she moved to sit down, Ambrose carefully poured tea into her cup, his long fingers deftly handling the delicate porcelain. His eyes followed her as she moved and he smiled while he asked, "Cream and sugar?"

"Certainly." She wondered why this felt like a strange sort of game and pondered idly what he was playing at.

He handed her the tea cup and saucer before attending to his own. "I hope you find this... comfortable enough."

DG sipped her tea, enjoying the sweet and spicy warmth of ginseng and chai. "It certainly is cozy," she said, looking around. "Is this a real place?"

"It used to be."

"Used to be?"

"It burned to the ground. Long time ago." He took a sip of his own tea and smiled wistfully. "I'm sorry for the lack of selection, but this is the only tea I have a memory of drinking."

"I thought you said last time you couldn't do any of your favorite things, like drink tea and coffee."

That smirk flashed across Ambrose's face for just a moment and his eyebrows arched higher. "Yes, well. Your friend Glitch has a much better imagination than I seem to have been left with these days. He might have rubbed off on me a bit."

"See!" DG set her teacup down and grinned at Ambrose. "You DO get along!"

"Sure. Just like sodium nitrate and sulfur." Ambrose looked up, frowning. "Wait... Forget it. That's a bad metaphor."

"Oh. Good. Cause I didn't understand it at all."

"Sulfur and sodium nitrate are two of the key ingredients in gunpowder. They make things explode. Trouble is, I really LIKE making things explode. Like I said, bad metaphor." Ambrose frowned again and gulped his tea.

"Wow. Not something I would have guessed about you."

"I think most people who get into the crazy, psycho inventor gig do it solely for the limitless opportunities to create controlled pyrotechnic percussive combustions."

"You couldn't just say 'fiery explosion,' could you?"

"Not with as much relish, no."

DG picked up one of the sandwiches and took a bite. Her eyebrows wrinkled together in a frown. "This tastes horrible."

"Does it?"

"Well, no. Not horrible, I guess. It doesn't taste like anything at all."

"Yes, well. What do you expect from someone who forgets to eat on a regular basis?"

"You seemed to manage the tea alright."

"Tea is the nectar of the world. Coffee is a gift from the Gods. I could probably even conjure up a a really excellent glass of smooth, fifty annual scotch. But Glitch has most of my taste receptors, I'm operating solely on some heavily ingrained memories. If I had made a habit of eating tea sandwiches every day for an annual or two, I might remember what they taste like."

"Ah. Gotcha."

"Oh!" Ambrose set his empty tea cup down and looked up at her with a far more easy smile that reminded her just a touch of Glitch. "Do try the peach tarts, though. I think they might be a little more up to snuff."

"Alright, I think I will." DG picked up one of the tiny pastries and took a bite. She closed her eyes in bliss and chewed slowly. "Oh, that IS good."

Ambrose picked up his own tart and chewed it thoughtfully. "I still think that Glitch is better off as he is."

DG sucked the crumbs off her thumb. "Mmm. Well. I think that if I can have an open mind about YOU, you should have an open mind about him."

"An open mind about me? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that my mom thinks you're too dangerous to have around and I think she might be right."

"She is right."

"Stop agreeing with me. It makes it hard to argue."

Ambrose laughed outright then. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a gold cigarette case. "As your Highness commands. Care for one?"

"No thanks. Smoking's bad for you."

He raised an eyebrow, holding the cigarette in his teeth, then smiled and murmured around it as he struck a match and lit the end of it. "Yes, well. Other things kill you faster. Like brain surgery."

He waved the match until the flame was gone and all that was left was an artistic trail of smoke that lingered in a shaft of sunlight.

"You really think it will go that bad?"

"I'm not sure what you expect to achieve from it." Ambrose took a long, slow pull off the cigarette and held it loosely in two fingers as he leisurely exhaled the smoke.

DG shrugged. "A happy ending, I guess. Best possible outcome for all involved."

Ambrose leaned back and gazed up at the ceiling, folding his hands in his lap in such a way that he didn't burn himself. "It's hard to tell what that is sometimes, your Highness. I can tell you some of the possible outcomes I can think of. I'm not sure I could tell you which one is the best, though."

DG sat up straighter. "Ok. Shoot."

"One, you recombine us both and my personality takes over completely. You lose Glitch entirely. Probably not your best case scenario. Two, our personalities blend somewhat equally. You still see Glitch once in a while in some of the things that I do and you miss your friend the rest of the time. Very sad, but not unlikely. Three, we don't blend at all well and either never recover from a post operative state of catatonia, or we have a completely split personality and drive each other even more insane than I already am. Four, Glitch takes over completely, except now he can remember you all in the morning when he wakes up. Life is beautiful. Five. Operation unsuccessful, I die, Glitch remains Glitch. Life is beautiful, if somewhat unchanged. Six. Operation unsuccessful, we both die." Ambrose looked at her with a slight grimace of a smile. "That one kinda sucks." He took another pull off the cigarette. "Seven. Do nothing. Glitch lives a long and blissfully ignorant life. I fade into the annals of history, nothing but a sad memory to those who knew me. Status quo maintained. Nobody's happy, but nobody's miserable either."

DG leaned forward and rested her chin in her palms. "You're not a very helpful advisor."

Ambrose flicked ash into a small glass tray on the table. "Beg to differ, your Highness. I am an EXCELLENT advisor. If you knew what you wanted, you would be able to ask for the outcome you desire and I could then give you a statistical breakdown of the likelihood of success, maybe even find ways to stack the odds a little bit in your favor. But since all that you want is to, and I quote, 'Give Glitch his brain back,' you can hardly blame me for the less than precise data I am able to dispense. Give me more input and I will give you more data. Until then, you'll have to be satisfied with the Magic 8 Ball answer."

"More input? What kind of 'more input' do you need? I want Glitch to be happy and he won't be happy until he gets his brain back. What else is there?"

Ambrose rolled his eyes and stabbed the last of the cigarette into the ash tray. "You know what? Never mind. I'm sure I can work out SOMETHING for you." He rose quickly and strode away towards the nearest bookcase, labcoat billowing behind him as he disappeared around a corner.

DG growled in frustration and curled her fists. Why was he always so DIFFICULT?! "AMBROSE! Come back here right now!" She stood to go after him. "Ambrose!"

She looked for him down the aisle way. Nothing. She peered down another. Still nothing but endless, endless rows of books.

"Ambrose?" Down this row and that there was still nothing, but down the last aisle was a spiral staircase leading up to another floor that she hadn't known existed. She sighed and strode forward, trudging up the wrought iron stairs. She could see him as soon as her head cleared the floor. He sat at a large wooden desk facing towards a beautiful stained glass window. His back was to her and he seemed to be writing something. There were still more books up here, but they lined the walls only, unlike below where the shelves had made aisle ways and corners every inch of available space. The books were much different, too. They were all much newer and all shared the same red bindings and gold lettering. They seemed to be arranged like encyclopedias. DG looked closer. Or almanacs. It wasn't until she read the bindings that she realized that they were all labeled with a month and a year and were all arranged in order. They must have been journals of some sort... memories...

"Ambrose?"

The writing paused and the head tilted slightly, but he didn't look behind him.

DG bit her lip and stepped forward. "Look, we seem to be miscommunicating somehow. I don't know what I said to offend you. One moment you don't want to be around, it seems, and the next you're upset that I think we should do what's best for Glitch. You don't seem all that concerned about what happens to you, so why shouldn't I care more about what happens to Glitch? I just don't understand what you want from me..."

Ambrose was quite. His pen returned to writing and he remained quiet.

"Ambrose..."

"Your Highness, this surgery isn't some cardboard puzzle kit that you can fit together, or a connect the dots, or a paint by numbers... it's going to be very tricky to get the result that you want and I have a great deal of equations to work out to see that it goes according to plan."

"And... what is the plan? You ran off before we finished talking about it."

"Option four." The pen continued to scratch away.

"Oh. Right. Like I was really paying that close attention to your bleak and dismal predictions of the future."

The pen slammed down. He turned towards her. The cinnamon colored eyes had dulled to a burnt coffee color.

"You want Glitch to be exactly the way he is now. But you want him to be smart, too. I'm trying to make that happen for you."

He picked up the pen again.

"What makes you think that's what I want?"

"Because, my dear, the thought of gazing up at your lover and seeing ME there instead of him appalls you."

DG's eyes blazed. "How dare you?!"

"Quite easily, I'm afraid."

She crossed the space to him in two quick strides, her hand whipping out to smack him across the face, but he caught her wrist and twisted and in the breath of a moment, she found herself pressed face down against the desk, both arms locked between her back and his chest. A shiver ran through her body as his hot breath whispered into her ear, "Charming form and a lovely follow through, but a surprise attack only works if your opponent doesn't know you're coming..."

His lips brushed her cheek in a soft kiss and she could feel his fingers card through her hair. His breath was a soft sigh against her neck. "I wish I knew what your hair smelled like..." His voice was wistful, longing. She could feel his leg pressed against hers.

"Now, your Highness. If I let you up, are you going to attack me again?"

She cursed her voice for shaking. "N-no. No, I w-won't."

"Good." The weight pressed against her back eased and she straightened up, but before he could draw away entirely, she lifted her foot and brought all of her weight stamping down hard on the inside of his shin. Then she swung her elbow back hard into his gut, just like her dad had taught her all those years ago on the farm. She turned and swung a punch at his face, trying to break his nose, but he caught her arm just like last time. She found herself flipped over through the air and on her back on the floor. The breath in her lungs was forced out by the impact and she gasped for air, seeing stars. Before she could move, he was straddling her midsection, pinning her hips down with his legs and holding her arms to the floor crossed above her head.

The fire in his eyes was back again and he wore the most genuine smile she had seen on him, yet. "Much better. Your aim was a little off on that last one though. A better move there would have been to shove the heel of your hand up towards the nose. When you try to punch, it takes a second or two longer to get your weight behind you and it pulls your balance off. Also your attacker can see it coming and dodge left or right, like I did." He held her wrists with one hand and demonstrated with the other. "But if you shove up with your hand, like this, the motion starts below their line of sight. They can't see it coming. And when you break their nose, you can shove the splinters of bone up into their brain. And then they really can't grab at you again. On the whole, you did much, much better. You definitely caught me by surprise that time."

DG's ribs seemed to quiver as she breathed in, catching the faint scents of him that she hadn't noticed before: cologne and smoke, engine grease and old books. She struggled to keep her voice dry and sarcastic. "Well. I'm glad you approve. That reminds me, Cain wanted me to ask you where Glitch learned to fight like he does."

Ambrose turned his face away and chuckled, then looked at her thoughtfully, still grinning. "That's easy. Glitch has the use of a fantastic mechanism called muscle memory. Now, Ambrose, darling that he was, spent ten annuals of his life getting trounced and thrown on his arse by the Lady Knight Madame Josepha, his training master. After about the thousandth time of that poor muscle being bruised beyond recognition, it began to get a sense of self preservation and it would scream horribly at his arms and legs to save it from the evil dragon lady and they would flail around in a valiant effort to do so. Eventually the flailing got to be a little more fluid and a little less frantic and it got to the point where they could do it even without his arse crying for mercy until it all just became a nice easy habit for everything concerned. THAT is how Glitch learned to fight so well."

"I'll be sure to relay the story. Would you get off my stomach now, please?"

Ambrose seemed to think about it and shook his head. "I'm comfortable here."

DG bucked her hips, trying to throw him off, her arms struggled to pull free from his grip. Ambrose's smile turned into somewhat of a grimace and he hissed at her through gritted his teeth as he used a little more force to keep her down. "Now, Princess, I know it doesn't look it, but I'm just a little heavier than you are."

DG almost howled in frustration and struggled harder. "I am not that fat!"

Ambrose had his weight situated again and he considered her thoughtfully as she struggled and writhed underneath him. With a soft laugh, he ducked his head to press his lips to hers. Her shrieks of rage softened to a moan when she realized that he tasted like chai and cream. Her eyes flew open. No. No! She was not supposed to like this! No! No! No!

His eyes met hers, as hot as liquid fire and he smiled against her lips before he pulled away from her. His strong arms pulled her to her feet and steadied her as she blinked at him, dumbfounded from switching emotions and positions so quickly.

"I..." she started. She tried again. "I really hate you. I think. Yeah, I think I really do hate you."

He chuckled softly and stepped away from her, slipping his hands into his pockets. She paced up one way and down the other, anger boiling inside her. When he faced her again, he wore a serious expression that he must have struggled some to conjure. He watched her pace with a straight face.

"Oh! And just for your information, I am NOT sleeping with him!"

"Not yet. But you think about it."

"Do not!"

"Liar."

Up again and down again, DG continued her mad pacing.

"And you are NOT allowed to kiss me like that again!"

"You have my word."

"Good!"

"I shall not kiss you like that again, unless you require me to do so."

"Fat chance!"

"If you say so."

"AND YOU!? Whatever happened to that 'I prefer MEN' crap you were spouting last week?"

"A preference is a preference, but a man learns to take what he can get."

"Oh?! So I'm... I'm what? Just a substitution for you to get your rocks off while you wait for better prospects? Great! Just what I needed!"

Ambrose's smile spread slowly across his face. "Princess, you're thinking something again."

DG's face went white with horror. "You... no! You get out of my head this instant!"

Ambrose laughed as DG grabbed a book off the desk and chucked it at him. He ducked it easily.

"Your Highness, I'll implore you to consider again precisely who is in whom's head."

"You know what? Fine! I'll go! See how you like THEM apples!"

She turned and tried to storm out. Then stopped. And turned again.

"Raw!"

Ambrose chuckled again and took a step forward.

"Raw, let me out of here!"

"Your Highness, when you come next time, I will have something for you to give to the alchemists. For your friend. I promise."

DG looked at him. She opened her mouth to say something then closed it. She looked up. "Raw?"

Ambrose was standing next to her again.

"DG, don't you know how Sleeping Beauty wakens from the dream...?"

She looked up at him, holding her breath as he leaned down and gently took her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers in a sweet and gentle kiss. She closed her eyes and opened herself to him. He kissed her deeply as the world spun around her...

----

...and she stood staring at a glass jar with a brain floating in it.

"...Damn."

Raw was beside her. "DG okay?"

"Yeah." She turned to look at him and slapped his shoulder. "And where were you!? Didn't you here me calling for you in there?"

Raw looked down at the floor, his shoulders rolling up into a shrug.

"DG seemed to be enjoying self."

Her mouth gaped open, then snapped shut. "You and I are going to have some SERIOUS words, Mister!"

She turned to storm out, but stopped short at the door. Her breath caught in her chest for a moment at the memory of cinnamon and smoke and chai flavored kisses and hot words whispered against her cheek.

_Until next time, your Highness_.


	3. Chapter 3

Not What He Seems part 3  
by Phantaz-magoria

A/N: I love reviews!! You guys are so awesome! I had this finished before I went to work, but per normal, my brain is on crack when I get home at nine in the morning and it goes to strange places. But the comment about DG/Glitch/Ambrose just sucker punched me in the face and wouldn't go away, so anything that might pertain to that actually slipped in here as an afterthought. Let me know how you guys like it? *hopeful*

__________________

The library was already there when DG opened her eyes this time. She sighed in relief. Any more of the white walls would have driven her crazy.

"Ambrose?"

She looked around. There really were a lot of books in here. She wondered if he had read them all.

"Ambrose?"

She poked her head down one aisle. "Are you in here?"

Silly question. Of course he was in here. Somewhere. He had to be, right? Having no luck downstairs, she moved to the top floor.

"Come on, Ambrose, where are you?"

The crumpled papers that littered the floor were lit up in a vast array of colors by the light streaming through the stained glass window. Still no Ambrose, but the balled up pages hadn't been here before. DG leaned down to pick up a paper and carefully unfolded it. It was an ink drawing of a human brain. Parts of it were labeled in neat handwriting and the margins of the page were littered with strange equations. DG picked up another page. This one was all numbers and formulas. It looked a little like something from an advanced calculus course that she had once taken and quickly dropped out of.

DG walked to the desk where more drawings and sketches were scattered, each depicting different angles and cross sections in various detail of a brain. Well, she thought, at least he had kept himself busy. She looked up at the glass window. She hadn't really looked at it the last time she was here. She did now, though. It was actually quite beautiful. It was an intricate depiction of a gypsy girl in a red and black dress dancing on blue waves beneath two moons. Her skin was white, her hair was black, and behind her was a silver island and a black palace.

She set the papers on the desk, her attention caught by one of the red bound journals laying open on the desk. An ink pen lay across the page and the neat handwriting that DG had come to recognize as Ambrose s had only written a short few lines at the top.

_Glitch has come to visit again today. If I work at it, I think I can learn to like him. It is difficult not to be jealous._

Huh.

DG left the desk and went back downstairs.

"Ambrose?"

He had never left her waiting this long before and she was quickly becoming worried. What if something had gone wrong and she hadn't heard? What if something had happened to Ambrose? Or to Glitch?

"Ambrose!"

A muffled noise behind a shelf startled her and she turned towards it. She hurried to the end of the aisle and turned the corner, following the sound. There was a door in the wall that she hadn't seen before. The noise was coming from behind it. She grabbed the handle and pulled it open and was well and truly startled by the sight that met her.

It was an outdoor scene, but it looked as if a crazy artist had completely went to town on it. The sky was orange, the grass was blue and dotted with green and brown flowers and the river that flowed through the country side was a bright vibrant purple. She could see red pine trees across the river floating with the tips of their roots a good foot or two off the ground. Strangest of all was flock of yellow sparrows flying upside down. It was all very disconcerting.

In fact, the only thing that looked even remotely normal here (and that was a stretch) was Ambrose himself. He stood on a small island in the middle of the river, his dark waistcoat unbuttoned and his white shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, wearing a somewhat frantic expression.

The sincere relief on his face was almost comical. "DG! Sweet Glinda! Thank goodness you're here!"

"Hi, Ambrose." DG looked around, trying hard not to smile at the poor man's obvious distress. "What are you doing out here?"

"That psychotic little nut ball LEFT me out here!" It wasn't too hard to guess that he was talking about Glitch.

"And why would he do that?" DG crossed her arms in front of her, giving him a 'look' that she hoped would curl him to his toes.

He put a hand to his forehead, anxiety rolling off of him in waves. "We argued. It really isn't important. Look, could you just... could you please get me out of here?"

"Why? Can't you get yourself out of here? I mean, this is all in your mind, isn't it?"

"No, no, no, no. This is not MY mind, this is HIS mind! Why? Because THIS IS NOT NORMAL!"

"I don't know. I think it's actually sort of pretty." In a very Glitch-y kinda way, she didn't add.

He threw his hands up in the air and cried, "It's HORRIBLE! And I've been here for hours, or or or or DAYS! I don't even know, I've been stuck here and I can't leave and I really need you to just please help me, okay? Please?"

Laughter bubbled up in her chest and she fought to keep it in. "Why can't you just swim over here?"

Ambrose practically wailed, "Because it looks like toxic sludge! And... and..! Agh! Couldn't you just think of a bridge or something for me? Please?" He held his hands out toward her, entreating her.

He was acting so much like Glitch just now and he didn't even seem to realize he was doing it. "It seems to me that a man as smart as you could just think of your own bridge."

"But, but I can't! Don't you see? I don't have that part of my brain anymore and there hasn't ever been a bridge here so I can't remember it being here and if I can't remember it here, it won't BE here! Does that even make any sense? No, of course it doesn't make sense! Nothing here makes sense and I hate it!" Ambrose crouched down and buried his face in his hands. "I hate things that don't make sense!"

DG finally took pity on him. "Alright. If I do this though, you have to promise me something."

The muffled voice sounded broken and vaguely on the verge of tears. "Anything..."

"You have to promise to answer some questions honestly, COMPLETELY honestly. And no more kissing."

"You have my word." Ambrose stood, hands automatically reaching down to tug and straighten his waistcoat. He clasped them behind his back.

"Good." DG nodded. "Now. How do I do this?"

"Just think of a bridge."

"Think of a bridge. It's that easy, huh?"

"Yes, your highness." A bitter sneer of self loathing crossed his face just briefly. "It's that easy..."

DG closed her eyes and thought of bridges...

"Finally!"

Her eyes startled open just in time to catch Ambrose sprinting past her for the door. She blinked. It must have worked. And it had. There, between the tiny island and the riverbank, was a simple wooden bridge. It even had hand rails. "Well, fancy that." She smiled, proud of her accomplishment, and wrestling with the devious little ideas that started whispering in her head. She followed Ambrose through the door and into the relative safety of his library, kind enough to close it behind her.

"So, you're telling me that if I wanted something to appear in here... anything at ALL... all I would have to do is just sort of imagine it, right?"

Ambrose was trembling visibly as he leaned against a set of shelves, his eyes as dark as onyx in his even paler face. "That would seem to be the idea, yes."

DG smiled and took a step closer to him. "So if I wanted to, I could just imagine you..." she closed her eyes. Then opened them quickly at the surprised yip of outrage. Her hand flew to her mouth and she couldn't help the laughter now.

Ambrose looked down at himself wearing a pink taffeta ballgown, complete with frilly hat and hand bag. The affronted look in his eyes was absolutely priceless. "Your Highness, this is NOT funny!"

One of the feathers in his hat wafted forward and down to tickle his nose and he batted it angrily out of the way.

"But Ambrose...!" DG tried to gulp in air between fits of giggles. "It looks so good on you!"

"LIAR! It is just as well that I can get myself out of THIS one without help." In the blink of an eye, the taffeta was gone to be replaced by his neat clothes and grease-stained labcoat. "Fortunately for us both, your Highness, ONE of us at least remembers how good I look in NORMAL clothes."

DG grinned at him. "Oh, calm down. It didn't hurt you that much."

"He LEFT me out there!"

"You probably deserved it!" DG watched him and his hands fluttering in the air gave her the distinct impression of nervous pigeons as he started to walk one way and go another. The smile on her lips faded when she noticed the thin sheen of sweat on his brow and how he seemed to be concentrating very hard on keeping his breath from hitching. He looked like he was on the verge of having a panic attack.

"Hey, are you okay?" She reached her hand up to touch his shoulder in a comforting gesture, but his entire body twisted away from her and he had his own hands up to ward her off.

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine. I will be fine. I am fine. Fine and dandy as the day is long, that's me!"

"You said you wouldn't lie to me, that you would tell the truth no matter what I asked."

"Did I? I don't recall..."

"Alright. If you want to be that way, I can put you right back out there."

"NO!" His hands shot out to grab her wrist. "No, you don't need to do that. I, uh... I..." He released her and stepped back, returning to his strange fluttering routine. "I'll talk, just give me a moment..."

DG sat down in the comfortable blue armchair that she had sat in last time, content to give him the time he needed to spit it out.

Ambrose clapped his hands together. "Well, it's simple. Really simple. Everyone has certain... irrational fears, right? Spiders, snakes... heights. Open spaces, things like that." He pressed his hand to his forehead and his eyes crinkled as he forced a laugh out. "I've got one too! An irrational fear, that is... one that's kind of silly and trivial. So you see, it's all just a laughable little thing, really. Silly, right?"

"I don't think you're silly at all, Ambrose."

"I do! Being silly is a good thing, right? You like it when Glitch is silly, so I don't mind being silly either, I guess." There was a whirl of labcoat and he busied himself examining the books on the shelf. DG almost preferred him when he was stalking her. Maybe it was time for a change of subject.

"So, all these books. Where did they come from?"

He turned his head towards her, caught off guard. "Pardon?"

"You said this was a real place."

"Oh. Yes, it is. It was. This was my own personal library. I used to come here when I couldn't sleep and just curl up on the chair and read."

"What happened to it?"

"It all burned to dust a long time ago." He ran his fingers lovingly over the musty spines.

"How?"

A quiet laugh, not a happy one. "A few well placed jugs of Isopropyl Alcohol and some Molotov cocktails. Went up like a rocket in the night. It would have been quite beautiful if it hadn't been so painful."

"Azkadellia?"

Ambrose turned to face her and leaned his back against the bookcase, his hands in his pockets. "No. It was me." He gave her a thin lipped smile. "Hardest thing I've ever had to do."

DG wasn't sure what to make of that.

Ambrose fidgeted uncomfortably. "Burning your own library down does seem a little crazy, doesn't it?"

DG stood and walked over to him. If he had been Glitch, she would have pulled him into a hug. But he wasn't Glitch. He was Ambrose. She turned so her back was against the bookcase too and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She leaned just close enough for her elbow to brush his arm.

"How many more times do I have to tell you that I don't think you're crazy for you to believe me, Ambrose?"

"Maybe just once or twice more."

"You're not crazy."

"It's sweet of you to say that, but I really do think I am. Ten annuals of being alone in the darkness seriously has to mess with your psyche and I was never all that stable to begin with."

He glanced at her sideways, noting the puzzled frown and the confusion in her bright blue eyes. He smiled sadly.

"If a tree falls in the woods, but no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? That never was the right question, you know? The question people should ask is 'Does the tree know that it's dying cold and alone... and helpless?' The answer, I'm afraid, is an unequivocal yes. Even if there isn't a soul around to know it's there, the tree is perfectly aware that IT is there. What I'm trying to explain is that I can't stop thinking even if I have nobody here to think with. I don't just shut off when you leave. Until the last time you came, I couldn't even summon an image to look at, I was just alone in the dark. I can't even sleep! A man goes crazy if he goes for a week or two without REM sleep and I think it's safe to say that I've got the record! I was borderline insane before, but I'm nigh on certain I'm crazy now."

DG nudged him softly with her elbow. "You might have a point. But wasn't it Hamlet that said, 'I am but mad north northwest when the wind is southerly'?"

Ambrose tilted his head slightly. "I'm not quite sure I understand the reference."

DG rolled her eyes. Of course he wouldn't understand Shakespeare. She tried again. "Okay, so burning down a library SEEMS crazy. But I know you had a sneaky secret squirrel reason cooking in that brain of yours. So out with it."

"Ah. Well, Azkadellia would have burned it anyway. I just beat her to it. And you're right, it did serve a purpose. There's a lot of information in here that she could have twisted and used for her own ends. The history of the Emerald, for example. The nature of your magic, and Azkadellia's. All the plans for all my inventions were here... she was only able to salvage a fraction of them and look at the misery she caused. It was necessary. Just another sacrifice. Not even that big of one."

Ambrose scuffed his foot against the floor and DG listened patiently.

Ambrose thought a moment before continuing, "But the real reason? I guess you could say... that it's a bit of a control thing I have... I NEED to be in control. It was painful beyond imagining to burn it down... but I don't think I would have been strong enough to watch HER do it. As long as I was the one throwing the match, it was alright somehow. I can't explain it any better than that, I'm afraid."

DG nodded thoughtfully. "So that's what you were afraid of outside on that rock. You weren't in control."

Ambrose closed his eyes and nodded. "The last time I felt that helpless was when I was five annuals old. I swore on my life never to let that happen again." He smiled and looked up at her with a soft laugh. "I've been pretty good about it, too." He rolled his eyes and gestured around the room. "Well, mostly. This whole 'brain in a jar' thing leaves you at a little bit of a disadvantage."

"A disadvantage, yes. But you still had control, didn't you? You were still controlling Azkadellia with your whole 'brain in a jar' thing, as you call it. You were manipulating her."

"The witch."

"What about her?"

"I was manipulating the witch. Your sister wouldn't have fallen for my trick so easily. She was always a pretty sharp cookie."

"Oh, yeah?" DG smiled. "What about me?"

"Oh! You! You were so gullible..."

DG scoffed and slapped his shoulder. "I was not!"

Ambrose was smiling again. "I had you eating out of the palm of my hand when you were young. Of course you had me wrapped around your little finger, so I guess it was a fair trade off."

"You know what I think would be a fair trade off?"

"What's that?"

"I think you should tell me about your childhood. Since you know mine so well."

Ambrose shook his head with a shrug. "There's not much to tell."

DG smiled and took his hand, leading him to the arm chairs. "Sit. And tell me about that girl in your window."

Ambrose sank into the seat, his eyebrows raised. "The window? Oh! The one upstairs! That... is... a picture of my sister."

"I didn't know you had a sister. Wait. Yes, I did. You mentioned her the first time we spoke."

"Did I? I don't recall."

"You said that she had died. What was her name?"

"Siobhan. Siobhan Fila Lorathina Silvandra."

"Silvandra. Is that your last name?"

"Used to be. I changed it when I came to the O.Z. I had a somewhat desperate desire to fit in. It didn't help much."

"So, was your first name always Ambrose?"

"No. Gayliach Filo Lodathika Silvandra. You can almost break your teeth on it if you say it fast enough."

"You're right, that is a mouthful."

"It was your mother who named me Ambrose. She and Ahamo brought me here to live after..." Ambrose fiddled with his hands. "After my family died."

DG touched his wrist with her fingertips, trying to convey some comfort.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"It's one of those memories that I don't wish Glitch to have."

"You can tell me. I won't be upset."

"Uh, well. It's a little bit hazy, after all this time. There were raiders. No... not raiders, they were soldiers. The Golden King and his army had come to conquer the Silver Islands. They broke into the palace. They killed... destroyed... everything. There were bodies everywhere. My sister... she took me by the hand and we ran down the hallways, slipping in blood as we went. We came to a room. She hid me in a cupboard and told me that no matter what happened, I must be quiet. The door opened and soldiers rushed in. She fought them off with a sword. There was a dance that we did in the Silver Islands, a dance with swords... and she danced beautifully. It was the Golden King himself who bested her. None of the others even got close. He killed her. I watched and stayed quiet. Like she had told me to." Ambrose cleared his throat. "It was some days later, I think, that your mother came. We had been preparing a festival. A reception. She had just been crowned Queen of the O.Z. and was journeying to the surrounding kingdoms to meet with the royals. Sort of a good will thing. But there was nobody to greet them and when they discovered the state of the palace, she ordered her men to search for survivors. I was just sitting there in that room, holding my sister's hand, when she found me. They took me away, brought me here. Your mother raised me, really, after that." He took a breath and let it out. "I need to talk about something else now."

"Alright. Thank you for telling me so much. Do you want some tea?"

"Oh. Yes, certainly." Ambrose waved a hand and the tea set appeared.

"Thanks. This stuff is good. I asked the cook if we had any tea like it and she looked at me as if I was nuts."

"I blend it myself. I could give you the recipe... I'm not sure how you would keep it when you leave... I'll have to think on that a bit."

DG handed Ambrose a cup of tea made the way she had seen him do the last time.

"So, what were you and Glitch arguing about."

Ambrose rolled his eyes and sipped the tea.

"He thought I was trying to move in on his girl."

"Oh, really? Is that what he thought? Does he still think that?"

"He left me on an island in a toxic sludge river, didn't he?"

"Yeah, I guess that means it didn't end well. Did it at least START well?" DG looked at him hopefully.

"I could show you."

"You can do that?"

"If I can remember it happening. Fair warning, though, it got fairly mean and nasty towards the end. Here."

Ambrose closed his eyes and suddenly she could see ANOTHER Ambrose walking down one of the aisle ways, nose in a book and small gold rimmed reading glasses perched on his nose. The second Ambrose was much more transparent than the one she was talking to. She hadn't had time to process how strange having two Ambroses in one room was when suddenly, out of nowhere, she could see Glitch fade into a somewhat washed out and transparent existence right next to her.

Glitch looked around, obviously puzzled and confused.

DG whispered to Ambrose, HER Ambrose, "Can he see us?"

"No, he's just a memory right now."

It was certainly the strangest thing DG had experienced so far. It was already bad enough seeing two Ambroses in the same room, but two Ambroses AND a Glitch was mind boggling. DG couldn't help but grin, though. Even in his fine new clothes with no patches or holes in them, Glitch still couldn't hold a candle to Ambrose in the style department.

Glitch spied Ambrose #2 and his face lit up in that happy grin that made DG's heart melt. "Ambrose! Hi! It's me Glitch! Remember?"

Ambrose #2 looked up from his book, apparently just as startled to see Glitch as Glitch was to see him. "Oh! Hello." He flashed an uncomfortable smile as he quickly tucked his glasses into a vest pocket.

Glitch's mouth dropped open as he looked around. "Wow, I don't remember this being here last time. Last time it was all white and everything, but this is much nicer!"

"Well, thank you."

"And I really didn't like the white too much. Or the dark. I REALLY didn't like the dark, so thanks for changing it for me!"

"You were the one that gave me the idea. You owe yourself just as much thanks."

"Oh, right." The smile on Glitch's face faded. "Wait, are we talking about myself as in ME myself or myself as in you, or you AND me? Cause we kinda need to clarify now."

"You, yourself."

"Oh, well that's alright then. You're welcome."

Glitch's smile was almost infectious and Ambrose #2 looked like he was starting to relax. "Was there something you wanted, Glitch?"

"I don't think so. Well, actually there was. What I really wanted to do was to hang out with DG today, but she was busy doing Princess stuff with Azkadee, and then I wanted to see if Cain would go exploring with me, but he and Jeb are busy doing Tin Man sort of things, and then I wanted to see if Kalm wanted to play, but he's doing something with Raw today, and then I wanted to go work in our lab, but there are workers there cleaning it up and I was just getting in the way... and then I went to my room, but there wasn't anything to do and then I wanted to talk to you so I came down here and then I remembered that I couldn't talk to you without Raw, but then this lovely Viewer came by and she offered to help me out, so here I am! Hi!"

Throughout this long winded speech, Ambrose #2's managed to keep his fidgeting to a minimum, though DG could have sworn that she saw his eyes go a bit glassy at some point.

"Uh-huh... I see. Alright, well. What did you want to talk with me about."

Glitch smiled nervously and his hand crept of its own accord to the top of his head to tug on his zipper. "I, uh, don't really remember. But I'm sure it was something cool!" A startled expression crossed his eyes. "Wait! I think I remember!"

Glitch began tapping at his pockets, shoving his hands this way and that, searching for something. Ambrose #2 watched with interested puzzlement. Glitch pulled a paper out of his pocket, a look of sheer triumph on his face.

"There! Here! I had an idea and I was hoping you could help me with it!"

Ambrose #2 turned and slid his book onto a shelf then held out a hand. "Alright. Let's have a look, shall we?"

Glitch bounced up and down a bit as he handed off the paper. Ambrose pulled out his reading glasses again and began studying it. Glitch couldn't help but peer over his shoulder.

"What in the wide O.Z. is THIS supposed to be?"

Glitch grinned, insanely proud of himself. "It's a --"

DG frowned. She could see his lips move, but no sound came out. It was like watching a rerun of Blazing Saddles on television, the one where every third line was censored out. DG whipped her head around to look at HER Ambrose.

He gave her a casual shrug. "I was sworn to secrecy."

DG rolled her eyes.

Ambrose #2 was currently giving Glitch a funny look. "The name, while useful, doesn't help much. What is it supposed to DO?"

"Well it's supposed to -- "

DG's cleared her throat, frustrated at the sound going out again. HER Ambrose sighed. "This isn't going to work too well, is it?"

He waved a hand at the two mildly transparent figures then suddenly Ambrose #2 and Glitch were both moving impossibly fast as if somebody had hit the fast forward button on the VCR. They both talked, then walked to the coffee table and knelt in front of it while Ambrose scribbled on Glitch's paper with a pencil that he had tucked in a pocket. They talked and discussed for a while before Ambrose finally nodded and stood up. Then they both slowed back down to regular speed.

Ambrose #2 was looking at Glitch's now modified paper with a pleased expression on his face. "That should actually work."

"Really? You think it will?"

"Yes, I think you've got a splendid idea there, Glitch."

"Well, it wasn't really mine." He looked just a little crestfallen. "It wouldn't have worked the way that I thought it up."

Ambrose #2 raised a hand, struggled with a thought for a second, then gingerly patted his other self on the back. "Well, the important thing is that you thought of it to begin with. I couldn't have done that."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"I only helped with the mathematics of it. Right now you're the one with the brilliant imagination. You can't invent anything if you can't imagine it first. I just got your formulas right. The rest was all you."

Glitch's eyebrows wrinkled together, a somewhat quizzical hopeful expression in his eyes. "Really? You think that?"

Ambrose #2 nodded as he tucked his glasses back into his vest pocket.

Glitch gave him a hug, evidently startling Ambrose, because he froze up like a deer in headlights. After a few moments though, he closed his eyes with that uncomfortable smile and reached up to pat Glitch's arm.

"You're welcome."

Glitch stood back, grinning. "So, I know this is kind of a funny question, but how are we going to build it in here and get it out there?"

"Well, Glitch, that's a little bit on the impossible side, which is why 'we' aren't building anything. You are. And you're going to do it all by yourself!"

"But... But I can't build this...! You're the one who builds machines and things! I mean, I can do little things, but this is BIG, and I don't think I can..."

"Little things and big things aren't all that different. You can do this."

"Nuh huh. Don't think so."

"It'll be easy. You remember how, trust me. You just need to get started."

"I can't remember anything, how can I remember how to do this?"

Ambrose wiggled his fingers in the air. "Muscle memory, you goofball. How do you think you knew how to fight?"

Glitch smiled and tilted his head. "Oh, yeah. That's right... But that was easy and this is different!"

Ambrose didn't answer. He just gave Glitch that look that said 'Are you seriously arguing with me over this?'

Glitch wilted a little. "Are you sure I can do this?"

Ambrose nodded. "Sure, I'm sure. Just write a list of every step that you need to do and do it one step at time."

Glitch still looked doubtful. "What if I forget?"

Ambrose shrugged. "Check each step off as you do it. That way when you glitch, you'll always know where you are."

"That's a good idea."

"Of course it's a good idea. We've been doing it for years. I certainly can't keep track of fifteen different projects if I don't keep notes. It's good practice to keep organized, then you don't waste time figuring out silly things like where you left the pliers. Keep your workspace neat, put your tools away immediately when you've finished using them and just do it one step at a time. Central City wasn't built in a day, so take your time. You'll get it done. I have faith in you."

He was ready for the hug this time. He even almost returned it, just a bit.

Glitch bounced back happily, barely containing his excitement. "Oh, my! This is so wonderful! If I can do this all by myself then I can win DG back and I won't have to be jealous of you anymore!"

Ambrose #2 tilted his head, a puzzled frown on his face. "Win DG back? You don't need to win her back from me, Glitch."

"Of course I do. Ever since the last time she was here, she's liked you better. She won't even look at me anymore."

"Glitch, DG doesn't like me, she thinks I'm an asshole. She's been trying to convince me to go along with your surgery. She only comes here for you."

Glitch's voice dropped a little bit. "Then why did she kiss you?"

Ambrose laughed and shook his head. "Glitch, she didn't kiss me."

"So she lied about it, huh? Is that what I'm supposed to believe?"

"I think you just have your facts confused a little."

"Sure, blame it on the headcase! Of course I would confuse something as important as THAT!"

"I was the one who kissed HER! She didn't even like it all that much. She made me promise not to ever do it again."

"Well, that's not the impression that I got, you... you... pedophile!"

Ambrose #2 dropped his chin, looking at Glitch with a suddenly vicious and predatory gleam in his eye. "WHAT... did you call me?"

"I called you a pedophile, you ugly jerk!"

"A pedophile?" He laughed coldly. "As if you're one to talk. We're the same age, stupid!"

Glitch puffed out his chest, just as angry.

"Well, at least when I remember DG she's always been this tall!" He used his hand to illustrate her height. "YOU remember her from when she was THIS tall!" His hand dropped to knee height.

"Still makes you a cradle robber, old man. You're just a slightly more senile one than I am. How's that Alzheimer's treating ya?"

"A lot better than your formaldehyde bath treatment is... is... treating you! Do you actually have any friends in here or did you just make them all up?"

"Better to have no friends than to have ones that only associate with you because of a pitiable sense of Good Samaratanism. They only pretend to like you because they're afraid that if they leave you alone for five minutes you might accidentally do something to get yourself killed and they don't want you on their conscience. You are NOTHING but a charity case, my friend."

Glitch gasped. "How DARE you?!"

"Quite easily, I'm afraid."

Glitch charged Ambrose who sidestepped easily and used Glitch's own momentum to send him flying into a bookcase. He bounced off easily and roundhouse kicked at Ambrose who caught him and flipped him over with as much grace and simplicity as a ballet dancer.

"Glitch, stop this! It was just a stupid little kiss! It's nothing to get worked up over."

Glitch sat up and rubbed his head, making sure his zipper was still closed.

"It was NOT just a stupid little kiss! It was DG and I loved her first! You had no right!"

He sprang to his feet and attacked Ambrose again with just as little success.

"Alright! I will concede that it may not be a stupid little kiss to you, but to me? It's not the same as a real kiss. If it had been real, I'm sure it would have been wonderful, but I can't feel her or taste her. Not like you can."

"Why?"

"Why? What do you mean, 'why'? IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE NO SENSORY PERCEPTION, YOU DUMBASS!"

"You don't have to yell at me! And I'm NOT a dumbass! You're just a mean JERK!"

"Yes! Finally, someone gets it right! I AM a mean jerk! And I'm jealous of a stupid, brainless, dumber than a box of rocks headcase because I can't even tell what her hair smells like and he can!"

"It smells like raspberries and vanilla, you... you... you whore-son!"

Ambrose froze, what little color there was draining from his face. "I know you didn't just call my mother a whore because not even you can be THAT stupid..."

Glitch lifted his chin defiantly. "You heard me. And you're probably a bastard too!"

Ambrose coiled and sprang like a rattlesnake, tackling Glitch and knocking him into a bookshelf, sending it and them tumbling over. Papers flew everywhere in a giant cloud of dust as the bookcase crashed down into another bookcase. It became a chain reaction of dominoes. And amidst it all, Ambrose had Glitch pinned to the ground and was wailing away on him with some brutally heavy blows.

Through sheer luck, it seemed, Glitch managed to roll Ambrose off of him and returned a punch before trying to crawl away from him. Ambrose grabbed his hair and yanked him back. Glitch howled in pain and kicked Ambrose in the face. Ambrose let go of him long enough for Glitch to scramble away.

Glitch stood panting, clutching his sides. Ambrose laughed somewhat maniacally and stood himself, wiping at his bloody nose with a handkerchief. He looked absolutely deranged and ready for more.

"Glitch, Glitch, Glitch. We can keep doing this all day. You're going to have to think of something a little more creative than beating my brains out if you want to get one over on me. In the prison of the mind, I have you beat."

"We'll just see about that." Glitch closed his eyes, scrunching them up as hard as he could... and the two transparent figures faded away. The bookshelves, the mess of papers and piles of books everywhere all faded and blended until they were back to there original spaces.

DG sat there staring for some time, impressed in spite of herself. "I take it that's when you guys took it outside."

She turned to face the remaining Ambrose in the chair next to her.

He was hiding his face behind his hands.

"Ambrose?"

Two of his fingers parted slightly to allow one eye space enough to peek at her.

"That was horrible, wasn't it?" The words were muffled by his hands.

"It was quite an impressive screaming match." And Dr. Phil would have had a field day. She wasn't even going to touch what Freud would have thought of it.

Ambrose sighed and dropped his hands to his lap. "I keep telling you, we don't really get along. He hates me. We can be fine for a little while, but then he says something stupid, then I get mad and snap back at him..."

"Sibling relationships can be like that I hear. Not that I can even claim to have a remotely normal sibling relationship myself, but that's what I hear."

"Glitch and I aren't siblings, though."

"He talks about you like you are. All the time. It's cute. He seems to think of you as his big brother." Ambrose scoffed and DG smacked his arm lightly. "And he's actually quite proud of you too, even if you do fight like cats and dogs."

"The feeling is surprisingly mutual. He's done some very impressing things for a man in his situation. But still... as much as I respect him, and maybe even admire him, just a little bit, I'm afraid to imagine what living in his head is going to be like. Especially not if... not if..."

Ambrose had trailed off, staring into his teacup.

DG looked at him sympathetically as the figurative light bulb went off. "That's it, isn't it? You're afraid that you won't have any control. That something will happen and you'll be stuck there. I'm sorry, Ambrose. I didn't even think of that before."

Ambrose looked up at her and shrugged. "I still haven't figured out a solution, yet. It's going to take a little more time."

"Yes, I saw your notes upstairs."

"The closest thing I can think of to keep us from going insane is to let him have full control and just... hide in a closet, so to speak... but I honestly don't think I can... can do that... without having some sort of, I don't know... anxiety attack? I don't know if that will cause trouble during the surgery. It's going to be complicated enough without me there in the background crying like a lunatic."

DG took his hands in hers and squeezed them tightly. "Don't worry, Ambrose. We'll think of something, I promise. But right now, I really think I need to go talk to Glitch."

Ambrose looked down. "Yes, you should. I would imagine that he's still a bit upset from earlier."

"I'm sure he's fine. He doesn't stay upset for long. Maybe things will go better after I speak to him. He probably doesn't realize that you're just as scared as he is."

"Lies. I'm not scared of anything. You have no proof to the contrary."

"Whatever. I know the truth."

"And I will continue to deny it vigorously. But could you, uh... Could you tell him something for me?"

"Sure, Ambrose."

"Tell him I'm sorry? That I didn't mean what I said about his friends?"

"I think he knows, but I'll tell him anyway." DG stood and Ambrose stood with her. On impulse, DG hugged him. "I won't stay away so long this time."

Ambrose fidgeted, then hugged her back. "I enjoy it when you visit."

She couldn't help but think of him talking about the tree dying alone in the forest and her heart twisted for him. It must be so lonely...

She kissed him on the cheek and gave him her brightest smile. "I'll be back soon, I promise."

He stepped out of her embrace then took her hand and brushed her knuckles with a kiss. "Until then."

As she began to fade away, she called, "Hey! Are you sure you can't tell me what he's building?"

She had just enough time to see a smile light up his cinnamon colored eyes. "Not a chance!"

***

Her exit from his mind was much smoother this time. She must be getting used to it. "I hate this, Raw."

The Viewer nodded and dropped his hands from where they were. "It be okay, though."

"I just wish I could think of a solution. When I'm with Glitch, he's the most wonderful person in the world, but when I'm with Ambrose... I don't know. It's like I could spend my whole life just peeling away layers and I would always still find more underneath. He's like an onion. Except he smells better and he doesn't make me cry."

Raw smiled a wide toothy smile. "Raw knows. Glitch same way."

"Yes! And they both need me so desperately! I wish I could have both."

Raw nodded understandably.

"I have to go talk to Glitch."

She grabbed Raw around the neck and hugged him tight.

"Thanks for doing this for me! I appreciate it so much."

"Raw know. DG welcome."

"I'll see you later."

DG practically ran out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Not What He Seems part 4  
by Phantaz-magoria

A/N: I have some seriously epic love for all the reviews you guys keep giving me =) They help me write faster. Didn't help too much with THIS chapter. Silly thing took forever and I'm still not happy with out it turned out. Oh well, sometimes you got to just let it go and get on to the next chapter, right? Let me know how you all like it!

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DG opened her eyes, fully expecting to see the now familiar library. She was going to learn one of these days not to be surprised. She was in the stables at Finaqua. Warm sunlight streamed in through the rafters and the open barn door.

She sighed happily. She loved this place. The earthy sweet smells of saddle leather and horses and fresh cut hay always made her feel like she was home. It was sort of a surprise that Ambrose would choose to come here, though. Every time she visited, she learned more and more about him, but nothing she had seen of him would have suggested that he liked horses. His fastidious nature and his almost compulsively neat attire seemed somewhat at odds with this sort of environment. DG caught herself laughing softly. If she didn't know any better, she would say that even the grease stains on his lab coat were applied with precision.

At the sound of her laughter, the wooden boards above her head creaked and some bits of hay fell down, golden in the sunshine. DG smiled. He must be up in the hayloft. She quickly found the ladder and climbed. Sure enough, there he was laying stretched out on a pile of hay with his eyes closed, hands folded under his head, a serene expression on his face. He wasn't wearing his usual attire, just his dark trousers, boots, and a button up white shirt. His suspenders were loose, down by his thighs and the black cravat was gone. He looked far more comfortable and relaxed than she was used to seeing him.

DG smiled and stepped gingerly over him so she could lay down on the hay next to him. She could see his lips quirk up in a smile, though he didn't open his eyes. When she had finally gotten herself situated, she leaned over and kissed Ambrose on the cheek.

He chuckled softly, "What happened to your 'no kissing' rule?"

"It seems to be flexing a bit. I might be growing more attached to you."

"Oh dear. That's not very sensible of you, is it?"

"I can't really claim to be a sensible girl, now can I? I blame it on my environment."

"Nonsense. Kansas seems like a perfectly sensible place to grow up."

"Really? And how do you know about Kansas?"

"The first Slipper was from Kansas. She wrote about it in her diary."

DG turned to stare at him.

Ambrose opened his eyes. "What is that look for?"

"I just find it a little strange that you've read my great great grandmother's diary."

"No diary in the world is safe from an avid reader like me. If I could get to yours, I would read it too."

Something about the glint in his eyes... DG frowned. "You're joking, aren't you?"

"Hey, you caught on."

DG smacked him in the chest and he doubled up, rolling onto his side, choking with laughter.

"Ambrose, I really hate you sometimes."

"Only because I keep you on your toes."

"You wouldn't really read my diary, would you?"

He rolled back over to look at her. "I've been trying very hard not to."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you think very loudly when you're here and I have to concentrate very hard not to accidentally pick up every stray thought that flitters through that pretty head of yours."

DG smiled impishly at him. "You can hear what I'm thinking?"

A blush began to creep up Ambrose's neck. "Your Highness..." Ambrose trailed off as his eyes turned glassy. "Alright, I think it's safe to say that that is a yoga position I have not yet heard of. Or you have a splendidly fantastic imagination."

"So you CAN read my thoughts!"

"If you insist on thinking so loudly, there's little I can do, I'm afraid. You are sort of hard wired into my brain, after all."

DG smiled mischievously and Ambrose pressed his palms to his eyes trying to block out what he was seeing.

"GYAH! You wicked little minx, I order you to cease and desist at once!"

DG snickered and stretched her back sinuously. "Why, Ambrose. You seem a little uncomfortable, I'm not bothering you am I?"

"Dorothygale, if you don't stop right now..."

"Seems to me that if you can't stand the heat, you shouldn't play with fire."

"Fire is a dangerous thing to talk about in a hay loft."

DG turned her head to look at him and suddenly her lips were caught in a kiss, hot and sweet just like she remembered. His mouth moved against hers and she moaned low in her throat. His fingers were in her hair and his thumb was rubbing circles against her temple. It didn't last nearly long enough.

DG could feel his lips smile against hers. His voice was a pleasant rumble, "He was right, you do taste like strawberries and mint."

She opened her eyes to see him gazing at her with a somewhat cryptic expression on his face. "You and Glitch have been talking about me?"

"We've been trying to work out some issues we have about you."

"Trying to figure out which one of you has dibs on me, you mean?"

"I love how you try to describe this as some sort of entitlement dispute. That is only a small part of it."

"What's the other part?"

Ambrose sighed and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I want you to know something. No matter what happens... whatever happens... You will always be cherished by one of us."

DG bit her lip and looked away. "You say that as if one of you isn't going to make it..."

"It's a very real possibility."

"I refuse to accept that. I want you both, and I'm the Princess so I get what I want, right? That's how being royalty works. You have to give me what I want."

"I'm trying, kitten. Believe me, I'm trying."

"Don't try. Just do. That's your motto, isn't it?"

He smiled. "Been doing some research, have you?"

"Just a little bit. Most of the people I talk to are pretty tight lipped about you. They seem to think that if they say anything, your ghost is going to come back and exact some sort of divine retribution."

Ambrose chuckled and lay back in the hay, his arm circling around DG's shoulder and pulling her close to his side. "Smoke and mirrors and superstitions. I never had to lift a finger."

"You certainly don't seem to be denying anything."

"I don't have anything to deny. I gave the cleaning staff very specific instructions not to touch anything in my lab. I take no responsibility for what may or may not have happened to that poor girl."

"What girl? Ambrose, what did you do?"

"The poor little maid whose skin turned blue. She must have got into something of her own accord, because I wasn't there and had nothing to do with it."

"You turned her skin blue?"

"I did nothing of the sort. As I said, I was miles away at the time and you can't prove a thing. Besides, she was fine. It only took a month or so to wash off. No harm done."

DG's hand curled against his silk shirt. "You're unbelievable, you know that?"

"Unbelievable? How so? Strange, outrageous... peculiar? Phantasmagorical?"

"No, I think you're interesting, and wonderful... and amazing. I think that growing up with you would have been magical."

"Yes. Could have been absolutely miserable, too."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because there isn't a boyfriend alive who would not have been pissing themselves after I followed them home."

"You sound just like my dad. He always threatened the guys I took home with the shotgun."

"I don't need a shotgun to cause permanent bodily harm. Of course, most sensible people around here already know this, so it may not have ever come to that."

DG lifted her head from where it rested against his arm. "One of these days, you'll have to explain to me why exactly everyone thinks you're dangerous. My mother even thinks so and she claims that you were good friends."

"Oh, we were friends. But having not witnessed the conversation, I can only guess as to the context she might have been referring."

"Could you? Guess, I mean. I think I really need to know."

DG gave him a pleading look and Ambrose visibly melted.

"I hate that look. I see you've been practicing it some, you almost have it perfect."

DG rested her chin on his chest, blinking her saucer large eyes at him.

"Fine!" He brushed his fingers through her hair. "Silly, little minx..." He sighed. "My first guess would be that she could be referring to me specifically as a dangerous person. I have a singular talent for choosing a time and a place for people to meet their maker."

"See? I just can't see that about you."

Ambrose scowled a bit. "I'm somewhat hesitant to ask this question, honey doll... but what sort of advising do you think I do?"

DG gave him a somewhat puzzled frown. "I haven't really given it much thought."

Ambrose chuckled softly, the vibrations rumbling deep in his chest. "Let's just say she's never asked me what color ribbon scheme would compliment the carnations at her next party."

"So you're... what?"

"I advise her on other matters, but one of my primary duties is as a military advisor."

"A military advisor, huh? Would you be terribly offended if I said that you suck at it?"

"Well, it is notoriously difficult to win a war if you can't kill the enemy."

"Point. But how does a scrawny, geeky, boring guy like you get to be the head military advisor?"

"Geeky?" The word almost squeaked out of him and DG hid her grin in his shirt. "You think I'm GEEKY?"

"That's what we call guys back home that are smarter than there own good and are more interested in technology than girls. Except they never wash themselves, they wear the same clothes so often that they get pit stains and they smell like yak butter."

"How... disgustingly abhorrent."

"Don't worry. You dress too nicely to be a real geek. Even if you are getting straw in your clothes."

She tossed a few strands of hay at him and he caught her hand in his. "Yak butter...?"

"I was teasing. You don't smell like yak butter at all... you smell..." DG inhaled deeply to refresh her memory. "Divine."

"Oh, really? And you have some experience with what 'divine' smells like, I imagine?"

"Of course I do! It smells like leather and engine oil, and pine trees... cigar smoke...whiskey." She sniffed again. "And hay."

"Divine smells like all of that? He sounds like a very peculiar guy, this 'Divine' fellow of yours."

"Oh, he's peculiar alright. But you know, I think I might be falling in love with him a little bit..."

"Dear gracious me. I'm going to have to kill him, aren't I? Not even out of the jar yet and my hit list is growing."

"You are not going to kill him, Ambrose."

"I don't know. It's bad enough I have to share you with myself, I don't know if I can compete with another man. Especially one called Divine. Though he does sound a little fruity. Easier for all involved if I just kill him. For sure."

DG kissed him softly on the lips.

"What if I told you he was you?"

"Then I would say that somehow or another I've acquired a very fruity sort of name. I think I prefer Glitch over Divine."

"See? I told you you would grow to like him."

"It's more than that... I need him. Don't tell him I said this, but he's a lot more important than I let him believe. I may be the talking encyclopedia of all knowledge to our little motley crew of two, but I can't string an original idea together to save my life. That seems to be entirely his department. I can't figure out this brain problem if we aren't working together. I can dredge up all the information we ever had, but I can't put it in the right sequence if he isn't here"

"That's... very interesting. It makes sense, though, when you think about it. I mean, when we were traveling, Glitch always had some pretty good ideas, he just couldn't hold a thought long enough for them to make sense. Like when we were searching for Ahamo? It was his idea to ask Airofday..." DG giggled. "But he forgot what he was going to ask her. He ended up with something silly. I can't even remember what it was, but it was just the most oddball question. He's like that, you know? Surprising."

"It's hard to be surprising when you live in the past. Everything's already happened before."

"You surprise me too. You're probably the most surprising guy I know."

"I suspect you might be saying that to make me feel better."

"When I first saw you, it was that picture in the Northern Palace. I thought you were the most, I don't know... card-board looking stuffed shirt I've ever seen."

"I can't say that I'm terribly surprised, I think I recall whispering death threats to the artist during most of the sitting."

"And here you are, this wonderful, brilliant, funny..." DG trailed off

"You forgot dangerous."

"See? You always lose me there. I really don't see how that's such a bad thing."

Ambrose eyed her carefully. "I could snap your neck with a flick of my wrist and you don't think that's a bad thing?"

"You could, but I know you won't. And besides, girls LOVE dangerous men. If you were nearly a tenth as dangerous as you think you are, there would have been swarms of women all over you and... well, unless you've been lying to me, it doesn't sound like there were that many."

"Just one other aside from you."

"Who was she?"

"Leona. I met her in school. She was the only girl I'd ever met who didn't giggle at me. She was lovely too."

"Is she the one that you..."

"Yes. We were eighteen when we were married. She was beautiful. Red hair, green eyes. Gorgeous smile. Very feisty, just like you. I think I could have been happy with her." He gave her a sad, bittersweet smile. "Not all good things are meant to last."

DG chewed her lip thoughtfully, fingers tracing the delicate embroidery of his shirt.

"Why does my mother think you're dangerous, Ambrose?"

"I haven't spoken with her, I really can't be certain. To hazard a guess, I'd have to say that it might just be some political posturing that she has to do. The people who hate Azkadellia have just as much reason to hate me, if not more. She used the things that I had invented to hurt people. Even your Mr. Cain was hurt terribly by something that I... well, two somethings actually. Couple that with the fact that I should have been able to stop her before this mess even got started and you've got yourself a nice recipe for scapegoat stew."

"I don't understand. Why would she make you a scapegoat?"

"People like to lay blame. It's human nature. She could be trying to shift blame away from Azkadellia or herself. Or both."

"But none of this was anyone's fault."

"That may be true, but your mother is in a very dicey position, politically. She let her own desires affect how she ruled her kingdom. She put her daughter's lives over those of her people and a good queen is expected not to do that. If I were to come back, some of her rivals might use me as an excuse to force her to abdicate her throne. She might be wanting to keep me here to protect her position."

"Okay, so scapegoat. I can understand that, but why does it have to be you? Why can't they blame the people who are really at fault? Like General Lynot?"

"General Lynot had a wife and three daughters. After what the witch had done to the loved ones of others close to the throne, I really can't say that I was surprised, or even disheartened by his choice. He did what he thought he had to to protect the people he loved, and I wouldn't want to see them persecuted for his actions. Call me silly."

"Okay, well that still leaves you. I mean, what threat could you possibly pose to anyone? Why keep you in here? Glitch is still alive and walking around. If they wanted to blame you, wouldn't they blame him too?"

"It serves two purposes. It protects Glitch. They can point to his zipper and say 'See? He's already been punished enough.' So it keeps him safe to a degree. It also keeps me in a position where I have no choice but to cooperate with any sort of public relations story they can come up with to try to reduce some of the damage that was done. With me here, they can say that it was Ambrose who advised the Queen poorly, and Ambrose who designed the witch's Sun Seeder and maybe even that it was all a plot that Ambrose had dreamed up, that he let the witch loose and that he was horribly betrayed by her in her quest for power... if they can develop this into a plot between the Queen's head advisor and the witch... well, people will see the Queen as another victim. And they might forget to blame Azkadellia who was possessed by the witch. Or that it was your death and rebirth that lost the Queen her power to stop this and... well, her own very personal desire to save her children that kept us from winning the war against her."

"So, you think it too..."

"Think what?"

"That it was a mistake to bring me back."

"Honey doll, I think it was a mistake to let you die in the first place. Bringing you back was only right."

"Nobody could have stopped that..."

"Your mother could have. She knew about the witch. I had told her to be careful. Azkadee behaved differently after the cave. You saw it. I saw it. I tried to warn her and she didn't listen. Then when Daniel was killed..." Ambrose cleared his throat softly. "Daniel was my... my very good friend. When he died, I told her again about how dangerous Azkadellia had become and she refused to believe. It wasn't until your funeral that she admitted how wrong she had been. And still she kept our hands tied. You can't win a war if you can't kill the enemy. There was nothing I could do, nothing any of us could do, but watch as she slowly took over and razed everything in her way."

"So let me get this straight. You're mad at the Queen because you told her to kill my sister while she had the chance and she didn't?"

"I'm not angry about anything. Just stating a few simple facts."

DG sat up and pulled away from him. "I don't believe I'm hearing this! So you're telling me that if it had been ME that the witch had taken, you would have asked my mother to have somebody kill me."

"No. I would have done it myself."

"I can't believe you would do such a thing!" DG backed away from him, brushing straw off her clothes as if trying to rid herself of some sort of slimy substance.

Ambrose stood in one fluid motion, stepping away from DG before turning to face her, his eyes the color of black coffee. "Can't believe what? That I would condemn myself to a lifetime of misery and torment to save countless thousands of people from needless suffering? Yes, I would do it, have no doubt. I wouldn't have enjoyed it and the memory would have haunted me until the day I killed myself from the grief of it, but I would have done what I had to."

Ambrose ran a hand through his hair and began picking pieces of straw from his trousers. "I had no desire to hurt your sister, DG. But if I had, if I had done my duty... The Mystic Man would still be alive. The Tin Men that were gathered up and executed would still be alive. Raw's people wouldn't have been hunted and exploited. Hundreds of people in Central City wouldn't be addicted to Vapors. The Eastern Guild, for all the little ankle-biters deserved it, wouldn't have been destroyed. The Papay wouldn't have starved and hundreds of helpless travelers wouldn't have been captured and eaten by them. Hundreds of good men and boys wouldn't have died fighting a hopeless war that they couldn't win and their families wouldn't have been heartbroken to know they weren't coming home. Adora Cain would still be alive. Daniel would... I could continue, your Highness, but there is a GREAT deal of consequence to that one little cause of mine. If I had done my duty, your mother wouldn't have had to choose between saving you and saving her kingdom. Glitch is very fortunate to be able to forget little things like this, but the suffering of thousands is a responsibility that I will bear for all time. All because I couldn't bring myself to disobey your mother when I knew she was wrong. Because I couldn't kill a sweet, charming, innocent little girl."

Ambrose straightened his shirt and pulled his suspenders up over his shoulders, not meeting her gaze. "Maybe... maybe if I saw the world in bright rainbows as Glitch does, I could pretend just for a moment that it was compassion, or love, goodness. One of those nice emotions that makes everything seem okay. 'You screwed the world, but it was for the sake of love and everyone can forgive you for that...' But in shades of gray, all it was is weakness. I'm sorry that you don't understand that."

DG opened her mouth to talk, but felt reality slipping away. "No!" Color and light began swirling around her. "I am not done speaking to you, Ambrose! You can't just make me go away..."

* * *

DG was back in the brain room. She stomped her foot in frustration. "I hate you!"

Raw flinched and DG sighed. "Not you, Raw. HIM! I hate HIM! And his 'woe to the martyr' crap that he keeps trying to pull. Can you get me back in there, Raw?"

The Viewer shook his head. "Ambrose resisting. Make connection hard."

DG turned to face Raw, finger pointing in emphasis. "One of these days I'm going to get him into the real world where he can't just run away from me when he's uncomfortable. THEN we'll see who gets the dramatic exits! I'm going to talk to the Queen and find out if any of this is true. Could you find Glitch for me? He and I need to discuss some things too."

Raw nodded. "DG not need be upset. Ambrose just hurting."

"Yeah? Well, he's about to be hurting more when I get through with him."

Raw winced in sympathy as he watched DG storming out.


	5. Chapter 5

Not What He Seems part 5  
By Phantaz-magoria

A/N: Hooray for the last chapter not being silly! I was afraid it was going to be. And then I wrote this chapter which is even more crackbrained than any of the previous ones. It keeps getting worse and worse and it just wont stop! Thanks everyone for the reviews, I love them to death. I would give each one of you a hug if I could!

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This time, when DG came to visit, she wasn't alone. She had brought back up. The plan was brilliant; corner him, confront him, interrogate and beat some answers out of him if they had to. The trouble was that it seemed Ambrose had caught on to the plan even before they arrived and he had set up his own preemptive strike, so to speak.

DG and Wyatt Cain came to existence in a place that DG had hoped never to see again; the jail cell in the witch's tower. It smelled just as terrible as it had the last time she was here. It was just as dank, just as oppressive. DG sighed.

"Fair warning, he's got a bit of a melodramatic streak."

Cain grimaced. "Don't worry." He pulled his revolver out of his belt. He wasn't wearing the duster, but he refused to be anywhere without his hat and gun holster. "I brought my anti-melodrama tool with me."

"I don't know about that. It might just encourage him."

DG flinched as a scream of pain echoed through the metal walls. It was hard to tell how far away it was. "I hope that's not him..."

Cain twirled his revolver but kept it out and ready. He patted her shoulder with his other hand. "One way to find out."

They walked slowly through the maze of cages, quiet in each others company until they came to the only occupied one on the floor. Ambrose hung suspended upside down from the ceiling from his ankles, completely soaked and dripping water onto the floor. The only thing he wore now were the torn and dirty brown trousers that Glitch had been wearing the first time they'd met. His torso was criss-crossed in angry red welts and cuts that contrasted greatly with the pale skin of his arms and the black and purplish bruises that seemed to cover almost every square inch of his chest and abdomen.

"God, Ambrose... What are you doing in here?"

Ambrose split open one very swollen eyelid to look at her. "Yoga."

DG wrapped her fingers around the cold iron bars as Cain slid his gun into its holster, unable to stop himself from staring. She could see Ambrose visibly trembling from the cold and there was a bluish tinge to his skin.

Ambrose eyed them both. "What? D-d-don't I look like I know y-y-yoga? I'll have you know that th-th-this is a very complicated and advanced pose kn-kn-known as the 'upside down sc-c-carecrow' and it takes a great d-d-deal of talent to get up here." He closed his eye again with a grimace that split open the barely healed cut on his lip. "In fact, I would v-v-venture to say that I'm almost just as f-f-flexible as you, your Highness."

"I think what the lady meant to ask is why are you in here. This is your mind isn't it? You're controlling all this, so why this place?" Cain was frowning. Melodrama didn't even begin to cover this.

"If I'm going to b-b-be uncomfortable, I don't s-s-see why you can't join me," was the petulant response.

DG scowled at him. "Well, I for one am not going to talk to you while you're hanging in there."

Ambrose tried to tilt his head to see her better, but the motion only caused him to sway back and forth. "Heh, heh, well. Prisons of the m-m-mind being as and what they are... We are inc-c-carcerated by the limitations we place on ourselves, imprisoned only by the instit-t-tutions we expect ourselves t-t-to conform to."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"There is no prison. That d-d-doesn't make me any less stuck."

DG looked at Cain and he nodded, turning to go find the gear that would unlock the door.

Ambrose whistled softly as he watched him go. "Wow. Do you think he kn-kn-knows his pants are that tight?"

DG couldn't help but smile, though it didn't reach her eyes. "No, he doesn't, so don't you dare tell him. And stop gawking."

"N-n-not gawking... Appreciating beauty in all it's f-f-forms."

There was a clanking sound of massive gears turning and the door to the cell slid open. DG hurried inside, careful not to slip in the water that covered the floor, and knelt by Ambrose's head, taking both his hands in hers. She looked up at Cain who had followed slowly inside. "Can you get him down?"

Cain examined the manacles that held the dangling man's ankles. "You got a key for this padlock here?"

"N-n-no. No key. Could get it with a b-b-bobby pin and a screwdriver if you have them h-h-handy."

DG cradled Ambrose's head in her arms trying to ease his shivering. "Bobby pins I have, but I loaned my screwdriver to Glitch."

"Could probably m-m-manage with a n-n-nail file."

DG kissed his forehead. "I've got one of those." She searched in the pocket of her jacket for the nail file and pulled a bobby pin out of her hair. "Here."

"Thanks."

Ambrose struggled to pull himself up so he could reach the padlock at his ankles. Cain ended up helping support his weight. It took Ambrose all of twenty seconds to deftly maneuver the tumblers until the lock clicked open and his feet fell so suddenly that Cain's steady hold on him was the only thing keeping Ambrose from crumpling entirely to the ground.

Cain lowered Ambrose to a sitting position and stepped back, hands on his hips. "Okay, headcase, how about you get us out of here now or tell us what we're doing in here."

Ambrose squinted up at him, rubbing his ankles and feet. "It seemed like a s-s-suitable environment for an interrogation."

DG draped her coat around his shoulders. "We didn't come here to interrogate you, Ambrose."

"You don't expect me to believe that you brought the Tin Man along so I could stare at his ass, do you?"

Cain choked, coughing to hide his embarrassment. DG looked away for a moment, but it was enough for Ambrose to catch the slightly guilty expression in her eyes.

"Ah. I see. You brought him here to keep you safe."

"It wasn't my idea, mother insisted on it."

"Probably wise."

Cain stepped forward, hand raised. "Listen kids, this is all real heart wrenching, but some place else, if you don't mind?"

"Think of some place yourself. My head hurts."

Cain scowled, about to say something more, but DG stopped him with a shake of her head. "It's okay, Cain. I've got it."

She closed her eyes and concentrated. Some place safe and warm... safe and warm... She opened her eyes to watch the dreary rusted metal prison ripple and melt away to be replaced by the wooden walls of her attic bedroom in Kansas. The palace was wonderful, but it was easier to remember this place with the heater on full blast and her quilted comforter and all of her pictures on the wall.

Ambrose opened an eye and looked around. "Impressive. You're getting good at this."

DG wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to his feet. "Let's get you into bed, okay?"

Cain threw his hands up in the air. "I can't believe you're encouraging this crap!" DG shot him a venomous look and he gestured with one hand. "Hey, if he wants to feel sorry for himself, fine. That's his decision, but you don't have to waste your time catering to his ego."

Ambrose winced as DG helped him down onto the bed. "I do not have... Hmm. Alright, I concede. I do have a bit of an ego. But it's justified, dammit." He closed his eyes.

DG brushed a wet strand of hair away from his forehead. "Don't listen to him, Ambrose. I don't mind."

Cain readjusted his hat. "He's manipulating you, princess."

DG smiled sweetly at him. "You are more than welcome to leave if you would like, Mr. Cain."

"No. Your mother was right. You need somebody watching out for you in here."

"I'm a grown adult. I can look out for myself."

"It's not you I'm concerned about, kiddo." Cain looked pointedly at Ambrose who still had his eyes closed and looked to all intents and purposes dead to the world.

DG shook him gently. "Hey, I thought you couldn't sleep."

"I can't. I'm not. Just choosing not to look at 'chubby' over there giving me a glare that could curdle sour cream. Not that his looks couldn't do that anyway regardless of his expression."

Cain rolled his eyes and walked away.

Ambrose opened an eye, lips twitching in a smirk. He whispered conspiratorially, "I get the impression he doesn't like me too much."

"Cain doesn't like anyone, really. It's not just you."

"Oh, good. Because it really matters to me what he thinks."

"Sarcastic much, are we?" DG took his hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"Sarcasm is one of the many services I provide free of charge."

"And you're very good at it."

"Thank you. I practice." He smiled up at her.

"So... are you going to tell me what was going on in there?"

"I was contemplating what it means to be miserable. You just happened to walk in on the last great memory I have of the experience."

"Why?"

"Why does that memory stick out for me? Oh, I don't know. Maybe because it was a relatively lousy experience."

"No, silly. Why were you trying to remember how to be miserable? It seems like an odd thing to do."

"I think I might be afraid of being happy for too long a stretch of time. It never seems to last."

"So you were remembering what being unhappy felt like just in case you had to go back to doing it? You couldn't just let it happen if it happens?"

"I like to be prepared."

"You're a regular boyscout."

DG was silent for a moment before she brushed her knuckles against his cheek.

"Ambrose, do you think you could do me a favor and try remembering what you look like when you haven't been fed through a meat grinder?"

"You don't find this look ruggedly appealing?"

"Not a bit."

Ambrose winced in pain. "Sorry, honey doll. I can't. My head's hurting too much."

DG brushed her fingers through his hair. "Maybe if you didn't put yourself in impossible yoga positions, you wouldn't have that problem."

"Yeah, maybe." There was that ghost of sadness in his eyes, a fleeting glimpse of an unnameable tragedy yet to happen. But in a flash it was gone, replaced by the soft grin that Glitch wore so easily and Ambrose struggled to find. "Granted, it's not nearly as acrobatic as YOUR signature pose, but I will admit, it does take it's toll."

DG held his hand and continued to card her fingers through his wet curls focusing on what he looked like when she first saw him; proud, arrogant, fully clothed in a three piece suit, but she tried not imagine his labcoat. She didn't want it to ruin her quilt.

"See? I told you you were getting good at this."

DG smiled down at him. The swelling was gone from his face and he had at least a healthier tone to his pale skin. She had even gotten the vest and cravat right. His hand was still cold, but somethings just probably couldn't be changed.

Ambrose sat up with a grimace. "I wish you could fix my headache...

Cain had finished pacing evidently because he was standing over the bed, entreating DG, "Just ask him what you came to ask him so we can leave already?"

DG sighed in frustration.

Ambrose looked Cain over from head to toe with a calculating gleam in his eyes. Something seemed to shift behind his eyes and DG could recognize the mannerisms. He was in predator mode, stalking his pray. "I'm sorry, sir. We haven't met properly, have we?" He held out his hand for Cain to shake. "My name is Ambrose Agincourt."

The effect on Cain at the mention of that name was like seeing a person getting doused with ice water.

"Agincourt? As in the Duke of Agincourt?"

Ambrose nodded stiffly, only the faintest trace of smugness showing in his smile.

Cain still looked like he'd seen a ghost. "You're... You're General Agincourt?"

"The very same."

DG was puzzled. "Why? Do you know him?"

Cain nodded his head slowly, still trying to shake himself out of his daze. "General Agincourt was the most brilliant military strategist of our generation. He personally led the Queen's armies against the Witch of the East and her horde of darkness." Cain laughed, still incredulous. "He faced down a giant in single combat. The man's a legend."

DG looked at Ambrose, eyes wide in question.

He shrugged. "Giants are nothing. Smash them on the toe and they cry like kittens."

"You killed a giant?"

"I could tell you, but modesty forbids. Wouldn't want anyone to think I have an overly large ego."

"How big of a giant?"

"Only about 25 feet or so. Fairly small as giants go."

"Modesty is not your strong suit. You should stick to sarcastic sensationalism."

"Well, since you've given me permission... the bloody thing was enormous! My head barely came up to his thigh. He could have crushed my rib cage in one fist. It was an extraordinary feat of bravery."

"That sounds much better, thank you. Well! Now that you and Cain have found something in common," and he can stop whining about being here, she added silently, "why don't we get down to business."

"Yes, what was it you wanted to speak to me about?"

"Can you be ready for that operation in three days?"

"Umm... pardon?" Ambrose blinked owlishly.

Cain patted DG on the shoulder. "Told you this wasn't going to go over well, kiddo."

DG shook her head and scooted closer to Ambrose on the bed so she could look into his eyes.

"Ambrose, my mother isn't changing her mind. We've all tried appealing to her, but she is adamant in her decision. She's frustratingly stubborn."

Ambrose smiled a bit. "That doesn't sound like anybody else I know at all."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways! She is leaving for Central City in three days. She's only going to be there for a short while, so we've got a very short window of time when we can do this operation and get away with it and have nobody the wiser."

Ambrose tilted his head.

DG fidgeted impatiently. "Well? What do you think?"

"I'm processing, give me a moment."

"Could you process faster?"

"You want to disobey the direct orders of the Queen of the O.Z. You know that's treason, right?"

"I prefer to think of it as latent rebellious tendencies left over from my childhood."

"That's all well and good for you, but what about me? If I disobey her, I don't have that convenient blood relative card to play. I very well could be executed for treason."

DG grinned mischievously. "Why, Ambrose! You're just a brain in a jar, what choice do you have in the matter?"

Ambrose's eyes sparkled with delight. "Oooh. Point. And Glitch?"

"He's just a headcase, right? I tricked him into going along with me, accidentally of course. He can't be responsible for what he doesn't remember is wrong."

"Lousy legal defense, but it could work."

"So, we do this while she's gone, there's nothing she can do about it after the fact, right?"

"Except take me right back out again."

"That's the beauty of the plan. Not if she doesn't know it's you."

Ambrose's jaw fell open and he stared at her. "You... are a devious little minx. Tell me, does Glitch know about this?"

She smiled wide. "It was his idea."

"He's a brilliant guy, our Glitch, isn't he? What does the Tin Man think?" Ambrose turned his gaze up to Cain.

"I think this whole thing is insane. But my job is to keep the kid safe and happy and I intend to do that. With or without your help." Icy blue eyes drove the threat home.

Ambrose smiled. "It doesn't make you nervous? The thought of having to throw down against the Giantkiller?"

"Well, now. That's what the gun's for." Cain raised it in demonstration.

"It's interesting you should say that. Did you know it takes about a second or two for a visual stimulus to make its way from your cornea to your visual cortex. It then gets routed to the central processing unit in your brain, that takes another second or so. Then you have to decide how to react to it, another second. Then your brain has to send that message all the way down your nervous system to the muscles of your hand. All together, we're talking about a five second reaction time. So, theoretically, if I WERE to do something... do you really think you could pull that trigger fast enough?"

"Fast as I need to."

DG listened to this exchange with growing worry. "Except he's not going to need to pull that trigger because you AREN'T going to do anything, right?"

"Oh, come now, your Highness. You know me quite well, would I really do something that silly?"

"Yes. Yes, you would. You're crazy, remember?"

"Only a little bit here and there."

"Ambrose..." There was something about him that reminded her of something... something like a coiling rattlesnake... "NO!!!"

He sprang forward, the gun went off and there was a horrible thud as a body hit the wooden floorboards. DG screamed.

"No! Oh, God no!" She fell to her knees beside Ambrose's body, tears in her eyes as she looked up at Cain. "What the HELL is WRONG with you?"

Cain's own eyes were wide with shock as he lowered his gun. "He attacked me..."

A maniacal sort of chuckle echoed around the room causing DG and Cain to look wildly about.

"Ambrose?"

Then DG spotted him. He was standing directly behind Cain with a satisfied smirk on his face. "I'm not quite sure what you expected to achieve from that, Tin Man."

Cain spun instinctively, using the butt end of his revolver to bash at the person who startled him, but Ambrose caught his elbow and twisted it down, using the other hand to easily pluck the gun from Cain's suddenly nerveless fingers. Ambrose grinned at him, then peered around at the body that DG still knelt beside. "I just wanted to see if he'd really do it. That's actually quite a good shot, though. I am very impressed, Mr. Cain." Ambrose patted him cheekily on the side of the face and stepped around.

DG sprang to her feet, hands balled into fists, and she began pummeling Ambrose in the chest. "I hate you! You scared me to death, you bastard!"

Ambrose took the assault gamely before taking her face in his hands and kissing her soundly. DG acquiesced only until he released her. Then she punched him one last time for good measure. "I hate you!"

"Only because I keep you on your toes, kitten."

Cain was massaging his forearm, trying to work some feeling back into his numb hand. "You have some serious mental issues, headcase."

"Which brings us to the problem at hand. Three days, you were saying?"

DG glared. "I'm not so sure. You really think I want anything to do with you after pulling a stunt like that? I thought he killed you!"

"Well... Hmm." He frowned and looked at her, his cinnamon colored eyes conveying the puzzled worry behind them. "I'm sorry, kitten. I should have thought it might be obvious..."

"What was obvious?"

"If it was that easy for me to shuffle off this mortal coil, I probably would have my own quietus made quite a while ago. So to speak."

DG was still angry, but she looked up at him curiously. "You HAVE read Hamlet then."

Ambrose grinned, that Glitch-like grin that made his whole face light up. "Glitch brought me a book to read yesterday."

DG let out a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding and forced her jaw to unclench. She leaned her forehead against his shoulder. "Don't. Do that. Again. EVER. Or I won't forgive you next time. Don't mistake me, I haven't forgiven this time yet, not by a long shot. But if you do something crazy like that again, so help me..."

Ambrose wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. "You have my word. No more crazy stunts. Aside from attempting to do a treasonous and complicated brain surgery behind the Queen's back while she's away for a day or two and then trying desperately to keep her from finding out it ever happened."

DG hiccuped a laugh. "Point."

"If this is going to work, I need Glitch to help me. Can you get him?"

"I think I can drag him away. He's been in his lab working on a top secret project. You don't have any idea what it is, do you?"

"Nice try, kitten, but I'm not inclined to rat myself out."

"Can't blame a girl for trying, can you?"

Cain spoke up. "Wait a minute, wait a minute. I thought you were the brains of this outfit. What do you need Glitch for?"

Ambrose turned his head so he could give Cain an assessing gaze. "Ambrose is brains and knowledge and know-how, true, but Glitch is inspiration and insight. I need him here to make us work right."

Cain blinked. "Did you... did you just refer to yourself in the third person?"

"I refer to my other self in the third person too. What really gets strange is that he refers to me in the first person on occasion. I don't think you need to worry too much unless we start talking about ourselves in the second person, which you know I would never do if he was actually here. It's pretty rude. But we might occasionally slip into the 'Royal We' form of address, sort of like we're doing right now which I do apologize for in advance. It shouldn't be a problem for long."

Cain gave DG a pleading look. She shook her head. "Don't worry, I didn't understand him either." She kissed Ambrose one more time before reluctantly pulling away from his embrace.

She fidgeted again and smiled nervously. "So, this is going to work, right?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

"Yeah, but you're the advisor, right?"

"Yes. I'll say this for you, it sounds almost as crazy as something I would have come up with which means it should work marvelously, assuming half a million things don't go wrong..."

"Ambrose..."

"If it doesn't work, Glitch loves you. And if it doesn't work the other way, I love you too. And... well, if worse comes to worst, just remember that we both love you very much and that's all you need to know." He kissed her on the forehead and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Now get going before I start waxing poetical in front of Neanderthal, here."

Cain clenched his jaw to keep from saying anything.

DG smiled, but it didn't replace the worry in her eyes. "I'll see you soon..."

Ambrose's sad smile was the last thing she saw as colors began to dissolve all around her.

* * *

She took a shaky breath and wrapped her arms around herself. It was cold in the brain room after the warmth of her bedroom.

Raw sat on the floor, eyes closed, the stress of channeling three very different personalities evidently a strain on the Viewer.

Cain was the first to speak. "Kid, I don't know what you see in him."

DG sniffled. She hadn't realized that she was crying. "I didn't think I knew either. But he really is very sweet sometimes... you just have to squint your eyes and pretend a little bit to see it, but it is there. And he cares about people. He cares so much that he's afraid its going to break him so he hides it by pretending not to care about anyone. If he keeps people at a distance he doesn't have to lose them. Cain, this isn't going to work is it?"

Cain looked at her and grimaced at the fear in her wide blue eyes. He pulled her into a hug. "Whether it does or not, kiddo, Raw and I are with you every step of the way. Glitch and Ambrose will get this all sorted out. They're pretty smart guys. And Ahamo and Azkadellia are playing defense for us, so you know we have their best wishes. It will work out. Just gotta have some faith, right?"

"Yeah..."

"You have to admit though, he's kind of an ornery rat bastard."

DG hiccuped with laughter. "Yes, yes he is. I'll give you that."

"In my experience people like that are tough to kill."

"I hope so. I don't want to lose him. Either of them."

"You won't. I promise." Cain kissed the top of her hair in a paternal gesture. "Come on. You have to go get Glitch. I have to report to the Queen and lie through my teeth like a good double agent."

"Thanks for doing this."

"No problem. But if she cuts off my head when she finds out, I'm coming back to haunt you for the rest of your life."

"How about you just be careful and then we won't have to worry about it?"

"I can do that. Give my regards to the zipperhead." He patted her shoulder and left the room.

DG sat down next to Raw. "You okay?"

"Raw just resting."

"We haven't been taxing you too much, have we?"

"No. Raw fine. This over soon. Raw rest more then."

DG hugged him close before standing up and helping Raw to his feet. As they left, DG couldn't shake the feeling that somehow something horrible was going to happen. Not any more than she could ignore the soft whisper in the back of her mind.

_...I love you..._


	6. Chapter 6

Not What He Seems part 6  
by Phantaz-Magoria

A/N: Sorry this one is so short! It was unbelievably hard to start, mostly cause I haven't figured out yet what's going to happen with Glitch and Ambrose when they wake up. Input is always appreciated! You guys are the best, thank you so much for reviewing. It helps me keep writing, seriously!

* * *

"Are you sure you'll be okay, sweetheart?"

DG fought the anxiety filling her whole body with queasy tingling sensations and gave her mother a thin-lipped smile. "Yes. I'll be fine. It's just the flu, no big deal."

The Queen sat in the chair by DG's bed. "I hate to leave you when you're so ill. Ahamo, maybe we should postpone our trip for now. We don't have to leave for Central City just yet..."

"No! No, mom, really. You and Azkadellia have been planning this trip, you should go. Really."

Ahamo was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed in front of his chest. "Dear, I think DG just wants to be alone so she can get some rest."

"Yeah, mom. You're only going to be gone a few days, right? I'll be okay."

"Alright, sweetheart. If you're certain." She leaned over to kiss DG on the forehead then stood, her gown swishing around her. With a last fond look at her daughter, she held out her arm and Ahamo stepped forward to take it. The Queen paused at the doorway and looked back with a smile. "Az and I will get you something from the city at least. Sleep well, darling."

The door was shut behind them and DG let out the breath she was holding. She had to be patient a while longer, but at least she could get dressed. She crawled out of bed and tore out of her nightgown, throwing it on the floor in her haste. She grabbed her jeans, the ones she never let mother see her wear, and tugged them on, looking out the window. The royal carriage was out front, waiting to drive off. Az was standing next to it, waiting for the Queen.

DG growled in frustration. This was worse than waiting for her parents to fall asleep so she could sneak out on a school night. She finished dressing, keeping one eye out the window.

Ten minutes later, the Queen appeared below, followed by a train of servants. She was talking to some of them, standing outside the carriage.

DG bounced impatiently. What was taking so long?!

Finally, after what seemed like a life time, Az and the Queen were getting into the carriage. Ahamo waved goodbye as the carriage lurched forward and DG wasn't waiting to see anything else.

She flung open her door and sprinted down the hall towards the stairs that she knew would take her down to the basement. Her legs were burning, her heart wasn't beating right, but she had to run. Down another hall, another flight of stairs to Glitch's laboratory.

She reached the bottom of the last flight of stairs. The door ahead was shut and Cain stood outside it, a grim expression on his face.

"Hey, kid."

DG gulped a breath and started forward. "Is he...?"

"He's already out. The doc was getting antsy and had to start."

DG's eyes went wide. "They started without me?!"

"You know they need to give him as much opportunity to recover as they can and they're already pushing the time frame a bit."

DG shook her head angrily and brushed past him through the door. They had set up the room furthest back for the operation and she hurried past work benches and machines covered in sheets to get there. She opened the door with a shaking hand and took a breath to steady herself. Plastic sheets and fluorescent lights had been hung up to keep the room as sterile as possible. She pushed through the plastic sheets, holding her breath.

Glitch lay on the operating table, head held still by two thin leather straps holding his chin and forehead, his eyes glazed and staring aimlessly up at the ceiling. He was covered by a single thin white sheet, but she could see that his arms, legs, and torso had been strapped to the table with wide leather bands. A young woman was holding a cloth cup over his nose and mouth, administering some sort of anesthetic very carefully, a drop at a time, from a glass bottle. The doctor looked up from arranging his tools on the tray that stood next to the operating table.

"Good. You're here. Wash up in the tub quickly, make sure you scrub up past your elbows."

DG swallowed the lump in her throat, eyes lingering on Glitch's pale face and glassy eyes. She hurried to the wash tub and scrubbed her hands and arms.

"Why do you have him strapped down like that.?"

"Apparently he doesn't trust anesthesiologists. He had a bad reaction the first time we tried putting him under."

"He had his brain ripped out the last time he was in an operating room. I think it's understandable."

The doctor continued speaking, ignoring her glib sarcasm. "I've been studying Mr. Glitch's notes on the surgery and I don't foresee any problems. Your Highness should be able to help greatly if you can use your magic to keep him calm and healthy. Just leave the delicate stuff to me."

"I thought Raw was going to be here."

"I spoke with Mr. Raw. He'll be here as soon as the surgery is done."

"But, he's supposed to help with the healing process."

"Your Highness, magic may be your expertise, but infection is mine. There is more chance of things going badly if he's in the room, believe it or not. He will be on hand to help just as soon as we're done in here. This is nowhere near an ideal situation, but I need you to trust that I know what I'm doing. Can you do that?"

DG felt butterflies in her stomach, but she smiled and nodded as she dried her arms off with a towel.

The doctor nodded to his assistant and she disappeared behind a sheet. "Feel free to take a seat, your Highness. We're in for a long afternoon."

DG sat and took hold of one of Glitch's hands. It was cold. She looked up as the assistant returned carrying a tray with a grayish -- _with Ambrose_. DG closed her eyes, swallowing against the dryness in her throat and concentrated on light. She felt it stir in her and flow down her arms and into Glitch's hand. The doctor's voice was quiet. "Let's get started, shall we?"

* * *

DG wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there before the doctor touched her lightly on the shoulder. She must have fallen asleep, though how was beyond her. It was freezing in here and the chair hadn't been particularly comfortable. She sniffed and sat up straighter, eyes immediately falling on her friend. Glitch didn't look any different, not really, though his eyes had closed at some point, his black eyelashes stark against his impossibly pale skin. DG squeezed Glitch's hand tightly. She brushed her knuckles across his cheek. His skin was so cold!

The doctor was washing his hands again. "It is absolutely imperative that he not be moved for at least twenty four hours. To that end, I'd like you to keep the straps on. I know it's uncomfortable, but the slightest movement could cause irreparable damage. When he wakes, you may feed him some ice chips, but no water. Not until he can sit up and drink it with out choking. Tomorrow you may move him to a softer bed, but please don't go bouncing him around."

DG would have laughed if not for his stern expression.

"He'll be quite hungry, I'm sure. Have the cook prepare some beef broth for him. You may also give him warm milk with honey. If he asks for tea, he may have something light. Chamomile should be beneficial. It will help him to sleep. If he can keep food down the first day, you may try him on porridge, boiled eggs, cooked pear, dry toast... soft things that he can digest easily."

DG was worriedly trying to keep track of all these instructions. If she forgot, she was sure the cook would have some experience with invalid food and would help.

The doctor was finished washing and his assistant had cleaned his tools and was packing up.

"I will leave you a bottle of laudanum. Give him no more than a tablespoon every eight hours or so. It will help with the pain and allow him to sleep. Give him his first dose as soon as he wakes up. I will not be in the palace, as your necessity for discretion dictates, but my assistant has a room here. Forward any of your concerns to her. Jenny will keep me informed as to his progress."

The doctor was pulling on his coat. "Your Highness... I must warn you, there may be neurological side effects."

This was it. DG swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. "Yes, Glitch was telling me about some of them."

"Don't be alarmed if he seems confused or has trouble remembering things right away. It's best that he not be left alone... well, it's BEST if he have a whole month's bed rest to recover... but I understand your limitations."

DG stood as the doctor made to leave. "How can I ever repay you?"

The man shrugged. "You can't."

DG frowned. "Why not?"

"A long time ago, a poor kid from the country wanted to go to the University to become a doctor. I can't remember which Royal Advisor paid for his tuition, but you get the idea. Take good care of him, your Highness."

The doctor grabbed his bag and bowed quickly before leaving through the door. A whirlwind of efficiency, that one. Not a single movement wasted.

The assistant, Jenny, was covering Glitch with an extra thick comforter. "Don't worry, Princess. Doctor Jensen is one of the best in his field. He does very good work." She pulled a sheaf of papers out of her handbag. "Here are the doctor's instructions. I've written them down for you. I know it's a lot, but I'll be nearby if you need anything or have any questions."

"Thank you..."

Soon she had left as well, leaving DG alone with her very still Glitch. She sat back down in the chair and took his hand again. At least it was warm now.

"Hey there, Glitch. It's me. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry I wasn't here in time to see you before... I wanted to be, but my mom wouldn't leave and I had to pretend to be sick so I wouldn't have to go with. If I can trick a robot into letting me skip school on a test day with that sick act, mother didn't have a chance, right?"

She sniffled. She hadn't even realized that she'd started crying. "Just do me a favor and pull through this, okay? I don't know what I'm going to do without you. We've got another ball coming up in a month and you're the only person I can dance with who makes it look like I know what I'm doing and I'm not just some farm girl from Kansas. And you haven't finished building that mystery machine. How am I ever going to know what it is if you don't finish it?"

She tugged at a wild strand of black hair. "I need you to come back for me, Glitch. I love you." She leaned forward and kissed him as gently as she could on the cheek. "You too, Ambrose," she whispered softly.

DG looked up when she heard the door open. Cain and Raw had entered and were ducking past the plastic sheet.

"How's he doing, kid?"

"The doctor seemed to think the surgery went well. No complications. I was out for most of it. Using magic like that kinda takes it out of you."

Raw came forward to place his fingertips on Glitch's cheek. He was still for some moments before he nodded. "Glitch doing well. Raw stay while DG go eat."

"But I don't want to go..."

"Come on, kid. We both know you skipped breakfast. He won't be awake for a few hours at least. If you don't eat, I'll have to explain to the zipperhead why you're drooling on his sheets. You don't want him to worry about you, do ya?" Cain didn't even flinch at resorting to such a low blow and DG scowled at him. She stood, stretching the muscles in her back as she did.

"No. I guess not. I'll be back soon, Raw."

Raw gave her that soft smile before closing his eyes to concentrate. DG placed one last kiss on Glitch's forehead before she followed Cain out.


	7. Chapter 7

Not What He Seems part 7  
by Phantaz-Magoria

A/N: Ugh! I hate not knowing how I want a story to end! I guess, I'll just keep on keeping on until I do. Hopefully by the time I get to writing it, I'll have it figured out. In the meantime I seem to be cursed with extremely short chapters, so I combined two into one and STILL came up with something short.

* * *

DG was running down the hallway. No matter how fast she ran she knew that she wasn't running fast enough. The light streaming in from the windows was cold and misty and stung in her chest as she ran. Up ahead was the door. There stood Cain, the grim expression on his face telling her everything before he even opened his mouth.

"I'm sorry, kid. You're too late. He's gone."

"No, he can't be! No!"

She ran past him through the door to see for herself.

Glitch lay on the metal table, still and ghostly white, pools of scarlet stark against the bright silver metal under his head and on the floor where it was dripping down. His eyes, glazed and unseeing, were no longer the velvet chocolate of Glitch or even the fiery cinnamon of Ambrose. They were as black as pitch, cold and lifeless... just like him...

DG's heart lurched violently in her chest and she felt herself falling, a single word wrenched from her throat in an agonized cry.

"Glitch!"

* * *

DG woke with a gasp, sitting up straight on the cot that had been moved into Glitch's laboratory for her. Why was it that the bad dreams were always so real? She could feel wet tears on her face and her hands still trembled, but she only had to look over to know that it was all just a nightmare.

Her gaze was met with one wide brown eye rolling around the room, the white showing like a terrified horse.

"Glitch!" DG scrambled off the cot and hurried to his side, grabbing his hand tightly as she used the other to gently stroke his face. His eyes tracked her face, watching her intently as he whimpered softly. The fear she saw there made her gut lurch and she did her best to gentle him with soft cooing words and the soothing light of her magic.

"It's okay, honey, don't be scared. I'm here, you're safe. It's okay."

His breathing eventually slowed and DG smiled at him. "There, see? You're okay."

Tears had formed at the corner of his coffee brown eyes and she could see he was trying to pull at the leather straps that held him secure.

"You can't move yet, love. You've still got another few hours to go before we can move you. Then we can get you onto a nice soft bed and you'll be able to sleep better. The doctor told me that I can't bounce you around, though. I was very sorry to hear that cause you know that's the first thing I wanted to do. It's a good thing I can be patient. Did you want me to get you some more ice chips?"

Glitch strained his neck, trying to nod but finding himself unable to. He swallowed hard then opened his mouth and closed it again.

"You still can't speak?"

A look of sheer frustration crossed his features and he moaned sadly.

DG squeezed his hand. "It's alright, Glitch. Remember how we did this last time? One squeeze for yes, two squeezes for no, remember?"

Glitch's eyes looked pitiably at her before he closed them. He squeezed her hand.

"Good. Now was that yes, you remember, or yes, more ice chips?"

His eyelids fluttered open and she received the most comical look she had ever gotten from him and she smiled.

"I'm just teasing you, sweety. I'll be back in a moment."

DG wasn't gone more than thirty seconds to get the cup of ice she had ready, but Glitch was already struggling at his restraints again.

"Honey, you can't move yet. I know you want to, but you have to stay still awhile longer." She stroked his face again and took a spoonful of the ice chips. "Try not to choke on them this time." She very carefully dropped a few into his mouth. Glitch closed his eyes and chewed them slowly. He swallowed and took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out through his mouth, visibly forcing himself to relax.

"That's it. Deep easy breaths, love."

She fed him more ice chips and he smiled at her gratefully while he crunched them with his teeth. The smile soon faded into a grimace.

"I'm sorry, honey, I know it hurts. The doctor said I could give you another dose of laudanum about now if you need it."

One squeeze on the hand.

"Alright. I'll be right back."

He had already began his struggle again before she was away. She unstopped the bottle and carefully poured the thick dark liquid into a spoon. Now for the difficult part.

"We'll do this a little more carefully this time. Last time I almost drowned you in this stuff."

Glitch stopped struggling when she returned. He watched her with tearful brown eyes. His hands clenched into fists and his eyes scrunched close, lines of agony etched on his face. DG stroked his temple with her thumb. "Deep breath, Glitch. Take a deep breath and let it out."

The unshed tears Glitch had been struggling with now streamed down the side of his face. DG's own heart twisted in pain seeing him like this. "Open your eyes, Glitch. I need you to swallow this for me, can you do that?"

Glitch's eyes flew open and he gasped in pain. He breaths came fast and shallow, his chest almost quivering from the rapid succession. A low wail of pain escaped his lips, followed by gasping sobs.

"Please, Glitch. Slow it down. Nice and easy, honey. Slow breaths for me."

He whimpered softly, but struggled to please her. He held a breath, eyes closed, then let it out. One shaky breath at a time he exerted his control until he could open his eyes and look at her with a quivering smile.

"This will make it feel better, I promise."

She carefully held the spoon so she could pour the liquid into his mouth. Glitch closed his eyes, choking and coughing, but swallowing most of it. His hand flexed, reaching for her as much as he could with his restricted movement. She took his hand and he squeezed it tightly.

DG set down the spoon so she could hold his hand and stroke his face at the same time. "It worked pretty fast the last time. You should be asleep in no time at all."

He squeezed her hand once. DG brushed at the strands of hair that had found their way to his forehead. Soon she found herself humming the soft lullaby that had been passed down through her family, using her light and her love to will his pain away.

* * *

The first time Glitch remembered waking up, he was in a soft bed in a very dark room. It was just as well, for even the tiny amount of light that filtered in through the heavily shuttered curtain seemed to pierce his eyes like daggers when he looked at it. He moaned and tried to roll over away from the light, but was met with resistance. His entire body tensed with terror. His breath hitched in his throat until a soft warm hand pressed against his face and a sleepy voice drifted up to his ears.

"It's alright, Glitch. You're alright."

_DG..._

Glitch breathed a sigh of relief and moved closer to the warmth he felt. Then froze in terror from an all new sort of fear.

_DG is in my bed...? Why...? What happened last night?_

"It's okay, sweetheart. You've been having some trouble sleeping. It seemed better when I was holding you."

_Well. That's all right then, I guess..._

Glitch felt himself relaxing again.

_I'm hungry..._

"I sent down for some supper. The cook's making you some broth. I tried some, it's actually pretty tasty."

_Oh! That sounds nice... wait! Did I say that out loud?_

"You haven't spoken since the surgery. Fortunately for us both, you've got a very expressive face."

Soft lips pressed to his forehead and he sighed happily.

_Wait... surgery?_

His hand drifted up to his head and the cold metal zipper met his fingertips.

"Don't mess with that!"

Warm fingers met his own and pulled his hand down.

"They couldn't remove the zipper so you really can't be playing with it. As soon as we're certain that they won't need to go in and fix anything, they're going to superglue it shut, but we can't remove it."

_Oh... That makes sense... I guess... It would have been nice to be rid of it, you know, not have to look at it in the mirror everyday... but I guess a whole brain and a zipper is better than no brain and no zipper any day! Wait... if I've got a whole brain, why don't I feel any different...?_

"It's probably just going to take some time. They did an awful lot of tinkering around up there. When they removed your brain the first time, you had to struggle to find a new way to operate without it. This is sort of the same. You just need to readjust to being able to use it again. It'll just take some time. Central City wasn't built in a day remember?"

_Yeah. Yeah, that's true... Wait! Ambrose was supposed to be here, wasn't he? Why can't I hear Ambrose?_

"Just give it time, honey. He's probably in there, somewhere. He's just trying to get his bearings, you'll hear from him soon." He could feel her hand squeeze his tightly. "He'll be back soon, don't worry."

_I told him I hated him but I didn't mean it..._

Just then, there was a quick rapping on the door and it opened, flooding the dark room with light. Glitch gasped in pain and turned his head.

"Cain, close the door!"

The light disappeared and Glitch sighed, pressing his face against the warm body next to him.

"How's he doing?"

"He's a little more lucid now than he was the last few times."

"Good to hear. How can you tell? Is he talking yet?"

"No. But there's a light bulb behind his eyes and if you watch carefully you can see it go off. It happens a lot faster when he's coherent."

_I'm here, you know... I can hear you talking about me._

"Love, we've been talking about you all day and half the night. I'm sure Cain would probably much prefer talking TO you, but since you can't talk back yet and he can't understand Glitch-Facial-Speak, he needs an interpreter."

_If I can understand Caveman, he can understand me..._

"I don't know what that look means, but I'm sure it wasn't very nice."

"Princess, since you seem to be able to see just fine in here, could you come take this tray so I don't trip over something and drop it?"

"Sure. I'll be right back, Glitch. Don't go anywhere."

_Very funny..._

The warmth at his side moved away and the bed dipped slightly.

_Come back soon..._

He could hear footsteps across the floor and then the distinctive rattle of a metal spoon on a porcelain dish as the tray changed hands. More footsteps. The tray was set down somewhere nearby then the bed dipped again and he felt her warm hand on his arm.

"Can you sit up?"

Glitch tried, but couldn't, his face twisting in effort.

"It's alright. I'll help."

Small hands gently scooped under his arms and pulled him up. The room spun crazily for a moment, but soon enough he could feel pillows at his back and was able to lean back against them. Glitch closed his eyes and waited for his stomach to stop twirling.

"It's okay, take a moment. You've been laying flat for the last couple of days. I bet all the blood in your head is rushing down to your toes. It shouldn't last too long."

"You know, kid, you're pretty good at this sick bed gig. You ever thought of being a nurse when you grow up?"

"Not any more than I ever thought of being a princess. I guess some things just come natural. Of course, it helps if you really love the person you're taking care of."

Glitch felt his cheeks grow warm.

_I love you too, Deeg..._

Warm lips pressed briefly against his. "I know, silly." Her hand stroked his cheek and he sighed happily.

_I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you stayed with me. I wish I could tell you._

"You think you can keep some soup down?"

_Yeah... at least I THINK I can..._

"If you can't, don't worry. I've got a bucket close by just in case."

"If he has to use that, I'm leaving."

"What's wrong, Cain? Scared of a little vomit?"

"I don't like sick people."

"You don't like anybody."

"That's not true. I like you. And Raw... and the Zipperhead."

_Aww, thanks Cain. I like you too._

"He says, 'Ditto.'"

"Are you sure? I didn't hear anything."

"Did you see how his eyes wrinkled up at the corners and his ears twitched back a little? That was him saying he likes you too."

_You're very talented at that..._

"Only cause I've been practicing."

"Well, you just keep on doing that practicing thing. I'm going to leave, now... and, uh. You get better, okay Glitch? You've got a lot of us pulling for you, so just make sure you kick this thing, you hear?"

_Cain, I never knew you cared..._

"Aww, look at that, Cain. You've made him speechless."

_I'm not speechless... I just... I can't talk. Or move..._

"Give it time, love. Don't get frustrated."

He could feel warm hands placed gently across his eyes. His eyes closed involuntarily, eyelashes brushing against her skin.

"Go ahead, Cain. We'll be fine. Just shut the door behind you."

Cain made a quiet retreat and Glitch could hear the door latch close. DG removed her hands. "He actually cares about you quite a bit, but getting him to admit it is little like pulling teeth."

_Ha, yes. I remember... I'm not sure what that has to do with dentistry, though._

"That looks like a nice memory. Is it from when we were traveling together?"

_No... well, yes... it was more from when Cain and I were traveling together..._

"You'll have to tell me about it later... You're getting frustrated again. Stop it."

_You would be too..._

"You're the strongest person I know, Glitch. I don't think I could survive nearly half of the things that you have. I wouldn't be frustrated in your position, because I wouldn't have been able to make it as far as you have in the first place. Don't ever forget that."

She kissed him again.

_But... but... what if... what if this doesn't get better? What if this is permanent and I can't ever hold you again? Or kiss you or talk to you or, or, or... or anything._

"Soup! Time for some yummy yummy soup, don't you think?"

_Avoiding the question..._

"I'm not avoiding anything, I just don't want it to get cold."

His eyes had slowly grown accustomed to the darkness in here and he could see her outline as she reached over and took the soup bowl. She slurped daintily at the contents of the spoon.

"Mmm. This is really tasty. You ready for some?"

_Sure. Not as if I have much say in the matter..._

"Stop pouting. Open up."

Glitch rolled his eyes and opened his mouth. DG carefully fed him the spoonful and he swallowed it gratefully, all traces of irritation wiped from his face by the savory taste of the rich broth.

_You're right... that is yummy._

"Told you so. Have some more."

Bit by bit, she fed him the soup, and with each mouthful he felt himself relaxing more and more.

"So, is this anything like that muglug stuff you were talking about that one time?"

_Not even close._

"One of these days, you'll tell me what it's in it. Not today. Probably not tomorrow. But I'm counting on next week for sure."

_We'll see. I'm not very optimistic._

"That's a good thing, Glitch. World weary cynicism is an Ambrose trait, not a Glitch trait, so at least we know that PART of your brain is reconnecting, right?"

_Ha. Ha. Ha._

"Keep wearing that expression and I might start mistaking you for Ambrose."

_Soup, please._

"Alright, alright. Less talk, more food. I get it."

Soon enough, the soup was gone and Glitch was laying snugly again in DG's arms. His breathing had long since evened out in slumber and DG held him close, reassured by the strong heartbeat she felt under the palm of her hand.

"You'll get better. You know how I know? Because I'm the princess and you have to give me what I want, remember?" She placed a gentle kiss to the side of his face before drifting off herself into troubled dreams.


	8. Chapter 8

Not What He Seems part 8  
by Phantaz-Magoria

A/N: Well, I WAS going somewhere with this, seriously, and then creepy psycho Ambrose snuck up behind me and smacked me with a shovel. Instant sidetrack. So here we are. =) Another hard chapter to write, it started out ten different ways and then they all sort of meshed and converged at some point. If anything doesn't seem to be working right, I would love the input. Great big thanks to my buddies who keep reviewing, you keep my fingers clicking away. Hugs to you all.

* * *

"What do you mean she's coming back today?"

"Exactly what it sounds like, kid. I know you were hoping he'd have another day or two, but the runner Azkadellia sent says they're not more than six hours behind him."

DG paced back and forth, one hand pressed to her head to ward off what she was sure was going to be a migraine.

"Okay, so what are we going to do?"

"That's sort of your department, isn't it?"

"You can at least give me ideas!"

Cain was leaning against the door frame.

"Sorry, kid. Can't think of a thing."

"Finaqua!"

"Come again?"

"You and Glitch rode to Finaqua to to to... to do something! You won't be back for at least a week!"

Cain watched her silently.

DG was pacing more frantically as the idea began to take hold. "Yes! You rode to Finaqua because Glitch heard a rumor that a part of Ambrose's library survived and he left immediately with you in tow to keep him safe while he checks it out! It's brilliant!"

"That could work."

"Not COULD, Cain. It's GOING to work."

"He's not in any condition to ride, even if we took a carriage."

"That's easy. We'll just keep you and Glitch locked up in the back room of his laboratory and I'll bring you food. Simple, right?"

Cain could see that DG had an almost manic gleam to her eyes. Something told him that talking her out of this was beyond out of the question.

"Okay, kid. We'll give it a try. Let's go get the headcase."

DG was already out the door and Cain had to hurry to keep up. DG took the stairs two at a time, hurrying to her bedroom. She was already kneeling by Glitch's side when Cain got to the door.

One look at her face told him something was desperately wrong. He took a second closer look at Glitch. The man looked like he was barely breathing and his eyes stared blankly up at the ceiling.

Cain hurried forward to avoid having to meet DG's terror stricken eyes.

"Cain, what's wrong with him?"

Cain winced as he looked closer at Glitch's eyes. He didn't know much about neurology, but he could tell a drugged stupor when he saw one. "How much of that laudanum did you give him?"

"Barely a spoonful, why?"

"His pupils are constricted, breathing's shallow..." He took a wrist to check for his pulse and a familiar brown bottle slipped from Glitch's loose grasp. Cain tried to pick it up, but DG beat him to it.

"This was still half full when I left..."

"I know, kiddo."

"Cain... what..."

Cain's eyes were sad, but frank. "Princess, you left a bottle of opium alone in a room with a drug addict. It was going to happen."

"Glitch isn't a drug addict."

"Glitch isn't."

"You're saying that Ambrose..."

Cain said nothing. He stood and strode to the door and bellowed at a passing maid. He gave her quick instructions then returned to the bed. "We have to roll him onto his side."

DG helped support him as Cain rolled him over, wincing at the harsh sound of air rasping in Glitch's lungs.

"I don't understand. Why do you think Ambrose would be a drug addict?"

"Somebody invented Vapors, kiddo. Azkadellia sure as hell didn't."

The simple truth of that statement hit home like a ball of ice in her gut. "Oh, shit..."

"Yeah."

"I've never done this before. What are we going to do?"

"We're going to wait for the maid to get back with some charcoal and milk of magnesia. We're going to make him drink it, and then we're going to carry him down to the lab and you're going to stay up here to meet the Queen and Azkadellia. That's whats going to happen. Think you can handle it?"

"No... no, I don't know. I'm screwing this all up, Cain."

"You're not screwing anything up."

DG stood and backed towards the door with her hand covering her mouth and tears coming unbidden. "This is all my fault."

Cain looked up at her with his piercing blue eyes. "Don't you quit on us kid. Glitch needs you. He was strong for you, now you gotta be strong for him, got it?"

"Yeah, Cain. I got it." She took a breath and stepped forward again to hold Glitch's hand. His wide brown eyes seemed to stare straight through her and she could see his lips moving. She leaned closer to hear what he was saying.

He was mumbling words to the tune of her lullaby. "A little prince and princess are fleeing for their lives. She'll be torn to pieces when the Golden King arrives. His sister lays there dying, only he survives. Little prince and princess running for their lives..."

DG straightened quickly.

Cain was still monitoring Glitch's heartbeat. "What's he saying?"

"Something creepy. Is that maid back yet?"

Just then Glitch's entire body tensed and he arched off the bed, catching DG by surprise. Cain threw his body over Glitch's to pin him down and hold his arms to keep them from flailing.

"Grab his head, keep him from thrashing too much!"

DG crawled onto the bed and held his head in her arms as his body bucked and convulsed underneath the heavier tin man.

"What's happening to him?"

"Seizure! What's it look like?"

DG felt her jaw clench. "Well, excuse me, Mr. Sarcastic! You seem to have more experience with this than I do!"

"More than I'd like. Just hold his head till he stops shaking then grab that bucket and get it over here."

It seemed to take forever for the convulsions to stop, but it could only have been a minute or two before DG was scrambling for the bucket and Cain was hissing at her to hurry. She barely made it back in time as Cain was already holding Glitch over the side of the bed. Glitch retched and choked into the bucket and Cain held his head, looking just about everywhere else in the room but at what was going on.

"Cain, this sucks."

"You're telling me, kid."

DG sat on the floor, trying to keep Glitch's hair out of his face while Cain held him steady. "Did you love the person you had to do this for?"

"Naw. He was just a kid under my command. On one of his first patrols, some bad people got to him. Roughed him up, drugged him, left him for dead. We were able to find him, fix him back up. Took a while. He was a good kid, though. Worth the effort. Kinda like Glitch. Not saying he's a kid or anything. Not like you are." Cain's eyes twinkled mischievously and DG scowled at him. "Glitch is a good man, we're not going to let Ambrose screw him all up." Glitch chose that moment to vomit again into the bucket and Cain grimaced. "At least not any more than he already is."

"Glitch isn't screwed up. He's perfect. Sweet and funny... and kind... I just wanted him to be happy. He wanted this so much and I just wanted him to be happy. If anybody's screwed him up, it's me."

"Kid, you need to get your head on straight. I can only deal with one broken person at a time. Now, it can either be you, or it can be him."

Glitch retched again, but now, at least, he didn't have anything left in his stomach to throw up. His hand fluttered briefly against Cain's arm and Cain helped him roll onto his back. Glitch's eyes were open and starting to focus again as they looked up at Cain. He moaned softly. "Uhn..." His eyes closed and fluttered open again.

"You awake there, sunshine?"

Glitch stared up at Cain, a somewhat dreamy expression still on his face as he seemed to reconnect with the world. His voice was weak and scratchy. "Do you wear contacts? Your eyes are too impossibly beautiful to not wear contacts..."

"Hate to tell you this, sweetheart, but you're sweet talking the wrong baby blues."

DG leaned forward so he could see her, her hand automatically reaching to cup his cheek. "Glitch? Glitch, honey, is that you?"

"Who's Glitch?"

Cold painful dread clutched at DG's chest. "Hi, Ambrose." She swallowed the disappointment she felt and gave him a smile that trembled. "Do you remember me at all?"

There was confusion there behind his brown eyes.

"Should I remember you?"

Tears that had threatened earlier now began to roll down her cheeks without so much as a 'by your leave' and she looked up at Cain, searching for some hint, some clue on how to deal with this. All he offered her was a grim expression and a firm, comforting grip on her arm before he left her to deal with him.

"My name's DG. I'm your friend."

"DG..." Confusion faded into a contemptuous sneer. "DG is dead."

"No. No, I'm not. I've just been gone for a long time."

"I don't understand what you expect to gain from this hideously vile form of psychological torture, Azkadee..."

"Ambrose, I'm telling you the truth. Az isn't involved at all."

Ambrose continued to glare at her as he carefully pushed himself back on the bed into an upright position.

"You'll have to forgive my cynicism; the last three or four hallucinations all shared your opinion on the matter."

"This is real. I'm real."

"That's what Daniel said."

DG reached forward to caress his cheek again. He flinched away and grabbed her wrist in a steely grip, keeping her from touching him.

"Ambrose, what do I have to do to convince you?"

"I'm afraid that if I tell you that, it will spoil the game. I'm interested to see what you think you can come up with this time."

"Okay. Fifteen years ago, after the witch killed me, my mom brought me back to life and sent me to the other side to grow up where I would be safe. Last year, I came back and you and Cain and Raw all helped me to destroy the witch and save the O.Z. We've been putting things to right since then and one of the last things on the list was reuniting you with your body. The witch removed your brain about ten years ago and has been using it as a circuit board to run her sunseeder."

"Interesting."

"Is that all you can say? Interesting?"

"Fascinating is a word I use for the unexpected. In this case, I should think 'interesting' would suffice."

"You aren't surprised by any of that?"

"I'm not surprised that you would come up with such a trite and pathetic piece of fiction to feed me. The other witch wasn't all that imaginative either."

"Other witch?"

"That's why you're doing this, isn't it? To get revenge? Make me suffer for what I did to your sister, the Eastern Witch?"

"Ambrose?"

"I tied her to a wooden stake and set her on fire. Why don't you try sucking that memory out of my head, sorceress? I've got every detail locked away in here; the smell of her flesh melting, the time it took for her eyeballs to start dripping down her face, the sound of her bones popping. Got it all, why don't you take a look? Maybe you'd like to hear what she sounded like when she screamed for mercy? Might be a little hard to hear, I was laughing my ass off at the time."

DG slapped him, open palmed as hard as she could. Her hand stung with the force of it.

Ambrose flexed his jaw, eyes wide, fingertips just barely tracing his cheek where his pale skin was already beginning to turn a faint shade of pink. His gaze zeroed in on her face and she could see the wolf-like predator inside him calculating this new data.

He smiled, suddenly, white teeth gleaming. "Well. That IS fascinating. Alright, Princess. You've earned a chance to convince me, albeit an extremely small one. Give it your best shot."

DG blinked, suddenly uncertain. It had been very disconcerting the last time to have the full force of his attention focused entirely on her. It was nigh on nerve-wracking here in the real world without that safety net of unreality to separate them.

"Umm... well..." DG looked away, fidgeting with her hands. Cool fingertips gently pressed against her jaw bone, pulling her face back to look at him.

"You said we were friends," his voice was soft, his eyes smoldering like burnt copper. "Start there."

"Okay. I met you when I first arrived in the O.Z. Well, I met the other half of you, anyway. His name is Glitch. After the witch removed your brain, he learned to survive without you. He's, uh... He's actually quite wonderful. I didn't even know him long at all before I knew he was the best friend I was ever going to have." DG reached up to brush away a tear that was tickling down her cheek. "The one thing he wanted more than anything in the world was to get his brain back and that's when I met you for the first time. I had to talk to you about doing the surgery."

Ambrose was listening intently and DG could almost see the calculations computing behind his eyes while he watched her.

"We, uh... We've talked about a lot of things. I know that you like peach tarts and chai tea that you blend yourself. You drink it with cream and half a teaspoon of sugar. You hate things that don't make sense and not being in control scares the crap out of you. You prefer men, but you love women who don't giggle at you. I know that you turned someone blue to keep people from dusting your lab and that you hate how the Mystic Man could always beat you at chess, especially after you found out he was cheating. I know that the people you care about most are the people that you try hardest not to talk about. Leona and Siobhan and Daniel. You've mentioned them all, but you don't talk about them. You've told me that Siobhan was a lovely dancer and that Leona had red hair and green eyes and you haven't said a word about Daniel except that he was killed and Az had something to do with it."

Ambrose had stiffened considerably at the mention of those three names.

"I know that you were heartbroken when I died and you wanted to kill Az, but you didn't because of a promise you made to my mother. And I know that you were going to destroy the witch with her own sunseeder."

"None of that proves your case. All of that... all of that is information she could have ripped out of my head."

"But it isn't. The witch is dead. My sister and I melted her. We stopped her."

"I wish I could believe you, I really do, but you know what they say. The devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape and one may smile and smile and be a...'" Ambrose trailed off, his eyes becoming unfocused for a moment while a look of almost terrified confusion clouded his face. "And be a villain..." he finished weakly. He stared at DG for a long moment, searching her eyes for some sort of answer. "How could... What..." He took a slow breath and tried again. "I've just made two separate references to a book that I have never actually read. I recall the entire novel line for line and word for word, but I haven't in my life read it. How is that possible?"

"Well... first off, it isn't a novel, it's a play called Hamlet. Second... well, Glitch brought it to you to read. When you were still half a brain floating in a jar. Well, he read it himself, then when he had Raw connect him to you, he sort of transferred the knowledge over, so it was like reading... sort of. In a swap music on your buddy's flash drive sort of way. Not that you would know what that means."

Ambrose closed his eyes, face contorting in pain. He looked like he was fending off a migraine.

"That isn't possible... It doesn't make sense."

"It will make sense if you let it."

"Why don't I remember it happening?"

"You've just had massive reconstructive brain surgery. Some things take time. I told you the same thing yesterday."

"I don't remember yesterday."

"That's because it was Glitch, I guess. I told Glitch the same thing yesterday."

"Glitch is in my mind?"

"I hope so. I love him, I really don't want to lose him."

"Love him..."

"Yes, Ambrose, I love him."

"Strange..."

DG watched as Ambrose's gaze shifted and she turned to look at what he was watching. Cain was walking back through the door. She hadn't even realized he'd left. He was carrying a glass full of black liquid.

"Had to hunt the stuff down myself. Ambrose, you're going to have to swallow some of this down."

DG turned back to Ambrose who was giving her a baleful look.

"You don't honestly expect me to drink that repugnant looking concoction, do you?"

DG shrugged. "Not if you don't want to."

Cain looked like he was about to say something, but she gestured at him to drop it.

"Ambrose, could you..." DG bit her lip. "Could you answer a question for me?"

"Perhaps."

"You can't... hear him... in there, can you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Glitch. Can you hear him? I just want to know if he's alright... I mean, he was here yesterday, so he has to be in there somewhere, but... but is he okay? Can you tell?"

"I don't..." Ambrose shook his head, closed his eyes again. "I don't know... I can't..." Suddenly, he tensed up hands clutching at his head as an agonized scream tore from his throat.

"Ambrose!" DG's eyes flew wide in panic and she looked up at Cain for help. Cain hastily placed the glass on the desk, and hurried over, unsure what to do, but there just in case. Ambrose doubled forward and DG wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly as he screamed into her shoulder.

"Agh! Deeg it hurts!"

"Glitch?" DG held him tighter.

"It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!"

"I know, sweety, I know. Cain! Do something!"

"Like what!?"

"Anything!"

Glitch was sobbing uncontrollably, palms pressed to his temples as if trying to keep his head from exploding, and DG rocked him back and forth.

Cain frowned, weighing the relative merits of an option or two, then wrapped an arm around Glitch's neck, careful to keep his elbow under the man's chin to protect his trachea.

"Might wanna move back."

DG released him reluctantly and moved back on the bed. She watched Cain in a sort of helpless horror, but trusting, hoping, he knew what he was doing.

He squeezed tightly and Glitch's eyes flew wide. He opened his mouth, the crying and sobbing having been reduced to a panicked, choking, gasping sound. His hands reached up to pull uselessly at Cain's arm. It took no more than six or eight seconds for Glitch's eyes to roll up into the back of his head and for his weight to slump limply in Cain's grasp. Cain immediately released his hold and laid Glitch down.

"Lift his feet, quick!"

DG scrambled to follow his instruction, quietly freaking out as Glitch gasped and jerked like a fish flopping out of water.

"He's alright. Just get his feet."

"Alright? Alright!? What the hell did you do to him!?"

"Sleeper hold. Cut off his carotid artery, interrupted the blood flow to his brain. He'll wake up in a moment or two."

"Kind of like a soft reset on a computer, huh?" She could deal with a soft reset. The thought of Cain strangling Glitch into unconsciousness was a little too much for her right now, but if she could think of it like rebooting a computer, it didn't seem so bad.

"Don't know about computers, but I guess so." Cain slapped Glitch gently in the face, shaking him lightly until his eyes fluttered open and rolled around the room. "Hey, there. Morning, sweetheart. How you doing? You better?"

Glitch's soft brown eyes focused on Cain's and he took a shaky breath. He nodded as he let it out, closed his eyes and swallowed. He nodded again, firmer this time.

DG idly stroked a hand up and down Glitch's thigh, trying to give as much comfort as she could. "What would have been the hard reset?"

"Punch him in the face till he passed out."

"Thanks for not doing that one."

"No problem, kid. We gotta get him downstairs, though. Your mother is going to be here soon and he's in no shape at all to fool her one bit."

"What about that stuff for him to drink?"

"I don't know. This guy's got me turned all backward. Glitch obviously didn't take too well to the overdose, but Ambrose seemed just fine once he woke up. The danger to this stuff is it makes you forget to keep breathing, but he's doing that easy enough now... I'll keep an eye on him, but I think he'll be fine." He looked over at DG and she nodded. He smiled. She was still hanging in there like a trooper. He knew she would probably cry herself to sleep tonight, but she was still holding it together. He patted Glitch's face again, gentler this time. "Glitch?" Glitch opened his eyes. "We're taking you back down to your lab, now, okay? Don't try to move around too much, I'm just gonna carry you."

Cain pulled Glitch's arm up until he could hook it around his neck. He scooped his other arm under the man's knees and lifted him easily. Cain grunted in surprise as he resettled Glitch's weight, pulling him closer, like a father might hold his young boy.

"Zipperhead, you've got a serious eating disorder. Man of your height ought to be at least twenty pounds heavier."

Glitch's only reply was to wrap his other arm around Cain's neck and to shift a little to make himself more comfortable. He sighed and rested his head against Cain's shoulder and closed his eyes.

DG smiled through her tears and at the priceless expression on Cain's face. She sniffled and sobbed out a laugh. "Cain, you two look sweet together."

"Don't even start. Some days, it's like having a really big kid... you know? You just can't say 'no' to those big brown puppy eyes."

"Yeah. At least we know he's still in there, right?"

"I'll lock the door behind me when I get down there. Don't forget to bring us food."

"I won't."

"Good luck with the Queen."

"Thanks. Take care of him for me."

"Always."

DG kissed Cain on the cheek, then kissed Glitch on the forehead, lingering long enough to whisper in his ear, "I love you, Glitch. Don't forget."

Cain walked out the door and DG watched them go with a sigh, mentally preparing herself to lie through her teeth to the Queen of the O.Z.


	9. Chapter 9

Not What He Seems Part 9  
By Phantaz-magoria

A/N: Wowza! Nine chapters long already. This was only supposed to be one little one shot for crying out loud! But who's complaining? I blame you people ;) If you didn't leave so many wonderful reviews, I would be hard pressed to keep this going. Fortunately, I have some ideas for where it might be heading from here. I hope you all continue to enjoy it, if there's something I can do better, let me know!

* * *

After a harrowing week of arguing with, and lying to, her mother, DG was more than ready for this whole mess to be over. She had avoided going anywhere near the lab to see Glitch and Ambrose to avoid suspicion. Consequently she couldn't see Cain or Raw either who were staying in the lab as well to keep an eye on him. Them. If DG didn't know better, she would have sworn that she was beginning to get another headache. She knew perfectly well that she couldn't get ANOTHER headache until the first one went away and that one had been going strong since this whole affair had begun.

The week of forced separation from her three dearest friends was aggravating in and of itself, but this most recent argument with the Queen was bordering on tortuous. And it didn't help at all that while it was taking place, DG was wearing a dress. Not a fancy one. Just a pale blue cotton summer dress, with a black velvet bodice. It wasn't bad, but she always felt at a disadvantage when she dressed this way. And she could have really used every advantage she could get.

DG felt her fists clenching and she took a deep and steady breath. "Mom."

"Yes, darling?"

"How many times do I have to tell you how pointless it would be to hold a debutante ball for me?"

"Darling, I'm not sure I understand why you're being so difficult about this."

"I understand that you think it would be fun, but what's the point of these things again?"

"A debutante ball is a social dance where you may be presented officially to the court. It pronounces your status as an adult and it allows the eligible bachelors in the kingdom to present themselves to you for courtship."

"Yeah, that's where we have the problem. You see, I really don't see the point in getting their hopes up. I already know who I'm going to marry, and I don't think it's necessary to parade around a ballroom pretending otherwise."

"Dear, we've already discussed this."

"I'm marrying Glitch, mother. I'm sorry that makes you unhappy."

"DG, he's twenty annuals older than you!" The Queen took a deep breath to calm herself. "He is twice your age, dear, it would be completely inappropriate."

"Who would you have me marry, then? Since you obviously don't want me to marry who I love."

"Darling, that has nothing to do with this. Glitch is practically your brother."

"But he's not."

"I've raised him as my own child from the time he was five annuals old. To MY mind the two of you are as good as siblings."

"But we're not."

"That is quite beside the point, dear."

"No, it precisely IS the point, mother!"

DG closed her eyes and let the anger that was building up in her wash through her. If Ambrose was here, playing this game, he would have given the Queen exactly what she thought she wanted, all the while pulling her strings from the sideline without her knowing or suspecting a thing. She wasn't Ambrose and she couldn't manipulate people nearly as elegantly, but she could at least take a page from his book.

"Alright. I will concede under a condition."

The Queen smiled triumphantly. "Yes, dear, certainly. Anything you wish. This will be a wonderful thing, you'll see. There are far more men in the world than Glitch and I will happily prove it to you."

"I have certain provisions."

The smile faded. "Provisions, darling?"

"Yes. I will be more than happy to consider any suitors you might have for me, provided they meet or exceed Glitch's qualifications."

"I'm not sure I understand. What qualifications?"

"Well, he has to be handsome. That's a given. Not just any handsome, either. He has to have a smile that lights up his whole face. He has to be fearless. As brave as or braver than the Commander General of your army and you know what they say about HIM; he faced down a thirty foot giant alone and on foot. My suitor has to be brave enough to do that. And loyal. He has to be the sort of person who would look at a situation he knew to be hopeless and fight to the end by your side because giving up or saving himself aren't even concepts that he understands. He has to be willing to sacrifice everything he cherishes to keep me safe and happy."

DG smiled as she saw the expression on the Queen's face turn to anger at being cornered in such a way.

"And he has to be smart. Brilliant smart. Genius level smart. Smarter than your Chief Advisor. Because, well, I've grown accustomed to having surprisingly intellectual conversations and I'm not certain I want to give that up. And he needs a sense of humor. I want to laugh every day for the rest of my life and I need a person who can make me see the lighter side of the world. I want my husband to be funny and kind and gorgeous with a beautiful soul. Somebody who can run a kingdom and read poetry to me and who will bring me flowers and breakfast in bed. Somebody who loves me for me and not my crown."

The Queen's lavender eyes had turned as sharp as daggers, but DG continued. "And speaking of crowns, let's not forget pedigree. Glitch was the Duke of Agincourt in this kingdom. In his own kingdom, he was a prince, right? The son of the King of the Silver Islands? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not REALLY expecting a king or a prince or anything. But a duke at least, I think, would be good. If you can find me an eligible suitor who possesses all of these qualities, I will be more than pleased to consider him."

"Darling, you know perfectly well that such a man doesn't exist."

"Really? That's a shame. I've thought an awful lot about this and that's what I want... Oh, well! I guess, in that case, I might just have to be content with my Glitch."

She turned on her heel and strode for the door, adrenaline pumping through her veins from standing up to the most powerful person in the realm, even if it was her own mother. DG stopped at the door and shot her mother a last wicked smile.

"Oh, and if this suitor of yours isn't even at least a moderately good kisser, the whole deal's off."

She ducked out the door without waiting for the Queen's horrified reaction and put a hand to her mouth to keep from snickering. She couldn't believe her own nerve! Where in the world had any of that even come from? It must have been the stress of the week catching up to her, the stress of not knowing how Glitch was doing, the stress of not talking things over with her friends. It suddenly came to her how to solve all her problems, and she was just fired up enough to not care about consequences just now.

She was still careful to make sure nobody saw her ducking down the stairway to the basement and double checked before she entered the lab.

She found Cain and Raw sitting at a table just outside of the back room playing cards. Raw looked morose. Cain had a stony expression as he laid a two of clubs on the table. Raw winced and shuffled his hand. Neither of them looked up as she approached.

"Kid, you might want to reconsider going in there just now."

"Why? What's wrong?"

Raw laid down a three of spades.

"Ambrose grouchy. Glitch unhappy. Both angry."

Cain placed a four of clubs on the table.

"They're having a tiff. Or a spat... whatever it is you women call it."

DG bristled. "I haven't seen Glitch in a week and if you think that a moody Ambrose is going to scare me off, Cain..."

Cain shrugged noncommittally. "Hey, it's your funeral."

DG rolled her eyes. If Ambrose was going to be grouchy, well he could see just how grouchy DG could get. She walked through the door and closed it behind her.

The room bore no resemblance to the operating room from last week. The plastic sheets had all gone. The fluorescent lights had been replaced by the much softer glow of hanging lamps. Glitch's large granite drafting table had been moved back in, accompanied by an equally large oak desk. A queen size bed with unmade blankets took up most of the center of the room and the heavy ropes attached to its corners from the ceiling gave it a look similar to a four poster bed. Ambrose was frantically pacing around the room, randomly kicking things out of his way. He was dressed in a style that wasn't exactly Glitch, but not exactly Ambrose either. He was wearing brown silk pants and a white dress shirt with sleeves rolled up past his elbows. Over that, he wore a purple vest with silver embroidery. Both the vest and the shirt were unbuttoned and hanging open, revealing a sleeveless white undershirt beneath. He wasn't saying anything, just storming back and forth, gesturing frantically with his right hand and drumming his fingers against his thigh with his left. Finally he stopped at the desk and grabbed a pen with his left hand and began writing furiously.

He obviously hadn't seen her yet and DG cleared her throat loudly.

Ambrose looked up. The expression on his face said, 'Oh, it's you,' but he still didn't say a word. He crumpled the paper up and threw it over his shoulder as he straightened to his full height, then bowed slightly at the waist.

"Hi, Ambrose."

He straightened again and raised his eyebrows, giving her a look that said, 'Tell me what you want so I can get it for you and you can go away.'

"I came to see Glitch."

Ambrose scoffed and rolled his eyes, the look on his face saying, 'Typical.'

DG placed her hands on her hips and glared for all she was worth

"There a reason you're giving me the silent treatment here?"

Ambrose shrugged and shook his head.

"Why don't you drop the speechless act. I know you can talk, I heard you do it."

Ambrose frowned then grabbed a pen and a fresh sheet of paper. He wrote with his left hand that careful neat script that she had only seen in his mind. He straightened and gestured for her to read what he'd written.

'_Capacity for speech has no bearing on the capability of utilizing the ability_.'

He set the pen down before grabbing it quickly with his right hand and scrawling, 'ITS CYCLE-SYMBOLIC'

The pen was daintily plucked out of the right hand by the left one.

'_Psycho-semantic, idiot_.'

DG blinked. Then blinked again. She really shouldn't be surprised. Weird was a fact of existence these days. So her true love and his alter ego were pulling a Jekyll and Hyde act and taking the time to actually write it out on paper. Why should that be any stranger than any thing else that had been going on lately?

"Ambrose, would you mind saying that in layman's terms for me?"

Ambrose wrote astonishingly quickly. '_It means that we are in the middle of a rather violent munchkin-like turf war regarding which of us has priority over certain functions that should normally be at our disposal. However, we seem to be at an impasse and since neither of us is willing to give ground to the other... well, you flick the abacus._'

"That's a Glitch, saying. You're not allowed to use that one."

'_Glitch doesn't even own an abacus._'

"Be that as it may, it's one of things that made me fall in love with Glitch, not you, therefore I claim it on his behalf."

Ambrose pursed his lips, thinking, looking for all the world like he was making a conscious effort to not grind his teeth.

'_I really don't think you have any bearing on any sort of argument between myself and I should we choose to have one_.'

If he had written any faster or with stronger strokes, DG was sure the friction alone would cause the pen to burst into flames.

"As the fiancee of the man you're arguing with I have every bearing on what you say to him and I will defend him like a mother bear with a cub, so don't try me mister."

The stunned and mildly affronted expression on Ambrose's face was priceless. '_You're -_ ' He scribbled out the word and started again._ 'We're engaged? When the hell did that happen? And when were you planning on telling me_?'

"It happened while you were still floating around in that vat of boiled down Gatorade. And, well... I've just told you now, haven't I? It would have happened sooner if you hadn't been trying to kill yourself like an over hormonal drama queen."

Ambrose narrowed his eyes.

'_I wasn't trying to kill myself. What gave you that silly impression_?'

"Don't even try to tell me that you don't have a 'My life sucks, kill me now' streak about a million miles wide. Oh, wait! Maybe it was that stupid stunt you pulled when you overdosed on narcotics last week!"

'_That was a mistake_.'

"You don't make mistakes, Ambrose. Or are you trying to tell me that it was Glitch that downed half a bottle of laudanum?"

'_It's a simple explanation really. I had built up a tolerance to opium. Glitch has lost that tolerance. A dose strong enough to make me sleep for an hour or two is enough to knock Glitch on his ass and float him high enough to see through time. Entirely accidental_.'

His right hand grabbed for the pen and began scrawling in messy letters, 'ACCIDENTAL! HA! JUST LIKE THE DRINKING AND SMOKING AND ALL THE OTHER STUFF YOU DID TO OUR BODY WHEN YOU HAD IT.'

Ambrose looked about ready to murder something as he carefully took the pen in his left hand again. '_I kept our body in much better condition than you have. I have never in my life felt like such a disgustingly flabby slug than I did when I woke up today._'

'I AM NOT A SLUG, I AM AS WRITHE AS A BELLY DANCER, THANK YOU'

'_The word you are failing miserably to conjure out of that swiss-cheese mentality of yours is lithe, you retarded ignoramus_.'

'FINE, I'M AS LITHE AS A BELLY DANCER THEN'

'_A belly dancer called Beluga, perhaps. We can't even touch our toes anymore. I used to be able to do that while bending over backwards_.'

'AT LEAST I CAN RUN A MILE WITHOUT MY LUNGS GIVING OUT'

'_Nice try. I can run ten. I don't imagine anyone's told you how obnoxious it is to write in all capital letters, have they_?'

DG couldn't take any more of the frantic scribbling back and forth. "Boys! Stop fighting this instant! Glitch, YOU at least know better, and Ambrose, I would expect more from you."

Glitch looked ashamed of himself briefly before Ambrose took over with a defiant glare of superiority. Ambrose straightened and made a point of setting the pen down on the desk and backing away with his hands clasped behind his back. He looked at DG, slowly raking his gaze up and down, seeming to examine and catalog every inch of her from the top of her head to the laces on her sneakers.

"I refuse to read another word EITHER of you has to say, you will solve this speech issue right this instant."

Glitch looked about ready to say something, but broke off coughing. Ambrose also made an attempt, but with similar failed results.

"You two are impossible, you know that? I came to speak to Glitch. Ambrose, you will allow him to speak. I give you my word on his behalf that he will allow you your turn as well. Is that clear to both of you?"

Hot cinnamon eyes bore into hers before his head nodded once in acquiescence. When he looked up it was with Glitch's warm chocolate eyes and a look of such aggravated relief on his face that DG had to struggle to keep her stern expression.

"Oh, Deeg! Thank the stars! It's been so horrible!" He strode forward quickly and grabbed her in a tight hug. DG felt herself melting into relaxation almost instantly in his arms. Stern expression lost, she laughed and kissed his cheek.

"Glitch, you have no idea how much I've missed you."

She pulled back a little so she could look at him, only to have him press his lips to hers in an exuberant, if somewhat less than elegant kiss. She found herself smiling and openeing up to him so he could deepen the kiss. She was happy to let him. Glitch always seemed to taste like caramel and apples.

He picked her up and spun her around, holding her tight as if he was a drowning man clutching at a life preserver. He set her down and kissed her again. "I love you, love, love, love, love, love you and I don't ever want to let you go ever again!"

DG giggled and settled her head against the crook of his shoulder, smiling happily. "I was so afraid I wasn't going to see you again."

Glitch turned his face to whisper against her hair, "I'll always come back to you, Deeg. No matter what." He held her close, swaying slowly from side to side in a simple two step dance to music only he could hear. After so much practice with him, DG could almost hear the music as well, at least enough to follow along with him.

"So what's it like? Living with Ambrose, I mean."

Glitch whined. "It's horrible. I hate him."

"He can't be that bad, can he?"

"He's worse! He's all completely about calculations and equations and every time someone walks into the room, I can't just look up and say, 'Hey! That's my friend, Cain! It's awfuly nice to see him!' Ambrose takes over and does this thing he calls a 'Threat Matrix.' He figures out the probability of any sort of attack, breaks it down into percentages, then plans out a reaction to every single eventuality that could possibly happen. I can't look at a person without thinking of at least seventeen different ways to kill them! I don't want to kill anybody, Deeg, least of all the people that I love. I don't like this at all, not one bit."

DG held him tighter. "My poor Glitch... Did you ask him to stop?"

"He won't listen to me, he thinks I'm stupid."

"I'm sure he doesn't think that."

Glitch fell silent and pressed his face into her hair.

"Glitch?"

"I don't want to talk about him anymore. How has your week been?"

"It's been just as horrible as yours. I've wanted to come down here and see you every day, but I'm terrified that somebody's going to follow me and the game will be up. I hate lying to my mom, and she won't get off this kick she's on about some sort of debutante ball."

"Balls are a lot of fun, though. Everybody dancing in beautiful clothes, the music, the food. I like balls. I'll dance with you, if you'd like. Would that make it better?"

"That's just the problem. Mom doesn't want me to dance with you. She wants me to dance with every other eligible bachelor in this stupid kingdom. She wants to present me like a prized mare put out to stud."

Glitch chuckled and spun her again and she felt herself smiling. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because stallions are put out to stud. Mares brood." He grinned at her mischievously, his warm eyes sparkling. "Unless there's something about you that you haven't told me, I don't think Her Majesty has any plans on putting you out to stud, doll."

"Goofball." DG wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head close for another kiss. "You know what I meant."

"I know. I also know that no matter how many people you dance with, you'll come back to me." He ducked his head. "Unless you find somebody you like better, I guess. But I would understand if you did, really. You don't need to feel obligated."

"Glitch!"

"Hmm?" He wasn't meeting her eyes at all and DG leaned up on her toes and kissed him. Then she bit down on his bottom lip, not hard, just enough to cause him to yelp and pull away from her. "What was that for?"

"That's for letting such a silly thought get into your head. Now you listen to me, Glitch, cause I'm going to repeat this until you understand it, and then I'm going to repeat it more until you believe it. In fact, I'm going to say it so many times that you're going to think that I'm the one who's glitching."

Glitch still wasn't meeting her eyes. She stroked her fingers across his face and his beautiful toffee eyes looked at her uncertainly.

"Are you listening to me?"

His tongue darted out across his bottom lip where she had bit him. He nodded.

"Good. I love you. I don't love anyone else and I'm never going to. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you."

He smiled sadly and brushed the backs of his fingers across her cheeks and through her hair. "You say that now... I'm afraid that one of these days, you're going to look at me and see an old man."

"You're wrong. I will look at you and see the man that I have spent a lifetime cherishing with all my heart. And maybe by the time you ARE an old man, I'll be able to look at you and see the father of my children. Maybe even the grandfather of their children."

"You can see all that just by looking at me?"

"Yes, especially when you smile wide enough for me to see your dimples."

Yup, that smile right there. Glitch was giggling. "Are you trying to tell me that you can see the future in my dimples? You're starting to sound as silly as I do!" He kissed her on the forehead, on each eyebrow, then tenderly on the lips. She ran her hands slowly up the back of his head, fingernails just lightly scratching at his scalp. He moaned softly into her mouth and when she opened her eyes, she could see that he had gone just a little cross-eyed. It was one of those wonderful kisses that seemed to go on forever.

All of a sudden, though, something was different. Something had changed... It was very subtle, whatever it was. She couldn't quite put her finger on it. Then with realization, she broke the kiss and stepped backwards.

"Hello, Ambrose."

He clasped his hands behind his back, putting some distance between them, and bowed his head slightly. "Your Highness." His smile was faint, but there. "How did you know it was me?"

"You kiss differently." She straightened her shirt, not entirely liking the idea that she could start kissing one of them and end up with the other. It might just take time to get used to. It wasn't that she disliked kissing Ambrose, but she had been enjoying her time with Glitch and she wasn't quite prepared to forgive Ambrose yet.

"Truly?" He seemed very intrigued. "That's rather interesting. How so?"

"Glitch was completely enjoying the moment. You started thinking about friction and angles almost the moment you showed up."

Ambrose seemed to compute the data with just the faintest trace of a smile at the edge of his lips. He was amused and trying to hide it. "An astute observation. What makes you think that?"

"Because if anybody in the history of mankind would ever set about to develop a formula for kissing, it would be you, accompanied by a fifty page technical manual, I'm sure."

Ambrose grinned, all pretenses dropped. "I'm not that bad. I get close at times, that I'll grant you. But I would endeavor to keep it down to a ten page leaflet. Twelve at most."

"You can try to be charming all you want, but it doesn't excuse you interrupting our conversation."

"Conversation? Is THAT what they call it these days?" Brown eyes twinkled knowingly.

"Only in some parts of the world. You got a reason for jumping in?" She wasn't going to let him get the best of her.

"What? Aside from the fact that you two love birds and your disgustingly sweet lovey-dovey stuff practically sent me into a hyperglycemic coma? There are no words to describe how diabetic I've become in the last five minutes."

DG smiled a little bit. "So you sneak in on a kiss to make us stop?"

"That was all Glitch's fault. Apparently you were doing something he thought was very nice because his synapses misfired completely and just like that, here I am standing in for him while he figuratively hides in a corner and dumps a bucket of ice water down his pants."

"Ah... I see."

"Not that I can really blame him. You are beyond worthy of suffering the cold shower treatment for, and if I had to guess, this is pure speculation mind you, but I honestly think that he hasn't had sex since the last time that I did and that was a lamentably long time ago."

DG let out a surprised giggle, then clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle any more of the treacherous laughter. "I can't believe you just said that!"

Ambrose smiled, hot copper eyes twinkling. "I've been trying for days to seduce that hot as sin Tin Man of yours. He's managed to resist me so far, but it doesn't stop a fellow dreaming."

"You've been making passes at Cain? Wow. No wonder he's staying outside. He's probably afraid you're going to jump his bones and he doesn't trust Raw to protect his manly virtue."

"You cannot possibly blame ME for that. Those trousers of his... Sweet Glinda, they're positively lascivious."

Ambrose ran a hand over his hair and DG could see it trembling.

"You doing alright?"

"Who? Me? Fine. I'm fine."

"Liar."

He gave her a sweet smile. "I'm jonsing for a cigarette, I could really use a tall glass of scotch like it's not even funny and I haven't had a good old fashioned roll in the hay in close to fifteen annuals and now you have me thinking about those damned pants and your shampoo is practically WAFTING in my direction. I'm doing tolerably well under the circumstances and by that, I mean barely stable."

DG laughed. "Poor guy. I'd offer to give you a hug, but I'm not sure it would help."

"Oh, gods! Don't, please. You're agonizing enough from five feet away. Any closer and we might both find ourselves on the floor."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

Ambrose nearly choked. He would have if he'd been drinking anything. DG grinned wolfishly. Sometimes she liked saying things just to get that reaction from him. He gave her an affronted look. "We're not married. Or you're not married... whichever it is."

"I'm shocked, Ambrose. I didn't think a detail like that would be important to you."

"You're the Princess. You of all people are not allowed to engage in scandalous and torrid affairs on the basement floor."

"It's not a basement floor, it's a laboratory floor."

"As if that makes it better!"

DG smiled at him, then turned thoughtful.

"Here's a question for you, just out of curiosity. How do you feel about being older than me?"

The question caught Ambrose off guard and he gave her the queerest look she'd ever seen. "I'm not old. What makes you think I'm old?"

"Something my mother said about you being twice my age. It's not even something that I care about, really. I was just wondering what you thought."

"Honey doll, I'm an advisor. I spend so much time thinking for other people that I try not to do it too terribly much for myself."

"Alright, advisor. Advise me. The Queen doesn't want her twenty year old princess marrying a forty year old headcase. Thoughts on the subject?"

"Well, if you're asking for some practical advice..." Ambrose folded his arms across his chest as he looked at the ceiling. "Age difference between two people has primarily to do with personality and life experience. In that context, TECHNICALLY, I'm only thirty. Ten annuals in a glass jar does not add to your life experience. I existed, but gained no insight, no maturity. I'm essentially the same as I was on the day I got carved up and served on a platter." Ambrose grinned. "Glitch, on the other hand, has only been around for ten annuals. That's all the life experience he's accumulated. So... Me thirty, him ten. Average us together and you and I are about the same age. Technically."

"Brilliant side step, but I don't think that's what the issue is."

"If physical age is what you're getting at, I'll have you know that it is a proven medicinal fact that if you never slow down, you never grow old. It also seems to be the case that mean cantankerous old people take forever to die and only the good die young. Given those three constants, I expect I'll live forever. A lot longer than you in any case."

DG pursed her lips. "Why do I get the feeling that you're teasing me again?"

Ambrose shrugged. "Maybe it's because you know me too well."

"I hate you. You know that, right? I know I keep saying it... but I really mean it this time."

Ambrose smiled softly and shook his head. "You don't hate me, kitten. But, if all you want to do is get your mother off your back, you might casually mention that as far as appropriate husbands are concerned... well, I finished all of my years at school, I'm not dyslexic, AND I don't have the dubious distinction of having escaped from a circus. Though, please, whatever you do, don't mention those first two in front of your father."

"Why not?"

"It would hurt his feelings, I think. He might get a laugh out of the last one, but he's a bit sensitive about the others."

"Well, that's kind of a silly thing to be sensitive about. Lots of people back home drop out of school. And you can't help being dyslexic, right?"

Ambrose gave her a considering look. "I'll let you in on a secret. Ahamo never thought he deserved your mother. He fell out of the sky in a runaway flying balloon and the first person he set eyes on in this strange place across the desert and over the rainbow was a fairy princess who fell absolutely head over heels in love with him. He never could justify it with himself, never could get his head around the thought that something that wonderful could happen to a guy like him and has always felt like a bit of a fraud for it. But your father's a good man. I would never do anything to hurt him directly. I'm not above a few self-defensive catty remarks towards the Queen, but Ahamo has always been kind to me, so don't you dare tell him I told you those things, alright?"

"My mother isn't a bad person, either."

"Well, no. She's a very good person. She just irritates me some times." Ambrose sighed when he saw the look on her face. "Kitten, I was prepared to hate her forever and a day for letting you die. And now you're not dead. Now I have nothing to hate her for, but it was such a very strong and very deeply seated emotion for such a long time... Believe me when I say that I WILL forgive her, it's just going to take me a little bit longer. I'm working on it, though. I know you don't like me being angry at her, so I'm doing my best to sort it out."

The look on his face was so sincere with just the ghost of tormenting memories behind his eyes that DG felt her heart skip a beat. "You know what, Ambrose? I came down here for a hug, and I don't care if it makes you uncomfortable, I'm getting my hug, dammit!"

DG strode forward with two quick steps and grabbed Ambrose around the waist. His entire body seemed to tense up and he didn't seem to know what to do with his hands at first. He balled them up into fists, but after a second forced himself to relax. His fingers fluttered momentarily before he wrapped his arms around DG and held her close, breathing in a deep lungful of the scent of her hair. DG could feel his body trembling while his hands began to slowly rub circles up and down her back.

He leaned his head against hers and whispered into her hair, "You smell so much more entrancing than I could ever have imagined."

DG tilted her head up to look at him and he caught her lips in a kiss. It was warm and soft and sweet, and he still tasted like caramel apples. DG had half expected that Ambrose's kisses would be chai flavored, that maybe it wasn't just their eyes that changed color when they switched back and forth. But now that she knew for certain, it seemed like such a silly thought. He couldn't taste like chai tea if he hadn't been drinking any. She pressed herself fully against him and rose up on the tips of her toes so she could deepen their kiss.

Ambrose groaned and shivered. He broke the kiss and growled softly as he lifted her up so he could carry her over to the desk. He held her with one arm while he used the other to swipe the clutter atop it onto the floor before he set her down. His strong hands held her firmly by the sides and he kissed her again, greedy and passionate. One hand reached up to card his fingers through her silky black hair.

His breath caught in his throat when her fingers slid under the hem of his undershirt and ghosted over the sensitive flesh of his belly and he turned his head away from her, squeezing his eyes shut as hard as he could. His breathing was a little off kilter and he concentrated on getting it back under control even as her fingers did tantalizing things to his skin and every nerve ending seemed to be caught in an electrical current of pleasure.

Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and looked at her. Her blue eyes were wide and watching him expectantly and he couldn't help a small laugh escaping as he pressed his lips to her temple and whispered, "This is a very bad idea, kitten."

DG huffed a sigh and nodded reluctantly. "Yeah. Very bad idea."

"You and Glitch are getting married soon." The hand at her side had slowly slid down over her hip to rub gently against the outside of her thigh.

"Yes. Yes, we are."

"I would just be taking advantage of you."

"Yes, you would be."

"And anyone could walk in on us."

"Yup. This is practically a main thoroughfare. People in and out all the time."

"...in and out... Aw, hell."

He kissed her again and wrapped his arms around her to pull her against him.

Just then, a loud buzzing sound filled the room and a red light hanging in a corner of the ceiling began to flash. Ambrose looked up, an expression of startled annoyance crossing his face briefly. "We've got company."

He stepped away from her quickly and DG slid off the desk. "Company? Someone other than Cain and Raw?"

"Yes." He was quickly pulling some travel packs out of a corner and setting them in the middle of the floor. He pulled on a rope and the full size bed that he had been sleeping on the past week was lifted off the ground by pulleys until it disappeared high above in the ceiling.

"That's a neat trick."

Ambrose flashed her a smile as he looked around the room, buttoning the middle buttons of his shirt. "Oh! Coat!"

DG had already grabbed Glitch's brown and gold tasseled coat off the back of a chair and tossed it to him. He twisted around, struggling into it in lightning speed, only just managing to get it on when there was a soft knock on the door and it opened to reveal the Queen of the O.Z. herself.

"Mom! Hi!" DG struggled to look innocent.

Ambrose stepped forward with a self deprecating smile, looking very much like Glitch.

"Your Majesty! Wh-what brings you down here?"

The Queen smiled softly, glancing from her daughter to Glitch and back. "A servant told me that DG had come down here. I assumed it meant that you might have returned from your trip. I was anxious to see you again, old friend."

Glitch laughed, brown eyes twinkling. "Well! I was anxious to be back! Cain's a bit of a cattle driver when he travels. I'm exhausted!"

The Queen nodded, still smiling gently. "Did you have any luck?"

Glitch's face went blank. "Luck? Luck with what?" He looked to DG for clarification.

Her eyes were wide and she didn't dare face her mother.

"With Ambrose's library. Someone said they might have found it while they were rebuilding a section of the palace at Finaqua."

"Oh!" Glitch's face lit up again. "That! Yes, well. No. No, we didn't find anything like that there... But the trees have started growing back and they have the most wonderful apples there! Even if the trees are pretty rude, there's nothing that beats a good apple..." He trailed off with a dreamy expression on his face. "Except apple pie! We should have apple pie for dinner tonight!"

DG grinned, some of the dread that had settled in the pit of her stomach easing just a bit. "Anything you want, Glitch."

The Queen nodded. "Indeed, I must speak to the cook about it. I'm sorry that your trip did not go as planned, but I am happy to see that you enjoyed it regardless."

"Mm. It's nice to get out and travel once in a while. See the world... breathe the fresh air... breathe the fresh air... breathe the fresh air..."

"Glitch." DG put a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh! Sorry! Umm, was there something you wanted? I think I've forgotten." His face was a mask of worried confusion.

The Queen placed a hand gently on his arm. "Don't trouble yourself, dear. I came to see you because DG and I are planning a ball in her honor and I would be delighted to have your input on the affair."

"A ball! How fantastic! What sort of ball?"

The Queen glanced at DG momentarily. "A debutante ball."

"Oh, my, won't that be wonderful? All the young ladies dancing... we haven't had one of those in ages!"

"It's nice to know that somebody is excited." The Queen gently twined her arm through his, pulling him into step beside her as she walked back towards the door. "What sort of color scheme do you think?"

"Umm... Black?"

DG felt the color drain from her face. The Queen's eyes narrowed and she examined Glitch more closely.

Glitch's face wavered between panicked and confused for a second before he continued, "W-w-with peridot and, and, and cornflower, I think. Maybe some buttercup yellow and rose-hips pink? You see, I've been thinking, and it was just the other day, too, that when people decorate with pastels they always put them against a white background and it always leaves them washed out, really sort of dull, you know? BUT! If you put them against something REALLY contrasting, like black, it would really bring out the color and make them vibrant, like... like... stars twinkling in the night sky! Can you imagine how gorgeous a ballroom would be if it was filled with stars dancing in a night sky?"

"No." The polite smile was back again. "No, I certainly cannot say that I can imagine such a thing, but if you say so, it must be true."

"Oh, yes! Absolutely gorgeous!" Glitch grinned wide, giving his absolute best 'innocent puppy' face.

The Queen smiled, then looked at her daughter and sighed. "DG, darling, would you mind excusing us? I should like to speak with Glitch in private."

DG frowned, then shook herself out of her shock. "Yeah, sure. No problem." She couldn't help but look at Glitch, hoping for some sign that everything would be okay. A cinnamon colored eye winked at her accompanied by Glitch's wide care free smile.

Everything would be okay. Somehow they would pull this off. They could argue like cats and dogs, but working together they could pull this off and the Queen wouldn't know that her orders were disobeyed. She would go on thinking that Ambrose was safely tucked away in a room where he would quietly collect dust and be forgotten. She wouldn't find out that she had been horribly deceived by the people closest to her. She wouldn't know that the surgery had happened almost right under her very nose.

Glitch and Ambrose would make this work. DG smiled a thin, sickly smile, fear and worry gnawing away at her inside. "I'll see you later, Glitch."

He waved at her. "Bye, Deeg! I'll see you at dinner!"

"Oh, and mom? I just wanted to say... I'm sorry we argued earlier. I don't know what came over me."

The Queen merely nodded. "Shut the door behind you, dear."

DG did. She felt it click shut and suddenly she wanted to find a quiet, cool place to be wretchedly sick. She jumped practically two feet in the air when Cain and Raw appeared almost out of nowhere. "Where have -"

Cain put a finger to his lips and shook his head. DG nodded and the three of them silently left the laboratory, not speaking until they were climbing the stairs out of the basement.

"Where were you two?"

"Sorry, kid. Glitch might come down to his lab after a long trip away, but Raw and I wouldn't. Tried to give you as much warning as we could before we ducked for cover."

"Yeah. That was good thinking. I wasn't trying to sound like I was accusing you of anything. I guess I'm just a little shaky."

And she was. Her hands were trembling and she couldn't make them stop. They'd reached the top of the stairs. Raw put a hand on DG's shoulder and offered her his most serene smile.

"Glitch be okay. Ambrose too."

"Fuzzball's right, kid. Even on his worst day, I bet you Ambrose has some silver-tongued magic in him that you couldn't pay to see in Central City. And Glitch, hell, he can dance his way out of anything. They'll get through this."

"Yeah, except if they don't, I've just gotten my future husband executed for treason."

"I don't think it will be that bad."

"You don't know, Cain. Something went so wrong between my mother and him. You can hear it when they talk about each other. I don't know how she would react. I want to believe that she wouldn't..." A tear fell from her eye and she gulped in a breath. Raw took her in his arms and hugged her, humming softly to calm her. Cain wrapped an arm around her from the other side and she found herself sandwiched between the two.

"Kiddo, they were going to have to see the Queen sometime or another. Best to get it over and done with."

"You're right, Cain. I just wish I knew what they were talking about!"

"You'll find out soon. But I could use a hot cup of coffee. Don't think it will do much for your nerves, but it'll keep you distracted while we wait."

DG nodded stiffly and the three of them made their way silently to the kitchens.


	10. Chapter 10

Not What He Seems Part 10  
By Phantaz-magoria

A/N: Sorry about the long wait! The more characters I have in a scene, the longer it takes me to write and this one tops out at five! It's not as long as it should be, for which I am terribly sorry for, but it does have a cute moment or two to make up for it. Also, I think I just noticed that I forgot to give credit to a source of one of my tangents. I was reading The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Thompson a couple months ago and in that book, the Scarecrow goes to find his family tree and slides down the bean pole where he was found originally to discover a kingdom called the Silver Islands and that he was the Emperor Chang Wang Woe who was reincarnated as a Scarecrocus. If anybody was ever wondering where in the world that whole thing came from, now you know =) In the book, though, the Silver Islanders were Chinese. Mine are sort of Romanian Gypsy-ish. It might come up again, you never know ;) Thanks for reading, hope you all enjoy! And as always thank you thank you thank you all so much for reviewing! It makes me happy =)

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DG, Raw and Cain sat at a large table in a private alcove of a dining room just to the side of the kitchen. Cain and DG were slowly drinking their coffee; it must have been their fourth pot of the stuff. Raw drank milk. Not a word had been spoken between the three of them for the last hour. Cain and Raw had given up trying to distract the princess, and she had given up trying to pretend that she wasn't consumed with worry.

Seconds ticked by like hours and DG stared unhappily into the cooling liquid at the bottom of her cup.

All three looked up at the clattering noise and angry shouting of the head cook, a formidable large black woman that everyone called Miss Sophy. As far as anyone knew, she had been the head chef for the royal family for as long as there had been a royal family. Anyone who had ever asked her how long she'd been there had swiftly been cracked on the head with a sturdy wooden spoon.

Suddenly from around the corner came Glitch at a dead run. He dropped to his knees in what could only be called a rock and roll power slide that took him skidding under the table mere seconds before Miss Sophy came into view.

"Ambrose Agincourt! Don't think I didn't see you stealing tarts out of my kitchen!"

She had the spoon ready and a fiery gleam in her eyes.

Cain didn't even look surprised. He just gestured with his coffee cup. "He went that way, Ma'am."

She gave Cain a glare that suggested if she couldn't find her intended prey she'd be back for his hide before the day was out. She continued on her prowl and was scarcely gone when Ambrose poked his head up from behind the other side of the table, half a peach tart still clutched in his teeth. He smiled, looking for all the world like the cat that caught the canary as he stood and finished his pastry. He pulled out a chair and flipped his coat tails out of the way before he sat down as proper as any courtier. He reached for the coffee pot with his left hand and began pouring himself a cup while he sucked the crumbs off his right hand.

DG stole a quick peek around the corner to make sure the coast was clear for him. Then she mustered up the strongest disapproving glare she could and trained it on Glitch.

"Ambrose! What is the matter with you?!"

He frowned quizzically at her. "What makes you think it's me and not, well, me?"

"Glitch likes to steal apple pies, NOT peach tarts. Apparently Miss Sophy remembers that too."

Ambrose nodded, sagely considering her words with a somewhat pensive sigh. "Point. I need to start making a list of things that he does differently. Pretending to be Glitch might be a little more complicated than I originally estimated."

"You can fix that, you know. You could let him be himself."

"Kitten, I don't think you quite understand how chaotic our life is right now. My memories of Toccata and Fugue and the Danse Macabre are slowly being over taken by The Song That Doesn't End and the Hamster Dance. Don't ask me where he learned THOSE triumphs of musical genius, I don't know nor do I particularly care, but they've been on alternating repeat for the last three days and I am going to shoot my eyeball out with a Pez dispenser if I don't get a cigarette soon."

He added a few teaspoons of sugar to his coffee and stirred.

DG looked skeptical. "Where in the world could he have picked those up from?"

"If I had to hazard a guess, I would say that he picked them up from the dark recesses of my mind where I throw all sorts of useless junk and I, lucky lucky me, picked it up from you when Fuzzy had you hooked up to my brain. There was a lot of random tidbits and knick-knacks that got stuck up there because of you and he's obviously dug them out to drive me insane... Beyond that, I am absolutely terrified to know what sort of hi-jinks he might get up to if I let my guard down, therefore, and I do hope you'll forgive me, I don't believe I shall be letting him out any time soon provided I am at all capable of preventing it." He took a sip of coffee and his face twisted in revulsion. "Oh, my, this stuff is HORRIBLE!" He sipped it again. "Tastes fine to me, knucklehead. Stop complaining." His face changed again. "But it's bitter and gross and..."

Ambrose shuddered lightly and added another spoonful of sugar to his coffee and drank some. "Better?"

Glitch shook his head. "No. Well, maybe a little. Can we have another one?"

Ambrose ground his teeth and took a sip. "No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No! For crying out loud!" He practically slammed the cup down. "How about this, you let me drink my coffee in peace, I let you talk to your friends. Fair compromise?"

Glitch shook his head again. "It's my body you're stealing. How is that fair?"

"Your body? That's a laugh. I had it first, pal."

"Well, I have it now and I'm letting you use it out of the kindness of my heart, the least you could do is drink something that doesn't taste disgusting."

"Why don't you crawl back into your corner and play with your safety scissors and paste while we grown ups have a talk, hmm?"

"Oh, so you think I'm childish now?"

"If the shoe fits..." Ambrose took another sip of coffee.

"Alright. You want childish? I can be childish." Glitch upended the coffee cup in his own lap.

Ambrose shot to his feet with a yelp, face twisted in pain. "AGH! Son of a...!" He brought his fist up to his mouth and bit down hard on the first knuckle of his thumb, evidently to keep from screaming with rage.

DG and Cain watched the whole exchange, faces blank. Cain looked at DG over his coffee cup. "Is it just me, or should this all seem strange?"

"You should have seen them when they were writing. You doing okay there, Ambrose? Need some help?"

It took Ambrose a moment or two to compose himself enough to answer. He grabbed a napkin and began wiping at the large wet stain on the front of his pants. "No, I do not need help! I've settled fishing disputes with mermaids, smooth talked leprechauns out of their gold shares, adjudicated mining agreements with dwarves. Ozma above, I've even negotiated peace treaties with dragons! What makes you think that I can't handle one childish, immature, thick-headed, nonsensical, obnoxious, ludicrously ignorant..." He looked up. "You know what? I can't even think of a word that encompasses everything I want to call him. Rest assured, when I think of one vile enough, I will tell you what it is."

Cain shook his head sadly. "There really ought to be something strange about all this."

Raw nodded solemnly in agreement.

DG shrugged. "What's strange is that this place doesn't have an on call psychiatrist. Ambrose, could you stop calling Glitch names? He doesn't like it."

"I don't like it when he tries to mutilate my genitals with scalding water. We're even."

"He's got you there, kid. Gonna have to side with the nutcase on this one."

Ambrose gave Cain a put out look. "Nutcase? Isn't that's a little harsh, Tin Man?"

"I can't exactly call you headcase, now can I? Somebody else already has that name."

Glitch smiled a wide happy grin. "Aww, thanks Cain!"

Ambrose quickly resumed control and shook his head, rolling his eyes in disgust. "My, oh, my. Isn't that just sickeningly sweet?"

"Don't flatter yourself, pretty boy. A nasty, bitter pill like you needs something sweet to swallow with."

"I am not a..." Ambrose trailed off at the expressions on the faces of Glitch's friends. He looked at Raw. Raw looked at Ambrose apologetically before he nodded regretfully, agreeing with Cain. Ambrose was silent for a moment or two, sitting down again and setting the napkin carefully on the table. He looked over at DG. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"I'm assuming you have a similar opinion on the matter?"

DG smiled nervously, unsure what he wanted her to say. "Sometimes you can be... I don't know."

Ambrose nodded quietly, not meeting her eyes. If she didn't know him better, she would think that he was suddenly feeling insecure, the way he fidgeted briefly before pouring himself a fresh cup of coffee. That was impossible, of course. Ambrose was cocky, self-confidant, brash, sure of himself unlike any person she had ever met. Insecure isn't a word that came close to describing what she knew of him.

Still, watching him carefully, she could see that his normally copper eyes had dulled to the color of burnt coffee grounds, something that only seemed to happen when he was unhappy or upset. He spooned one teaspoon of sugar into his cup, stared at it thoughtfully for a moment, then picked up the sugar bowl and used it to pour an ungodly amount of the white crystals into the cup. He set the bowl down half empty then picked up his spoon and began to slowly stir the now syrupy black sludge.

DG reached her hand out to touch his arm. "Hey."

Glitch looked up, startled. "Oh! Hi, Deeg!" He grinned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just that Ambrose seemed so sad."

Cain snorted. "He's manipulative. He probably just wants you to think he's sad."

Glitch frowned, rolling his eyes up towards the ceiling as if he was thinking hard or listening to something. "I don't know. I can't hear what he's thinking right now. I think he's hiding."

"Won't catch me complaining any." Cain caught the look DG was throwing at him. "What? He gives me the creeps."

Glitch smiled a little, uncomfortable. "Sorry about that."

"It's not your fault, Glitch. I'm just saying that given a choice, I prefer your company, is all."

"Aww, thanks Cain." That happy grin was back and he automatically reached for the coffee cup with his right hand and took a sip. He looked at the cup in shocked amazement. "Hey! This is pretty good!" He gulped quite a bit of it down. "Ah! Hot too!"

DG smiled. "Well, yeah. That's why there's steam coming off it, you goofball."

He grinned at her, ducking his head just a little, pleased that she was smiling. With a start, he sat straight up in his seat, face lighting up like a kid on Christmas morning. "Oh! I was going to tell you...!" He began fumbling frantically in his pockets, practically falling out of his seat as he twisted and dug through his coat. "What the Queen came to talk to me about! You'll never guess! You can try, but I bet you can't do it!"

DG almost breathed a sigh of relief. If Glitch was this excited, whatever it was couldn't have been too bad. "Well? What was it?"

"What? What do you mean what? You're not going to guess? Not even going to try?"

"You just told me that I couldn't guess."

"Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean that you can't try!"

Cain had the same look in his eyes that he always got when he was just about to pull his gun. Glitch deflated a little.

"Fine, fine, fine. Uh, well..." He stood up and twisted around so he could use his momentum to get a little more reach in the bottom inside pocket. "Well, she said that certain things had been brought to her attention."

DG winced. 'Certain things' could be very bad...

"And she wanted to discuss them with me since they concerned me so centrally. Aha! Got it!" A triumphant smile flashed across his face. "And she wanted to see if it was true or not..." He chewed thoughtfully on his lip. "And, well, I told her it was. I think that was right, right?"

DG held her breath. This wasn't looking good.

"Well... She said that she had some reservations and that she wasn't entirely comfortable with the situation but as long as some propriety was maintained, that she would be happy to give her blessing."

DG couldn't bear it any longer. "She found out about Ambrose? And she's okay with it?"

Glitch looked confused. "Ambrose didn't actually come up. Why? Was he supposed to? Did I forget?"

"No, no it's not that at all. But if you aren't talking about Ambrose, then what in the world are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you. And me. And... and... and us." He smiled and clambered up on the table, inching forward on his knees, carefully negotiating the coffee service until he was kneeling in front of DG with a small black box held tightly in his fingers. "And this."

DG's breath caught in her throat. "What is this?"

Glitch nervously opened the box for her to examine it's contents. It was a ring, though one not like any she had ever seen in her life. The band was made of gold and silver braided together and the setting where an engagement diamond would normally be was a beautifully cut emerald flanked on either side by two smaller, yet no less beautifully cut gemstones. One was ruby, one was sapphire.

Glitch fidgeted. "It's a, um... It's an engagement ring, Deeg." He smiled nervously.

DG put a hand to her mouth. "I can see that, Glitch. You didn't have to. There's nothing wrong with the one you already gave me. See? I still have it." She held up her left hand to display the white piece of string tied carefully around her finger.

"The last time I proposed... I remember most of it, don't get me wrong, well bits and pieces actually, but I really wanted to remember ALL of it and Ambrose wasn't there so he doesn't remember ANY of it, so I thought we might do it over again. And I wanted to make you something special... " His puppy brown eyes shined with uncertainty when she didn't answer right away. "Don't you like it?"

"Glitch, I love it!" She stood so she could reach him and pulled his face close for a kiss. "What I meant was that EVERYTHING you give me, everything you are is special to me. That's all."

"So? Will you marry me, DG?"

"Of course I will, silly!" She kissed him again and it was magical, slow and sweet and perfect... She could practically hear him purring.

Then suddenly he wasn't anymore. DG sighed in disappointment. This had to stop. "Ambrose Agincourt, when are you going to stop barging in on our make out sessions?"

"Maybe when you stop doing that mind-blowing kissing thing you do, Dorothygale. I'm telling you, he just goes 'poof.' I had nothing to do with it. But I am more than happy to fill in on occasion."

"Oh, please. Could you two get a room?"

Raw, who had been smiling contentedly and basking in the happy emotions, growled and slapped Cain's arm in reproach.

Ambrose smirked and sat back on his heels so he could turn his head to see Cain. "Only if you want to join us, pretty boy." Those last two words, teasing and sarcastic when Cain had spoke them, were said now with mocking irony and with such a shamelessly suggestive leer that the most brazen strumpet would have blushed.

Cain choked on his coffee, but hid it well enough to shoot back a reply, "Is that an offer, nutcase?"

"No, that's a challenge, Tin Man."

DG cleared her throat. "Boys! As charming as the thought of THAT particular man-sandwich sounds, may I remind you both that Glitch is my fiancee and as far as his body is concerned, I have exclusive ownership rights?"

Ambrose laughed and turned incredulous copper eyes to look at her. "Princess, am I to understand that you are CLAIMING me?"

"Not you. Just your body." DG picked up her coffee cup and sipped it daintily, blue eyes gazing at him with sultry delight over the rim of the delicate porcelain. Putting that look on his face was a secret thrill of hers.

His voice was husky as he leaned down close to her. "Let me have a taste of that coffee." He kissed her deeply, inhaling her essence. His mouth was hot and sinfully sweet. There was a moan, and DG couldn't tell if it was her, or him, or even if it was Cain protesting having to watch such a display. It was a marvelous kiss and when it ended, Ambrose pressed his forehead against hers with a contented grin. "That is damned good coffee, Kitten."

She smiled. "You're not so bad yourself."

"I think Glitch has his marbles back together. I'll see you later." Ambrose kissed her tenderly on the forehead and then he was gone.

It hadn't occurred to DG how precariously Ambrose had himself perched on the edge of the table until Glitch's brown eyes flew wide in panic and he gave a small cry of alarm as his arms windmilled backwards to keep himself from falling.

DG raised a hand to help steady him. "You okay there, Glitch?"

He had regained his balance and looked at her with a puzzled frown. "What? Oh! Yes, I'm fine! What am I doing up here?"

"You were proposing to me."

"I was? Oh, yeah! The ring! The ring, the ring, the ring..." He looked around frantically for his box, finding it where it had been casually discarded sometime before. "Did I tell you about the ring?"

"You started to. Why don't you come down first?"

"Huh? Oh, right." He clambered off the table and pulled his chair close to DG. "So! What I was trying to tell you about this ring is that it's super special. See the emerald. Well, that's you. And the blue and the red one, well, that's me and Ambrose, but I can't remember which one of us was which... I think I might have been blue... Or maybe that was Ambrose. Anyway! The part that I DO remember is that the gold band was me and that the silver band is him. He likes silver. He says it's in his blood. He's got some sort of infirmity..." Ambrose's voice broke in, automatically correcting him. "Affinity." Glitch smiled. "Right. He has an affinity for it."

Cain spoke up. "Silver in your blood, eh? Is that why you're so cursed pale all the time?"

It was Ambrose who spoke. "Partly. My people were born from the stars. We don't react to sunlight the way that you Ozians do."

"Is that so? Does that mean you sparkle at night like the stars do?"

"Don't know. Might have to take me swimming by moonlight to find out."

"Ambrose!"

"Sorry, Kitten. I'll try to be good."

"And Cain, stop encouraging him!"

"What did I do?"

An icy glare was his only response. Raw snickered. "DG no worry. Ambrose only teasing."

"You're not supposed to give me away like that. It's fairly rude, you know."

"Raw say what Raw think best."

DG pouted a little bit. "What I can't figure out is if it's Cain he's teasing or me."

Raw shook his head and shrugged. "Raw give one secret. Ambrose keep other."

"That's okay. I'll get Glitch to tell me later."

"Get me to tell you what?" Glitch blinked, confusion apparent in his bright brown eyes. "Did I miss something?"

"You're always missing something, headcase."

"Not anymore! I've got my brain back, so you can't use that insult on me now!"

Cain smiled and drank his coffee.

DG sighed. It hadn't occurred to her that a fractured conversation with Glitch could be made worse by intermittent appearances by Ambrose, but somehow they pulled it off. "So, Glitch! You were telling me what my mother said to you in your lab."

"Was I? Oh, right! I was. Yes, well, she said that since you had set your sights on marrying me and that she was certain that she couldn't change your mind, she would have to deal with her disappointment and give us her blessing."

"Really?"

"Umm... yup. Mmhmm."

"That's all she said?"

"No, she said more. She said that the ball next week would be an Engagement Ball rather than a Debutante and she told me that I didn't have to worry about supporting you financially because I'm really a Duke, or at least Ambrose was, and he has an estate that earns an income and everything, so I don't even need to work and you don't need to worry about the Queen providing for us because I can do it myself now! She seemed concerned that you might think your options were limited, but she didn't explain what she meant by that, so that's mostly all of what she said. Oh! And I can't see you alone anymore until the wedding. It's lacking in propensity." His eyes closed. "Propriety." They shot open again. "Yes, that's what I said! Stop interrupting!"

DG breathed a sigh of relief and remembered something her dad had told her once when she was in middle school. When you lie, it isn't the lie that gets you caught. It's the fear of getting caught that shoots you in the foot. Her voice was still laced with incredulity. "Really? That's all she wanted to talk about?"

Glitch looked confused. "Well, yeah... But... isn't that enough? I just... I thought it was good news..."

DG laughed at the disheartened expression on his face. She hugged him and kissed his cheek. "It is, love, it is! I've just been sitting here for hours thinking that something bad had happened and now I find out that it was all just something silly!"

"I didn't think it was silly..."

"Zipperhead, what the princess is trying to tell you is that she's been drowning her sorrows in coffee while she waited for word that her mother had dragged you out back and chopped off your head with a rusty shovel. She's very happy that she was worried over nothing."

"DG love Glitch. Very worried. Very afraid for Glitch."

Glitch deflated a little bit. "I don't want you to worry about me, Deeg." He touched her lightly on the cheek with his fingertips. "Aww, don't cry, doll."

DG hadn't realized that she was, but sure enough she could feel them rolling down her cheeks. "I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you. I would never forgive myself if it was my fault."

"Nothing's going to happen. I'm fine. We'll be fine." He pulled her into a tight and comforting hug. "You don't have to worry your pretty little head about it one bit, I promise! And even if something happens and we aren't fine, Ambrose will think of a way to make everything alright again. It's what he does best. When he's not irritating people, that is. I think being irritating is what he does best, actually, but he's pretty good at fixing things too."

"Funny, that's what he says about you."

"Yeah, but when he says it, he's just being mean."

"And when you poured hot coffee on his lap you were being, what? Magnanimous?"

Glitch looked at least a little ashamed. "Now that you mention it, my pants are kind of wet... I suppose I should go change them." He smiled sheepishly. "Will you be alright?"

"As long as I have you, I'm wonderful." She kissed him. "Just don't pour coffee in your lap anymore, okay? I don't want you to damage anything you might need later."

He looked at her questioningly for a second before her meaning dawned on him and he grinned shyly, the faintest trace of blush coloring his cheeks. "Hehehe. I think I, uh... I'll keep that in mind." His smile stretched wide, encompassing his whole face and he looked down. "Oh! The ring!" He pulled it out of the box that he still held. "You should put this on before I forget about it again." He took her hand and slid the ring onto her finger. "There. All official."

She smiled and kissed him, making sure to keep it short so he wouldn't glitch again. "Go. And make sure nobody sees you or they might think you had a different sort of accident."

He smiled. "See you guys!" He took another gulp of the thick, syrupy coffee and smacked his lips. Smiling happily, he ducked out of the alcove. Cain, Raw and DG watched him go, each thinking different thoughts. Then they heard him scream in terror and run full speed the opposite direction, Miss Sophy hot on his heels.


	11. Chapter 11

Not What He Seems Part 11  
By Phantaz-magoria

A/N: Once again, this goes someplace entirely unintended. Hope it surprises you all as much as it surprised me =) Thanks for the reviews! I heart you all *hugs to everyone*

* * *

When DG walked into the lab, the first thing she noticed was a large iron sphere taking up most of the workspace. It was well over three stories tall and surrounded by metal scaffolding. The second thing she noticed was that the lab hadn't been three stories tall the last time she had been down here. Lastly, she noticed Ambrose on the top scaffolding with his white lab coat and a welding mask, using a welding torch to... well to do something. She couldn't see from down here, just the sparks and the white hot flame. She didn't want to disturb his concentration, so she waited patiently for him to be done.

He must have sensed her presence for it was not more than a minute before he cut the torch and lifted the mask, turning around to look down at her.

"Oh. Hello. How long have you been there?"

"Not very long. I thought I'd see if you wanted to get some lunch."

"That time already?"

"It's been that time for a while. We'll be having an extremely late lunch. Or early dinner. Afternoon tea, I guess."

"Alright. Give me a second." He pulled off the mask and disconnected the torch from a hose that hung from the ceiling. He set them both on a small metal workbench that had been set close at hand and climbed over the rail, dropping down the scaffolding as quick and easy as a chimpanzee on a rope ladder. He began pulling off his lab coat as he walked towards a large sink off to the side.

"Hey! Where's my kiss?"

Ambrose stopped, backed up a few paces so he could give her a quick peck on the cheek, before striding towards the wash basin again.

DG grumbled. "That wasn't much of a kiss..."

"Do you want to kiss or do you want to eat? I, frankly, enjoy both, so whichever you prefer is perfectly fine with me." He had unbuttoned his white shirt and set both it and his lab coat across the back of a chair and was in the process of pulling off Glitch's striped undershirt.

DG gasped when she saw his back. It was the first time she'd ever seen him with his shirt off, here in the real world. He turned his head so he could just barely see her from the corner of his eye. He smirked and began running the water. "You thought I was exaggerating, did you?"

"No... I just... I guess I didn't think about it much at all." White scars criss-crossed his pale skin. Some were thin lines, others were long patches of puckered flesh. Most looked like what DG imagined whipping scars to look like, but there were a few larger ones. Knife wounds, perhaps? He was still watching her, quietly acknowledging her silence. She stammered, trying to think of a cover up. "I, uh... didn't think you would be that muscular. I know you said you were a general and you took on a giant and all, but I didn't think you had muscles for some reason." It was only a partially lame excuse for staring. It was true, though. She could see them rippling and sliding under his skin as he used a cloth to wash sweat and grime off his face, neck, and chest.

Ambrose chuckled and she couldn't tell if it was because he didn't believe her or if he did. "I'm relieved you aren't picky. I haven't been this out of shape since I was eight. Every time I take steps to get back INTO shape, Glitch starts whining that I'm trying to murder him. Makes it hard to run laps around the castle when your alter ego starts screaming at everyone you pass that he's been kidnapped and he needs help."

DG grinned. "You know, I can just imagine him doing that." She handed him a dry towel. He smiled at her when their fingers brushed. She was dismayed to see that the scars wrapped around the front of his chest as well. "Do they hurt?" DG couldn't help but reach out a hand and trace her fingertips lightly down one of the larger ones that started at his shoulder and crossed down towards his sternum.

"Not appreciably. I have an unusual tolerance for pain, though. I think that's why I can stand being around you as much as I am."

DG's hand flinched away. "What does that mean?"

Ambrose's eyes twinkled as he took her hand and brought it up to place a kiss across her knuckles. "It means that I find you painfully arousing, kitten, and enjoy you so much that I choose to endure the discomfort for even the smallest increment of your radiant company. Cold showers notwithstanding."

DG smiled. He could certainly turn a compliment when he set his mind to it. "So, what exactly is this thing you're working on?"

Ambrose reluctantly released her hand and began to dry himself off, quick and efficient. "It's a contained environment."

"Really? What's it do?"

Ambrose grabbed his undershirt and pulled it on. "Do you remember me telling you that the Sun Seeder was never going to work?"

DG nodded and handed him his white button up shirt. He pulled it on and buttoned it quickly, taking care to make sure the buttons were one slot off, to help himself look like Glitch, she imagined.

"Well, I was doing some more thinking about it. Growing seasons, crops..."

"So you're trying to redesign the Sun Seeder?"

"Good gracious, no. That bucket of bolts was made for one thing and one thing only. Besides... stopping the suns in the sky? There is a universal truth that if you muck about with the fabric of reality, it's likely to muck with you back. Even if you are lucky enough to extend the growing season in one small corner of the world, it effects everything. Suddenly you have the Ice Palace melting and sinking into the frozen sea, forests being burned to dust, lake country drying up. You have to be a little more insane than I am to attempt a nightmare like that."

He slipped Glitch's favorite brown and gold overcoat on. DG tugged on the sleeves and smoothed the shoulders. "So this thing you're building doesn't mess with the environment, then?"

"Nope, it's a completely self-contained ecosystem. I'm starting it small, of course. Start with some grains, see if I can keep those growing all year. Then maybe add some vegetables, some fruit. Eventually, if I can get it working right, I can make it big enough to feed an entire village without taking up too much farm space."

"That sounds much simpler than slowing down the suns."

"Simple things are always best. Shall we?"

DG hooked her arm through his. "I was thinking we could have a picnic in the garden room."

Ambrose laughed. "A picnic? I think that would be charming."

"Quick question, though. Was your lab always this big or am I just seeing things?"

"No. It was smaller last week."

"How is that possible? Did you rebuilt it? You can't do that in a week! And where would you put it all..."

"It changes size."

"How can you have a room that changes size?"

"Honey doll, you have a mother who brought you back to life with magic, a sister who was possessed by an evil witch, and a recovering lobotomy patient with dissociative identity disorder for a fiance. It amazes me that a room with structural permanency issues is causing you difficulty."

"It's not causing me difficulty at all! I think it's neat! How'd you pull it off?"

"If I told you all my secrets, I wouldn't be a very good wizard, now would I?"

"You're not a wizard, you're a scientist, so spill it."

"When I was nineteen I developed an equation that allows me to tap into the fourth dimension. It's no big deal."

"No big deal? You can alter space and time and that's no big deal? And what happened to not mucking about with the fabric of reality?"

"I am not against a little bit of minor tweaking here and there. And it really is no big deal. Granted, I was pretty ecstatic when I discovered it, but I'm afraid it's a little old hat now." Ambrose saw the look in her eyes and chuckled. "Alright, kitten, why don't you tell me about the last time that you thought sliced bread was the most fantastical thing you'd seen or heard of and I may concede the point."

"Sliced bread? Ambrose, that's not even the same thing! It's completely different."

"Not terribly. Before sliced bread, you had to grow the flour, harvest it, grind it, make the dough, hope to high heaven it rises, bake it, pray you don't burn it, then slice it yourself. Terribly long process for something that goes stale in three or four days. I think sliced bread was a perfectly marvelous invention. But it's been around for such a while that people take it for granted."

Ambrose closed the door to his lab behind them, locking it with a large iron key. He picked up the small picnic basket that DG had left just outside the lab, wry amusement on his features. "You weren't going to let me say no to lunch, were you?"

"Nonsense! You could have said no. But if you had, I would have asked Glitch to lunch and HE would have said yes."

"Sneaky, conniving minx."

"Learned from the best." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "Come on. I'm hungry."

He nodded, ushering her before him up the stairs with gentle finger tips at the small of her back.

"Do you mind me asking what's in the basket?"

"Oh, this and that."

"I told you my secret, you can't tell me what's in the basket?"

"Be patient and find out."

"But I want to know now!" He'd gotten the whining imitation of Glitch down almost perfect.

When they reached the top of the stairs, she turned around and kissed him again. "You can be patient, love. If I can wait more than a month to find out what Glitch is building for me that was such a big huge surprise, you can wait five minutes to find out what we're having for lunch."

Ambrose's face was a mask of shocked confusion. "He hasn't...? That knucklehead! He finished it before we even had our surgery and he never told you?"

DG shook her head.

Ambrose growled. "Glitch! Get out here!"

Glitch shook his head. "But, I'm sleeping..."

"You're about to be sleeping in the dog house in a minute. Get out here."

Glitch yawned and stretched, then looked down at the basket in his hand, trying to figure out where that had come from. "Hi, Deeg." He kissed her drowsily on the cheek and yawned again. "What's up?"

"I'm sorry. I think it's my fault. I told Ambrose that I was still waiting for you to tell me what you built for me. He said you finished it?"

"What? Oh! Yeah, I finished that awhile ago." Glitch yawned again. "I don't know why I didn't tell you about it. I guess I got distracted by something."

"Well, brain surgery can be a little distracting. I guess I can forgive you. So, what is it?"

"It's a radio. I've got it in my room if you want to see it."

"Sure! Can we go see it now?"

"Yeah, I don't mind. I'm sorry I didn't think of showing it to you sooner." DG smiled and kissed him and he moaned as he kissed her back, still sleepy but slowly waking up. "You are so nice to wake up to..." He wrapped one arm around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder. "I wouldn't mind staying here forever."

"I wouldn't, except I'm hungry, and I am absolutely dying to see what you built. Come on." She kissed his cheek and took a step backwards down the hall. He took a step forward, but didn't move his head. "Come on, Glitch."

"I don't want to move," he whined sadly.

"But you're going to, cause I'm moving." She took another step backwards. He moaned piteously and continued to follow her, one step at a time, with his head on her shoulder all the way down the hallway. When they reached the flight of stairs that led up to the bedrooms, DG took his face in her hands and kissed him again. "Come on, sleepyhead! Why are you so tired, anyway?"

"Because he doesn't sleep, ever. I finally convinced him to try sleeping and he told me it wouldn't work but I didn't believe him and we just laid in bed for hours not sleeping because his side of our brain just doesn't ever turn off. So he's working and I'm REM sleeping for both of us, now, I guess. People go crazy when they don't sleep. Did you know that?"

"Yeah, I heard that somewhere. Is it working out, though? Are you getting enough sleep this way?"

"I can't tell. Do I have bags under my eyes?"

DG examined him closely for a moment. "Nope. Just as beautiful as always."

"Beautiful? Ha! You must have a mirror taped to my forehead or something, cause I'm not the one that's beautiful here."

She took his free hand and led him up the stairs. "Flattery won't get you out of showing me that present, mister." Up the stairs they want, Glitch slowly following with the basket.

"It's really not as special as you're making it out to be..." Glitch's bedroom was the first one on the landing. It was the easiest for him to find. They had tried giving him Ambrose's old room when they had first settled in at the palace, but after too many times finding Glitch sitting alone in the hallway, tired and lost, it had been changed. He unlocked the door and led DG in.

She hadn't been in here since before the surgery or she would have noticed the cheerful yellow package with the bright pink bow sitting on the desk. DG's fingers twitched when she saw it. "Can I open it?" At Glitch's nod, she practically attacked the package. When she had ripped the paper away, she saw what appeared to be an extremely old wooden box radio with three light bulbs screwed into the top, a large glass circle in the front framed by two knobs and topped with a familiar looking gadget with three lenses on it. "What kind of radio is this?"

Glitch had set the picnic basket down and stepped up behind her. "It's a Crystal Memory Trans-Modulating Radio. See this reservoir here in the front? You take a crystal and you put it in there, then close the glass. You flip this switch to turn it on... and it will play the memories stored in the crystal."

"Memories stored in crystal?"

"Yeah. Ambrose could explain it better. See, crystals are extremely sensitive to fluctuations and minor vibrations in the atmosphere, especially those caused by emotion. If you hold a crystal in your hand for five minutes, you can put it in this radio and hear everything you were thinking during that time. But if you keep it for a week or two, it becomes attuned to you and you can listen to much, much older memories. Ambrose helped me figure out how to hook it up to the TDESPHTL so you can SEE people's memories too, not just hear them..."

DG was almost speechless. "You made this for me?"

"Sure. I thought that if something went wrong... well, you'd have something that you could remember me with... And not just that! I know you still have trouble remembering what it was like growing up, so you can use it to see some of the memories you can't even remember anymore. Isn't that cool?"

DG wrapped her arms around him and held him close. "That's the most thoughtful thing anyone's given me."

Glitch smiled and hugged her tight, swaying slowly back and forth. "I'm glad you like it. Ambrose helped."

"Yeah, but he didn't think of it. He's not as brilliant as you are."

Glitch blushed and ducked his head against her shoulder. She could hear Ambrose mutter something about 'testing' and 'patience' but it was Glitch who continued to dance with her.

Five minutes later, it was Ambrose who gently pushed her away. "Didn't your mother say something about 'propriety'? I can't imagine she would approve of you being alone in my room with me."

"It's not any different than if I were alone in the lab with you."

"The lab doesn't have soft squishy things like beds that I can ravage you on."

"Maybe I want you to ravish me."

"Maybe I want to wait until you and Glitch are married."

"Maybe... I'm not just marrying Glitch. Maybe I'm marrying you too."

"Maybe I still want to wait."

"Maybe you're being difficult."

"Maybe that's what I do best."

"Maybe you need a new hobby."

"Maybe you should stop speculating." Ambrose leaned forward and kissed her. "Can we eat now?"

"I thought you didn't like to eat?"

"I never said I didn't like to eat, I said that it often slipped my mind to do it. Now you've dragged me out of my lair with the promise of food and you aren't even feeding me."

DG kissed him in return. "We'll have to fix that, won't we. Why don't we eat in here?"

"Because I will get lynched from the nearest tree if your mother finds you in here."

"Live dangerously." DG plopped herself down on the floor and opened the basket.

Ambrose shook his head and opened the desk drawer. He pulled an ornate wooden box out. He opened it and fished out a cigarette, then left the box on the desk. He stretched luxuriously then sank gracefully down to the floor next to DG. "So, what do we have here?"

DG pulled out a small square of cloth to put the food on and set it on the floor. The first thing she pulled out of the basket were two large bottles of ale. Ambrose grinned. "You are a gal after my own heart." Next came a cold roasted chicken, four beef sandwiches, a jar of raspberry preserves, two scones, a loaf of bread, a small pot of Devonshire cream, a small pot of butter, a brick of cheese. Last was a peach tart and that made Ambrose smile. Glitch frowned. "Hey, wait a minute, why does Ambrose get a peach tart and I don't get an apple pie?"

DG smiled and kissed her Glitch. "You get your apple pie with dinner, sweety."

"But I want it now!"

"You eat more than Ambrose does, you can be patient."

Glitch was pouting. "We eat exactly the same, you know..." He faded into the background and Ambrose shook his head, ruefully. "He has a point, but I appreciate you thinking about me." Ambrose looked over at the door, a curious expression on his face. "Hmm."

"What is it?" DG turned to look at what he was looking at.

"Nothing important."

By the time DG turned back the entire peach tart was gone and Ambrose's cheeks were puffed out like a chipmunk.

"You did that just to distract me!"

Ambrose chewed quickly and swallowed. "Not entirely."

"Great. Now you're being mysterious again."

"You should know me by now. I have three or four motives for everything I do."

"I can't for the life of me figure out what your others could have been. You distracted me so you could eat dessert first. Childish, but what more is there?"

"I was debating whether to invite the Tin Man in or to let him listen at key holes a while longer."

"He's outside?"

"Yup. Making sure I don't violate your tender femininity, no doubt."

DG was on her feet, striding towards the door like a hellcat. "Wyatt Cain! Where do you get off spying on me!" She pulled the door open and there he was, not looking too surprised that he'd been discovered.

Cain coughed into his hand, clearing his throat. "Just looking out for my little girl."

"I am NOT your little girl! If I want to have a passionate, torrid affair with the man I love on the floor of his bedroom, that is my own God given right, dammit and I will not have you interfering!"

Ambrose rolled on his back, giggling, hands covering his face. "I can't believe you said 'torrid''..." He was trying hard not to laugh, but failing miserably. "I don't know why that's so funny!"

"You aren't getting on my good side either!"

Ambrose used a sleeve to wipe tears from the corners of his eyes, while he sat up with a goofy smile plastered on his face. "Hey there, handsome. Why don't you join us for a bite?" Ambrose tossed one of the wrapped beef sandwiches to Cain.

"I don't know, Ambrose. It looks like she's going to bite ME if I'm not careful." DG was still glowering at him, her hands on her hips.

"Well, if she doesn't, I certainly will. You're looking particularly tasty today."

"Strangely enough, that doesn't make me feel better."

DG threw up her hands. "Should I leave you two alone? Cause if I'm getting in the way of anything..."

Cain's instantly responded, "No!" The look of abject terror on his face was nowhere near enough to sooth DG's ruffled feelings.

Ambrose smiled. "Not at all, kitten. Come have a seat." He leaned forward and patted the floor in front of him. Reluctantly, she came to sit down, still glowering. Ambrose grabbed her by the waist and scooted her back against him so he could rest his chin on her shoulder. "Don't look so sad, honey doll. You know I'm just playing."

"How am I supposed to know that?"

Ambrose had his arms around her and was about to kiss her on the cheek when she turned her head away from him in silent rejection. He froze, a look of intense confusion creeping onto his face. "Uh... what are we talking about?"

"I don't know! You don't want to sleep with me, but you flirt shamelessly with my best friend every time he enters the room, so you tell me!" DG pulled out of Ambrose's embrace and stood.

Ambrose stood as well. "Now, wait just a minute..."

DG slapped him hard across the face. Ambrose's first instinct was to grab her and throw her. Not any place hard, mind you, someplace soft. Like the bed. His second instinct was to threaten all the miseries of hell upon her. Third to laugh amicably and offer to teach her a better, more painful way to slap a person. But Glitch had taken complete control over him and held him fast, completely immobile. His fourth instinct was to breathe, but he couldn't even seem to do that.

_Glitch, what the blazes are you doing?_

_I'm not going to let you hurt her._

Ambrose couldn't see what was happening. His eyes had closed when she slapped him and he couldn't open them again. He could hear her at the door, angry and shouting, "If you two want to make like rabbits, go ahead and get it out of your system. Come find me when you've cleaned yourselves off."

Cain, sounding just as bewildered as he felt, "Kid, I don't think... DG, something's wrong."

_No kidding, something's wrong. Glitch why won't you let me breathe?_

_Because I need you to understand. You can't hurt DG because I love her and I won't let you._

_Aren't you taking this a bit far?_

_Not until you understand. You think you deserve to be in control? You think that what you want is what we get? You're wrong._

_Glitch, we need to breathe..._

"Ambrose? Cain... why isn't he moving?"

"Not moving? He's not even breathing!"

_See? They want you to let me go. Maybe you should._

_I will when you admit that you don't have control._

_I do have control..._

_Then why don't you just shove me into the back of our mind like you always do? Take control, Ambrose. What's stopping you?_

_Glitch, stop this!_

_No!_

_You're going to kill us!_

The world, what he could make of it with his eyes closed, seemed to tilt and topple sideways, but strong hands holding his arms kept him from falling. He could feel the hard floor under his back and slender fingers just under his jaw, tilting his head back.

_Glitch, you have to stop!_

_Not until you understand. You may have all the brain power, but I'm the one who remembers how to move, how to breathe, how to blink, how to swallow... all the little day to day things that you don't think we have to think about._

_Okay, alright. You've proved your point._

Warm lips pressed against his and pressure filled his lungs, but lights were already starting to flash behind his eyes.

"Ambrose! Ambrose wake up! Cain, what's wrong with him?"

"Hell if I know, kid."

_I don't think I have, Ambrose._

_What do you want me to say? I'm sorry? I wasn't going to hurt her!_

_You thought about it!_

_I think about lots of things._

_And I want you to stop and if it has to be this way, so be it. Every time you think of hurting DG, I'm going to do this until you get the picture and stop doing it. Got it?_

_If you think you can threaten me, then go ahead. Do your worst._

Almost the instant the thought slipped out, Ambrose regretted it, but he didn't have time to take it back. Unimaginable pain filled his chest with fire and light exploded in his head in a million shards of glass. He could feel an emptiness at the center of his being and it hurt more than anything he thought he had felt before.

Glitch had stopped their heart.

Ambrose felt himself falling away and the last thing he heard, echoing in his head like someone shouting in a canyon, was DG screaming Glitch's name.


	12. Chapter 12

Not What He Seems Part 12  
By Phantaz-magoria

A/N: Holy cow, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to write! Agh! Fortunately, hard part's over. Next one should come much quicker. Also, any lack of quality in this piece is probably due to me throwing up my hands and accepting that I was never going to get this chapter perfect. Thank you all so much for reviewing ie, guilting me into not giving up. Every single one of you rocks!

* * *

"Well, now. Isn't this a pretty kettle of fish?"

Glitch startled and twisted around. His hand flew up to his chest, he was certain his heart had skipped a beat, and he growled angrily, "Why do you always sneak up on people like that?"

Ambrose shrugged. "It's in my nature." He stood tall and straight in a black three piece suit, a naked blade held casually in his left hand.

Glitch looked around. They were standing on a silver beach, dark waves pounding against the sand with a roar. The moon and the stars shone as bright as daylight, flooding the area with ghostly light. The breeze that wrapped around them was warm and smelled of lavender and sea air.

"Why... uh... why do you have a sword, Ambrose?"

Ambrose twirled the blade expertly before resting it against his shoulder. "I'm a knight of the realm, Glitch. I'm trained to react to all threats with precision and deliberation." His glare was cold. "And finality."

"I'm, uh... I'm not really a threat, am I?"

"You've just spent a good deal of effort to prove to me that you are."

Glitch looked around again, nervously trying to find an escape route. He had spoken to Ambrose before, but this was the first time he'd ever gotten such a distinct vibe of animosity from him. They'd fought often, but Ambrose had never looked so much like he wanted to kill him as he did now. "How did we get here?"

"You killed us. We're dead. Mission accomplished."

"I didn't mean to KILL US, kill us. Are we really that dead?"

"As a doornail."

"You seem angry."

"Do I?"

"Yeah, a little bit."

"I can't imagine why that would be." Ambrose took a step forward.

Glitch took a step backward. "What... what are you doing, Ambrose?"

"The weak go quickly to their graves. A lesson better learned sooner than later."

Glitch was laughing nervously and back-peddling faster. "I don't suppose you could say that in simpler terms, could you?"

"Play with fire and you get burned."

"Ah! Yes, see? That I understood!"

Glitch turned and sprinted as fast as he could along the beach, only to skid to a halt and fall to his knees in the sand. Ambrose was already ahead of him and he hadn't even moved. "How are you doing this?

"We're in my mind, Glitch. You can kill us, you've certainly proved that, but in here, I hold dominion and I can destroy you. Pick up the sword."

Glitch looked down, in front of him in the sand was a sword identical to Ambrose's from the intricate etching on the thin blade to the elegant metalwork of the hilt and hand guard. "This is a really pretty sword, Ambrose, did you make it yourself?"

"En guarde."

Glitch was shaking as he picked the sword up. "Ambrose, please..."

"Please, what? Don't kill you? I'll take it under consideration. Stand up."

"I don't... please..."

"You want me to listen to you, Glitch. Fine. Here's your chance, and I'm only giving you one. You think you've got the guts to stand up to me, to stand up for what you believe in? Prove it."

Knees quivering and butterflies in his stomach, Glitch stood slowly, holding the sword awkwardly in front of him. Ambrose watched him dispassionately, a predator sizing up his prey. Glitch was more afraid now then he could ever remember being before. Ambrose was going to tear him apart like a wolf with a baby calf and there was nothing he could do to stop him.

After some moments, Ambrose smirked, the smile not reaching his cold, glittering black eyes. "Guard." He lifted his own sword in demonstration. Glitch swallowed and copied him.

Suddenly, faster than Glitch would have believed possible, Ambrose went from being ten feet away to ten inches away. Glitch had only barely gotten his sword up in time to block. Sparks flew as metal screeched against metal and the sheer force of Ambrose's charging attack knocked Glitch backwards and he fell over his feet, landing on his back in the cool sand. He rolled out of the way and onto his feet just in time to avoid a downward sweep of the silver blade. He lunged at Ambrose, who deflected his attack almost casually and kicked him hard in the ribs. Glitch fell with a gasp, breath whooshing out of his lungs.

"Word of advice, keep your feet underneath you. Helps you keep your balance, makes it easier to recover."

"I'll keep that in mind, thanks." Glitch rolled over and struggled to his feet, wheezing, but keeping his sword between him and Ambrose. He slashed at Ambrose, but it was easily blocked.

Ambrose sighed. "Are you going to follow through, or are you going to just stand there?"

Glitch grit his teeth and attacked again. Ambrose parried and back stepped, staying just out of reach of Glitch's thrusting attacks. Glitch continued to swing his sword, and Ambrose glowered while he blocked and parried. "You know that the purpose of attacking is to hit me and not my sword, right?"

Glitch was concentrating very hard, sweat beading on his brow and upper lip. This was so much easier when he and Cain had fought the long coats. He didn't have to think about what he was doing, he just had to move with the rhythm. Here, he couldn't rely on that. Lightning arced across the sky, illuminating the world in harsh white light. Glitch's chest hurt horribly and he wrapped his free arm around his torso. Maybe Ambrose had broken his ribs with that kick earlier. "I'm TRYING to hit you, but you're making it difficult."

"Might have an easier time if you stop waving that sword like feather duster, Glitch."

Glitch only barely had a second to be angry before he noticed that Ambrose's stance had changed. Suddenly Glitch was falling back under a powerful and impossibly fast onslaught of blows. Ambrose's sword was a never ending blur of silver and Glitch fell back, unsure how he was even holding him off. Blow after blow reigned down on him and sweat dripped into his eyes, stinging and blinding him.

_This is it_, he thought. _I'm about to die._

Ambrose caught Glitch's hilt with his sword and twisted his blade, sending Glitch's sword flying. Glitch fell to the ground, a silver point pressed to his throat. Lightning flashed again and Glitch's chest felt like it was on fire. The sword point wavered as Ambrose's attention was diverted to the sky. Now was his chance. Remembering how he had beaten Ambrose the last time they fought, Glitch imagined his sword in his hand and there it was, cold and hard in his grip. He didn't think, didn't hesitate. He lunged upward, sinking the tip of the sword deep into Ambrose's belly. Ambrose groaned and his face twisted in pain. He opened his eyes Glitch met them look for look. The expressions on both of their faces was undecipherable. Ambrose raised his sword, ready to stab it downwards. Glitch shoved again, sliding his sword into Ambrose all the way to the hilt. Ambrose gasped and lowered his own sword, setting the point in the sand and using it to support his weight. Glitch let go of the hilt and scrambled backwards in the sand, breathing heavily. Ambrose staggered.

It was hard to say who was more shocked by what had happened, Ambrose or Glitch. Glitch stared at Ambrose, horrified at what he had done. Ambrose stared down at the hilt buried in his abdomen, then he smiled and sank to his knees. He looked at Glitch, wry amusement shining in his eyes. "Bravo, Glitch. I can honestly say that you have thoroughly succeeded in surprising me."

The warm breeze twirled around them, teasing silvery whiffs of sand into the air. The waves pounded on the shore, their steady roar filling Glitch's ears. Lightning flashed again and Glitch looked up at the sky. There wasn't a cloud up there... lightning needed clouds, didn't it?

Ambrose laughed quietly, looking upwards. "I think your girlfriend is trying to rescue you."

"DG? She's causing the lightning?"

"The heart beats according to an electrical rhythm. You stopped our heart. It makes sense to use electrical pulses to start it again. Good idea, can't say that I would have thought of it myself, though... Agh..." His face twisted again in pain and he bent forward to hide his grimace.

"Ambrose? Are you okay?" Tears formed in Glitch's eyes and he almost started forward to help, but the strangeness of the whole situation kept him frozen to the spot.

Ambrose chuckled and leaned back again. "Glitch, why are you even asking me that?"

"Because I don't want you to die. I didn't want to hurt you."

"We don't always get the things we want, Glitch." Lightning struck again and Ambrose looked up at the sky, face pale and bright in the moonlight, a serene expression on his face. The wind picked up, bringing in new scents from a distant garden, jasmine and lilies now, ruffling their hair and clothes. Ambrose groaned as he began pulling the sword slowly out of his body. With a gasp of pain, it came free and he dropped it in favor for clutching at the wound in his belly. "A black wind begins to blow... I think you should be leaving, now. Your princess is eager to see that you're alright."

"Are you coming too?"

"I'll be along shortly. I'd like to stay for a bit. It's peaceful here in the starlight, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yeah, I guess. You will be coming though, won't you? You aren't just going to leave me, are you?"

"Of course I'm not going to leave you, Glitch. You're just starting to get interesting. You'd better hurry up, though. It's rude to keep a lady waiting."

Glitch stood and brushed the sand off his trousers. "Are you sure you'll be alright?"

"I'll be fine. See you soon." Ambrose laid back on the sand and closed his eyes, his face a stark and ghostly white in the moonlight.

Glitch started forward. "Ambrose..." Then the world began swirling and he watched as Ambrose and the beach and the night sky all shimmered and dissolved into impossibly bright light...

* * *

The light was painfully bright and stung his eyes badly when he opened them. Thousands of needles felt like they were stabbing him in the eyes and temples, his chest felt like a vice had squeezed him until his ribs had shattered and his throat was dry and felt like the inside had been scoured with sand paper.

"Glitch! Glitch, thank God you're alive!" Thin arms grabbed him and pulled him up and he was being held tightly against a very warm and soft body.

"Deeg?"

"Don't ever scare me like that again!" Her face was pressed to his and her hands were in his hair and holding him close and then she kissed him and he could taste salty tears on her lips.

Glitch blinked, trying to bring the blurry world into focus. "You're crying... don't cry, doll." He brought his hand up and brushed the hair from her face and he could see her grief stricken eyes, bright as cornflowers. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with her hand.

"I thought I'd killed you. When I slapped you, and you stopped breathing, I thought..." A sob tore from her throat. "I thought that I did something to your brain, that I'd knocked something loose and that you were going to die because I'd killed you and I was so terrified I was going to lose you, Glitch!"

Glitch wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth. "It's okay, honey. You're not going to lose me, Deeg, I promise." The blurriness in his vision had mostly abated and Glitch looked around, seeing Cain's worried face not far away. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning forward, elbows propped on his knees.

"You gave us quite a scare, headcase."

"I didn't mean to. It was the only way I could stop him from hurting her..."

DG pulled back and looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"He was going to hit you. After you slapped him, he was going to throw you across the room. I had to stop him, Deeg."

"Glitch..." DG held his face in her hands. "My hero, my love... Thank you for saving me. But if you ever... EVER... hurt yourself like that again, even if it is to save me... So help me, I will never speak to you again. Is that clear?"

Glitch looked away. "I don't think you need to worry about that, DG..." A tear tracked slowly down his cheek. "I think... I think I killed him."

* * *

It was peaceful here in the moonlight. The waves beat gently at the silvery sand and the stars shone so bright Ambrose could see up and down the empty beach for miles. The silvery water swirled around Ambrose's ankles and the water was warm, as was the sweet evening breeze that wrapped around him, smelling like jasmine and lilies and sea water.

He stood there, breathing in the night air, the roar of the waves, the warm water at his feet. It was nice. Pleasant. Even if it wasn't real... It was wonderfully pleasant.

One second he was alone on the beach, the next he could see a man walking along the shoreline towards him. Ambrose wasn't in a hurry. The man would get here when he got here. In the meantime, he closed his eyes and tilted his face to the sky, drinking in the moonlight like a fine wine to be savored, like he could absorb it through his skin.

"Ambrose."

The voice was familiar. Achingly familiar. Intimately familiar. Ambrose's eyes shot open in surprise.

"Daniel."

"Yeah, it's me."

His face was just as Ambrose remembered, strong and sensitive with azure blue eyes and reddish gold hair.

"You aren't really here..." The shock was horrible, the pain unbearable. He shook his head, rationalizing, not letting himself get his hopes up. "You're nothing but a hallucination. A product of oxygen deprivation and misfiring synapses. You're not real."

"It's possible. You know better than anyone the power of the mind."

"I thought I couldn't do this anymore, get lost in fantasy... After my brain got split in half... It takes an imagination, and I'm a little short on that these days."

"It might be because you're dead, puppy."

Ambrose frowned and looked back out at the sea. "That could account for it."

Daniel stepped up behind Ambrose and wrapped his arms around the smaller man. "You don't seem too surprised."

"You would be amazed at what it takes to surprise me these days. And it isn't as if I haven't been dead before."

Daniel's voice was a soothing timbre in his ear. "Tell me."

"The first time was after Leona died. I overdosed on narcotics. Ahamo found me in the lab when I missed her funeral." Ambrose pulled Daniel's arms tighter around him.

"Second time?"

"Second time was after you died. Hit the drugs and alcohol pretty hard. Then DG died not even a week later... wasn't planning on coming back out after that. Ahamo found me again. They kept me under pretty tight scrutiny for a while. How did that happen, anyway?" Ambrose turned his head to see Daniel's face.

"How did what happen?"

"You were always such a strong swimmer..."

"I saw Az drowning in the lake. She was screaming for help. I had to save her. Had to try."

"They told me it was a boating accident. I think if I had known... I don't know. If I'd had more proof, they might have believed me. I might have been able to do something. Change something. I don't know."

"You can't change the past, puppy."

"It's just like you, though."

"What's that?"

Ambrose was relaxing back into Daniel's embrace. "Dying nobly to save someone you love. Sort of reminds me of how we met."

"As I recall, I thought you were a bit of an obnoxious prick at the time. Love had nothing to do with it."

"And you saved me anyway. It was very sweet."

"Ambrose, you hardly needed saving."

"I had a shattered leg and the tunnel was collapsing."

"You rescued me from a minotaur. What was I supposed to do?"

"Leave me on the floor to bleed?" Daniel just shook his head and held him tighter. Ambrose smiled and looked up at the stars, his lover's arms wrapped around him. "I wish I could stay here with you forever."

"You can't, puppy."

"How long do I have?"

"Not long. You've only been dead a few seconds, but there's a lot we need to talk about."

"Seems like it's been hours."

"Mind can play tricks on you. But you know that."

"Yes. That I do."

Soft lips pressed against his cheek. "Sit down and have a cuddle with me." Strong arms pulled him down onto the cool sand and gathered him up and Ambrose felt like he was home. So comforting and so wonderful did it feel that tears sprung to his eyes at the thought of having to leave this perfect moment. "Don't cry, puppy, you know you can't stay."

"I miss you, Daniel."

"I miss you too. And you'll be with me again sometime, but that's no reason why you can't live while you're alive."

"That's a little redundant, don't you think?"

"And you're dodging, don't you think?"

"I'm alive. I'm living."

"In fear."

"I'm not afraid of anything."

"Except losing control."

"What is with you people and harping on that one little thing?"

"I'm not the only one, then?"

"DG found out. She won't let me forget it. Glitch mentioned it, too... Where is he? He was supposed to be taking care of this whole dying business."

"He is. He's waiting for you to come back. It's taking some time for the oxygen to return to your brain. In the meantime, you've got me for company. Tell me about him."

"Glitch. He's... Well, what can I say? He's the other half of my brain. He's the person you fell in love with, Daniel. The happy one. The one that everyone likes. The one that I can't ever be."

"Has it occurred to you that maybe I fell in love with you because you do so much for so many people and still worry that it's never enough?"

"I'm told I can be a bit of an asshole."

"And I loved you anyway. DG can do the same."

"She loves Glitch."

"She loves you both. Why are you so afraid of that?"

"What makes you think I'm afraid?"

"Because I know you, puppy." Warm arms held him tighter.

"You calling me a coward, Danny-boy?"

"I don't think anyone could call you a coward, love. I think you have some emotional issues that you like to keep on the back burner. She's not going to disappear on you if you love her back, you know."

"Easy thing for you to say, but I loved you back and you aren't exactly hanging around, are you?"

"That's not fair, Ambrose, and you know it."

"It's not cheating, either. You know what they say; all's fair in love and war."

"True. But I need you to start listening to me, Ambrose. It's important."

"What have I got to lose?"

"Your alter ego just tried to murder you. Twice. Thought I'd mention that... Speaking of, what was that second time about?"

"What? The part where Glitch stabbed me?"

"Yeah, that part. I saw the whole thing. You could have skewered him right off the bat. Why didn't you?"

"That wouldn't have achieved anything."

"It would have proved your point."

"I still proved my point, but I achieved something a little more important."

"What could that have been?"

"He scared me, Daniel. I don't want him getting it into his head that every time we have a problem, he can just cut off our oxygen supply to get his way."

"So... you brought him here. Oooookay... I guess that makes sense. Up until the part where you didn't skewer him right off the bat."

"He wouldn't have learned anything if I'd done that."

"I still don't see what letting him run you through could have taught him."

"And that is why you can't beat me at chess, darling. You don't see the whole game board. If he thinks that I'm not as much of a threat to him here, then he won't be afraid to face me here. Here, I can take whatever he cares to throw at me and brush it off like its nothing. A stab wound? Sure, it's uncomfortable, but it can't kill me, where as in the real world, if he pulls another stunt like the one he just did..." Ambrose trailed off, the memory of the terror he had felt, the helplessness, making him cold inside. "There was nothing I could do, Daniel... And the next time, he might succeed a little more permanently than I strictly feel comfortable with."

Daniel sighed thoughtfully, pressing the side of his face against Ambrose's "Would that really change anything?"

"If I was dead, yes, that would change something. I don't really want to be dead. I wouldn't mind too terribly if it happened, but that's not the same as wanting it to."

"Living isn't the same as being alive. What makes you think you aren't dead already?"

"That's probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say."

"Unfortunately for you, I'm just an extension of your imagination. So... technically that's the stupidest thing you've heard yourself say."

"Is it just me, or did we already go over this?"

"I need you to take it to heart because I may not get another chance to tell you."

Ambrose was silent for a moment, working that around in his brain. "I'm not going to see you again, am I?"

"Probably not. Not until you die again a little more permanently."

"Something to look forward to, I guess."

"Ambrose..."

"DG is nice. She's wonderful, but she's not the same as you."

"I would hope not. But she loves you."

"She shouldn't. I'm not a lovable guy. I'm willful to a fault, I'm difficult, and pretentious. I hate most people with a passion, not to mention I'm a cold-blooded killer. There is nothing about me that she should love and I don't understand why she would."

"Can you really think so little of yourself? And so little of me that I would have devoted myself entirely to the man you've described?"

"Daniel..."

"People love you. You don't have to be perfect, puppy, you just have to accept it. You need to accept it."

"I don't think I can love her back... not the same way I loved you."

"That's the beauty of the thing. It doesn't have to be the same. You aren't replacing me, Ambrose. I know that, believe me, I do. I just want you to be happy."

Ambrose sighed and drew a shape in the sand with the heel of his foot. "Happy is as happy does and we're all happy just because..."

Daniel hugged him tighter and kissed the top of his hair. "Only a nut ball like you can recite something like that and sound like you're being marched to the gallows while doing it."

"I love you Daniel. I don't want to have to say goodbye again." The familiar aching pain in his chest was choking him, making it hard to breathe.

"Then don't. Say 'goodnight' and I'll see you when you wake up."

Ambrose laughed sadly, tears in his eyes. "Goodnight, Danny-boy."

"Sweet dreams, puppy." Soft lips pressed against his own and Ambrose kissed him back like a man dying of thirst taking his last drink of water as the peaceful world around him began to fade away and dissolve into nothingness.

* * *

Much later that night, when Glitch was alone in his room trying desperately to listen inside his head for a familiar voice, a sudden aching sadness filled him and he began to cry. He couldn't explain the hollow misery, or the hot flood of tears, or the wrenching soul twisting sobs that tore from his body. He just let it happen, sitting on the floor with his knees pulled to his chest, shaking and crying, howling with a desperate intense pain that he didn't even know that he felt.

He stayed like that for minutes or hours, he couldn't tell which. Then a quiet voice whispered in the back of his mind...

_Hey, Glitch...?_

_Ambrose! Where have you been? I was worried sick about you!_

_I know. I've been here... thinking... _

_Really? What about?_

_You, me, us. Could you, uh... could you do me a favor?_

_Sure. What do you need?_

_I think I could really use a hug, right now..._

Glitch was a little taken aback. It was Ambrose that was hurting so badly, that was making them both cry so hard! He hadn't thought that he could feel so much heart wrenching pain because he couldn't. He wasn't capable of it. But Ambrose could...

It explained a lot. He wondered why he had never felt any of these feelings before. But then, this was Ambrose. Ambrose wouldn't have let him feel them, but for some reason, right now, it was too much for him to hold onto and still, Glitch suspected he was only getting a small trickle of what Ambrose was feeling. He was trying to shield him. Even after what Glitch had done today, Ambrose was still trying to protect him, even if he was failing to keep the pain all to himself.

_Sure, Ambrose. Hugs are easy._

Glitch tried to smile through the tears that still streamed down his face. He would just have to prove to Ambrose that it was alright. That he didn't have to be strong all the time. Glitch could be strong for them some of the time. He did his best to send every warm and happy thought, every wonderful feeling he could remember to the dark corner of his mind where Ambrose had been hiding. He thought of daisy's and hot chocolate and kittens and sunny days and muglug soup and DG's smile and being safe and warm and cared for. He thought of all these things as hard as he could for as long as he could.

Just before they both fell asleep, Glitch could hear Ambrose's grateful voice.

_Thank you..._


	13. Chapter 13

Not What He Seems Part 13  
By Phantaz-magoria

A/N: Sorry I'm late guys! It's been a ridiculously long week and that last chapter took so much effort! But, then I got seven reviews for it in one day and it made it all better =) It's just hard to follow up something like that. Hope you all enjoy this one just as much. Hugs to everyone!

* * *

"I don't want to do this."

"It'll be fine."

"I look stupid."

"You look fine."

"I look better in black."

"Blue suits you, too."

"I hate my hair."

"Not much we can do about that."

"Shave it off?"

"Not gonna happen."

"It looks stupid."

"It's fine."

"I look stupid."

"We've been over this."

"Nothing's changed."

"You used to like balls."

"I used to pretend to like balls."

"Why would you pretend to like balls?"

"Makes it easier to keep track of potential assassins, spies, rebels, things like that."

"Unfortunately, I don't think we'll be having any assassination attempts tonight, and if we do, Cain's got it covered this time."

"More's the pity."

"Why? You'd rather have one happen or you'd rather deal with it yourself?"

"Both. They make for an exciting evening."

"What happens if you don't stop it in time?"

"If I fail, you mean?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. It's never happened before."

"That's a lie."

"Prove it."

"You have to have failed at something sometime."

"Kinda like how you fail at life?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Funny."

"I don't. I haven't. And there is absolutely no proof to refute me. If there was, I've long since had it destroyed."

"If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence that suggests you tried?"

"Something like that."

"That's a cop out."

"But it works."

"You can tell me the truth."

"Why would I do that?"

"If you can't tell me, who can you tell?"

"My psychiatrist."

"You don't have one."

"It's on my to-do list."

"We need to work on your people skills."

"I have people skills. Point me at a person and they'll be dead before your finger's straight. That takes skill and it involves people. I have mad people skills."

"Different type of people skills. I'm talking about things like dancing."

"I don't dance."

"You do too."

"Let me rephrase. When I dance, it's with a naked blade in my hand and usually as a precursor to the act of disaquainting a man with his entrails."

"You are a scary, sick individual. When I say dance, I mean waltz. Tango. Cha-cha. Samba even. Any of those ring a bell?"

"I don't dance."

"It's easy. It's all about rhythm and you have plenty of that."

"Correction. You have rhythm, I have long division."

"Well, then that's easy! Forget rhythm, dancing is all about counting. The waltz, for instance: one, two, three, one, two, three. Rinse and repeat. Easy. Just keep track of the numbers, you should enjoy it."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather... you know you would have a much better time than me."

"I've told you before, Ambrose. This will be good for you."

"And I've told you before, I don't want to do this, Glitch."

"I think you mean that you're afraid to."

"I'm not afraid of anything."

"Except failure."

"Failure is a sore subject with me. I suggest you drop it."

"You can't fail at going to a ball."

"Drop it."

"Alright. Alright. I mean, it seems like a good strategy and all. You don't have to worry about failing if you never try. But then you never succeed at anything, either."

"I hate you."

"Ditto."

"Next you'll be telling me, 'Don't try. Just do.'"

"The thought had crossed my mind."

"No, the thought had crossed MY mind. You were just eavesdropping."

"Does it matter as long as one of us thinks it?"

"I suppose not. This outfit is really stupid."

"You look fine."

"I look really stupid."

"You look fine. Besides, nobody cares. The people that do care don't care and everyone else that would care you don't care about anyway so why care if anyone cares what you look like?"

"You just took a very personal attitude of mine and Glitchified it. That's impressive."

"Really? You understood what I was trying to say?"

"There's only one person in that ballroom who's opinion matters to us and she knows how stupid I look in this outfit already. Everyone else can take a good long suck on the end of my sword." Glitch guffawed and giggled helplessly. Ambrose frowned, thinking about what he had just said. "The metal one, incidentally, if that's what you're giggling about."

"You re-Ambrosed my Glitch-speak. I think that's impressive too."

"I really want to cut my hair."

"Then people would know you weren't me. We have to keep that secret still."

"I know that, but it doesn't make me any less nauseated when I look in the mirror."

"I don't think the dread locks look too bad."

"Only because you don't remember how good we look with short hair and neat clothes. Simple is by far more elegant."

"Well, nothing I say is going to make you feel better, so why don't you just stop bitching and go?"

"Growing some back bone, finally?"

"I'm just tired. I want this to be over as much as you do and sitting here complaining isn't going to get it over with any faster."

"I just wanted to see how long it took until you snapped."

"You what?"

"I just wanted to see if I could drive you nuts. Mission accomplished. I'll be going now."

"I hate you, Ambrose. Have fun!"

"Not likely, but thanks for the sentiment."

Ambrose sighed as he stared at his reflection and tugged at a strand of hair for what must have been the millionth time. He smiled his best 'Glitch' smile. His reflection, dapper in white trousers and shiny black calf high boots and a royal blue coat with gold trimming, winked back at him.

"Prince Charming, indeed."

* * *

The ballroom was gay and swirling with colors and people. A full orchestra was playing a lively waltz and hundreds of couples filled the dance floor.

There was a doorman announcing guests as they arrived at the top of the grand staircase. It was quite a spectacular affair, truth be told. Ambrose was amused to note that the Queen had decided not to take him up on his suggestion of decorating in black. Instead, the whole room was resplendent in tones of gold and red and cream. Another source of amusement. He wasn't even wearing his customary black and gray and he still couldn't blend in.

He caught a glimpse of his reflection in one of the mirrored walls. He supposed the blue coat didn't look terribly bad. Then he saw another reflection and grinned.

"Your Highness, I hope you aren't trying to sneak up on me."

The look on DG's face was priceless when Ambrose turned to face her. She had, in fact, been attempting to sneak up on him.

"How did you know I was here?"

"How? I'm sneaky. That's how." He looked her up and down, drinking in her beauty. She was splendid in a brilliant scarlet gown that hugged and accentuated her figure before flaring out at the bottom. She blushed a little at his appreciative gaze.

"I've been waiting for you to come down, I was beginning to think you'd skipped out on us. Come to think of it, I didn't hear them announce you..."

"That's because I'm super sneaky."

"You know, as my official royal advisor and all, I think it's your duty to advise me on how you do that. Just in case I need to make a sneaky escape my own self one of these days."

"I could tell you, but you would laugh."

"I could make it an order."

"I climbed down the trellis from the library to the garden, then came in through the kitchen and that serving entrance over there." Ambrose pointed.

"You did not!"

"Suit yourself." Ambrose shrugged. His attention drifted past her and DG turned her head to see what he was looking at. She couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. When she turned back to him, he was gone. He had disappeared as quickly and silently as a shadow. She almost called out for him, but stopped herself. She looked around anxiously for him. He was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly a flash of red in her peripheral vision and she could feel a body pressed against her back. His arm was around her and he was holding a beautiful red rose in front of her. "People don't see me when I don't want them to." He pressed a kiss to her cheek.

DG smiled and relaxed in his embrace. "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry."

"Pardon?" He wasn't entirely sure where that had come from.

"I'm sorry I slapped you last week." Ambrose chuckled and DG turned in his arms to look at him. "I'm serious! I've been waiting for you to come down so I could apologize."

"You've waited a whole week to apologize for slapping me. I find that a little amusing."

"I would have done it sooner, but you haven't been here. I could have told Glitch to tell you that I was sorry, but I wanted to tell you myself and you haven't been speaking to me and I thought it was because of that. I mean, I know it was a stupid, childish thing to do and you have every right to flirt with Cain and I don't know why it bothered me so much that day. I think it might have been nerves and hormones and craziness and I shouldn't have taken it out on you and then you almost died and it was my fault and if you want to flirt with Cain you can, I just don't want to lose you."

"DG, you're being silly. Stop." His voice was harsh.

DG looked away, biting her lip.

Ambrose sighed and turned her around so she was facing him. "What happened last week was an ongoing conflict between Glitch and myself that would have come to a head sooner or later regardless of you or anything that you did or did not do. It's very silly for you to blame yourself."

"If it hadn't been for me-"

"Let me explain something to you, kitten. I've said it before, but I seem to keep having to remind you that when I'm not locked in my lab pretending to be a mad scientist, I spend my days walking around this place as the resident insane genius. Add to that the fact that Glitch, charming and sweet as he is, is a full blown drama queen who is a few cards short of a full deck, a couple crayons short of a rainbow, a few watts short of a light bulb, one twist short of a slinky. Give him a penny for his thoughts and you would get change back. Together, we are the text book definition of lunacy, as in bound for the nut house, off our rocker, completely one hundred percent psychotic. In a word, wacko. Now. Is it really any surprise that a simple argument between the two of us would resolve itself in such an extremely melodramatic, day time soap opera, nonsensical way?"

"I had to shock you four times to get your heart started again."

"Then I would say that we are very fortunate in that our battle royale happened with you in the room. In which case, I should be thanking you, NOT accepting your apology."

"Ambrose..."

"It was necessary. It would have happened sooner or later. We've reestablished some boundaries and are both much happier now. Would you care to dance?"

DG laughed. "You're changing the subject a little, aren't you?"

"If you don't want to dance, all you have to do is say 'no'. It won't hurt my feelings any, I can assure you."

"I would be delighted." DG smiled at him before kissing him lightly on the tip of his nose. "I hear you dance beautifully."

Ambrose smirked. "Glitch dances beautifully. I make no such pretenses." Still, he took her hand gently and led her out to the middle of the dance floor.

His hand was cool in hers and his other lightly rested against her waist as he twirled her around and led her in a very simple version of the waltz.

DG laughed. "I guess you were right about Glitch dancing better. For someone as graceful as you are, I guess I thought it would come naturally to you."

He didn't respond right away and when he did, he sounded distracted. "Sorry. Concentrating." And sure enough, she could see him muttering to himself just under his breath, "One, two, three... one, two, three..."

DG looked away trying to hide her grin. "You don't like dancing, do you?"

"What gave me away?" His movements were very stiff and precise; perfectly measured angles and timing.

"You seem like one of those wind up toys who's gears only move a certain way."

"I have an eidetic memory."

"What does that have to do with dancing."

"I read a book about dancing and it has figures and diagrams in it that I can see in my head. I have every step planned out, charted, and plotted and deviating from the plan is going to make me trip over something."

"No wonder you move like a wooden doll. Where's the rhythm? The spontaneity?"

"I told Glitch you would rather spend the evening with him, but he didn't believe me."

"I never said I didn't want to spend the evening with you."

"Well. He is the spontaneous one. I think you would have more fun dancing with the man who's hips swivel on ten axis."

DG grinned. "He is a nice dancer. And he is fun to be around. But so are you. I think that spending tonight with either one of you makes me a lucky girl."

Ambrose smiled and closed his eyes, tilting his head as if he was listening to something. "You just made Glitch feel warm and fuzzy. He says he's lucky to have you, too."

"You two have come a long way, haven't you? When you started, you couldn't even talk to each other, now you can do it in your head."

"Indeed? Yes, well... It's easier to tolerate him when he isn't constantly humming 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.'"

DG could see through his gruff expression to a glimmer of something. "You're starting to like him aren't you?"

"Nope."

"Liar."

"Can't prove a thing, kitten."

"What's so wrong about liking yourself?"

"Name one guy in the world who's ever admitted to actually liking his obnoxious younger brother and I might concede, MIGHT mind you, that he may perhaps be growing on me."

DG nodded. "Okay. You'll have to give me time to do some research, but I'll find one."

"And it has to be while they're alive. Everyone likes their family after they've died."

"That's fairly morbid of you."

"Speaking of morbid, weren't we supposed to announce that engagement thing tonight?"

"Yes, we are actually."

"What time is that supposed to happen?"

"I don't know. In about an hour or so?"

"An hour or so?"

DG laughed at the expression on his face. "What?"

"Oh, I don't know. If I said I was going to blow up the building in an hour or so, would you be satisfied with that or would you want a little more detail?"

"Blowing up a building and announcing an engagement aren't exactly the same thing."

"You're right. One's exciting and the other is rather not."

"What do I get if I can guess which one you prefer?"

"A night of intense orgasmic pleasure."

"You shouldn't promise what you can't deliver."

"I find your lack of faith in me disturbing."

"I'm just commenting on the fact that you keep promising and promising and have yet to follow up on any of it."

"Just be patient, little minx. Anticipation is nine tenths of desire."

"Well, maybe if you gave me a hint of what I'm anticipating..."

Ambrose kissed her and pulled her against him, waltz completely forgotten. She moaned and felt her knees go week. It was fortunate that he was holding her up. It was amazing how mind-blowing Ambrose's kisses could be.

The music ended and all the couples stopped and clapped for the orchestra.

Ambrose's eyes were sparkling as he looked deep into hers. "Thank you for the dance, kitten. Now, if you don't mind excusing me, I'm going to find a nice curtain to hide behind."

"Why don't you do one better and go get me a glass of champagne?"

Ambrose shook his head and when he opened his eyes again it was Glitch smiling at her. "Sure, Deeg. I don't mind."

"Hey, sweety!" DG kissed him and hugged him tightly. "What happened to Ambrose?"

"I promised him that if he could get through one dance, I'd let him hide for a while. And he really, really, really wants to go hide, but hiding is boring, especially when we could be having a fun time with you. So we compromised. He's hiding and I'm here and we're both happy!" Glitch's hand came up to tenderly stroke her cheek. "You are so gorgeous tonight."

"Thanks. You look pretty fantastic yourself."

"I picked it out! Ambrose wanted to wear black, but I wouldn't let him. Hey, wanna know something funny? In the five annuals before we split up, the Queen actually made a royal decree that he wasn't allowed to wear black anymore because he was so depressing to be around and she thought it would be good for him to wear some color. He was sooooo angry! Well, you can kind of understand his point of view, because, well, he was still in mourning for you and for Daniel, but from the Queen's perspective, I mean, he can be a little intense when he's brooding. But can you imagine? There is actually a law written about what Ambrose is allowed to wear. Isn't that funny?"

DG couldn't help giggling. It was rather funny, especially the thought of what his face must have looked like when he'd been informed of the new legislation.

"How did you find all that out?"

"He told me! We've actually been talking a lot more this last week. And hey! Guess what! He doesn't call me stupid anymore!"

"That's wonderful, Glitch." She hugged him tightly. "I'm really happy for you."

"I love you so much, Deeg! I don't think Ambrose will come out for the announcement, but I'll be happy to stand up there with you."

"I know you will. I love you too, Glitch." She kissed him softly on the lips. "Now, how about that champagne?"

"Yeah, sure!" He smiled infectiously before bouncing off to the buffet table that had been set up along one wall.

Glitch was only mildly distracted by the mountains and piles of truly decadent foods. It all looked so scrumptious, so very tasty. His stomach rumbled hungrily at the various pastries and appetizers, stuffed mushrooms and crab cakes, cuts of roasted meats of all kinds, fruit tarts and dishes of every type imaginable.

DG wanted champagne. There were glasses of that set up at the end of the table. He picked up two glasses.

"Ambrose!"

Glitch looked up at the unexpected voices calling his counterpart's name. Three men he didn't recognize, who were smiling but didn't look very friendly, were closing in on him. He held the two champagne glasses in his hands and backed up against the table.

One of the men, he looked to be in his mid-thirties, was obviously the leader of the bunch. He clapped Glitch on the shoulder. "Why, if it isn't the Queen's own headcase! How have you been? Busy? No time for your friends anymore?"

"I'm sorry, do I know... you...?"

"Sure you do, Ambrose! We're your old pals, remember?"

"No, I can't say that I do. I'm Glitch, now."

"It's me! Willoughby! And Chester and Kelvin! Are you saying you really don't recognize us?"

Glitch tried to smile his easy smile, but there was something about this situation that had him slightly unnerved.

"I'm sorry, I really don't."

He was almost tempted to ask Ambrose if he knew these men, but Glitch had promised that after Ambrose had danced that one dance, Glitch wouldn't bother him for at least thirty minutes to give him time to recoup before the next one.

One of the other men, Chester maybe, smiled a cruel smile. "Well, I guess it's to be expected. I mean you do have only half a brain, after all. You're probably using what little you have left to remember more important things."

Willoughby laughed. "Hey, what was that project we were working on forever ago? It had something to do with equations. Do you remember, Ambrose?"

"No, I- I- I don't. I'm sorry."

The man put an arm around Glitch's shoulders, an unfriendly smile on his face. "Well, no matter. It was only one of the most important discoveries in the last century. Why don't you tell us what the Queen has you working on now? It's probably MUCH more important, wouldn't you think, gentlemen?"

This was met by a resounding chorus of laughter and agreement.

"I'm, uh... Well, I'm building a, uh, a music box-thing."

"A music box!"

The group howled with laughter and guffaws.

"The Queen's Head Advisor, the great and astounding Ambrose Agincourt, is building a music box!"

"What a joke!"

"My name is Glitch, now."

"Well, that's certainly obvious. You are a glitch, Glitch. You're erroneous data in an otherwise logical system. It really and truly astounds me! Do you really think that you're doing any good at all as the Queen's Advisor? She needs someone with a brain, someone who can make decisions, who can remember things, people. What she doesn't need is a music box maker."

"And he thinks he can marry the Princess!"

"Come on, Glitch... You don't deserve her."

"Marrying a headcase!"

"She would be the laughing stock of every kingdom around!"

"Why don't you do everyone a favor and call this off before you embarrass yourself. And the royal family."

Glitch turned his face away, blushing furiously and trying to hide the tears that were forming in his eyes. "DG loves me..."

"She feels sorry for you." The hand on his shoulder gave a reassuring squeeze. "I know you think we're saying these things to be mean, but we only want to help. We used to be friends, Ambrose."

"Glitch."

"Whatever. We're just looking out for your own welfare. They're only keeping you around because they pity you. The Queen and the Princess both. It would be better for everyone if you left."

Glitch couldn't fight the tears back anymore. "Th-th-that's not true!"

"Sure it is. It wouldn't hurt so much if it wasn't true, would it?"

"Ambrose..." The name was a barely whispered cry for help just before Glitch blacked out.

The men that had been tormenting Glitch had only the barest hint that something was different if they had known to look for the shifting color of his eyes or the straightening of his posture.

'Glitch' smiled. "You know... I think you might be right."

Willoughby frowned. "You do?"

"Yes! I don't know why it never occurred to me before! You don't want me to marry DG because you want me all to yourself!" Ambrose flung his arms around Willoughby, spilling the champagne that he still held everywhere. He pressed his body completely against the surprised and taken off guard man, using his opportunity to kiss him full and deep on the lips.

Willoughby recovered and shoved Ambrose away in disgust, trying to spit the saliva out of his mouth. "What in Ozma's name is wrong with you, freak?!"

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't even think about your boyfriend here! Do you think he would be jealous if we were lovers? Oh, wait. My mistake. That's just the ass you rode in here on."

"You little shit!" Chester charged forward and Ambrose sidestepped using the man's momentum to slam his head into the table then throw him to the floor.

Willoughby took a swing and Ambrose ducked under his arm, grabbing his wrist and pulling the arm straight behind him. A quick kick between the man's shoulder blades while his arm was held straight back was enough to break, or at least badly dislocate, his shoulder.

Willoughby fell to the floor with a scream as the third man, Kelvin, tried to grab him around the neck. Ambrose collapsed to the floor, knowing full well the man behind him couldn't support his body weight and the arm around his throat slipped away. He twisted as he landed and swept Kelvin's legs out from under him. His head cracked loudly against the floor when he landed. Ambrose reached over and grabbed his hair, pulling his head up enough that he could slam it down against the floor again.

Ambrose shot to his feet and twisted to face Chester who was only now just recovering. He smiled almost cruelly and lifted his hands in a 'Come Hither' gesture. Chester snarled and took a step forward. He didn't get very far. Ambrose's hand shot out from about waist level and caught Chester across the jaw in an open handed slap that made him drop like a stone.

Of the three, the only one that wasn't completely unconscious was Willoughby. He was curled into a ball, cradling his broken arm and sobbing. Ambrose knelt next to him, eyes sparking like molten copper. "Now how about an apology before I glitch and forget why I'm not killing you?"

Willoughby's words were choked with tears, quiet gasps of pain. "You'll pay for this, you son of a bitch."

"Somehow, that just isn't a good enough apology, try again."

"Screw you."

Ambrose smiled a cold and heartless smile and casually took Willoughby's hand and twisted it hard until his wrist snapped. The man screamed. "Alright! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Are you certain? You don't seem very sorry."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please!"

"Better." Ambrose dropped Willoughby's hand. "It might behoove you to find a nice out of the way hole to crawl into and hide for the next few annuals. Because if I do see you again... It won't be pretty. And I promise you this, FRIEND. I will remember you this time."

Ambrose stood and turned away, leaving the man crying on the floor behind him. It was then that he noticed that the entire ball room had frozen to a standstill. The couples on the floor had stopped dancing, the orchestra had stopped playing. DG herself stood frozen to her spot in shock. Ambrose cleared his throat and carefully grabbed two new glasses of champagne and walked daintily up to her with an apologetic smile.

"Something wrong, honey doll?" The ballroom had picked up a chattering, buzzing sound like angry bees as everyone in the room began to talk amongst themselves.

"Ambrose, what the hell were you thinking?" Her blue eyes were wide with terror.

Ambrose looked away. He sipped his champagne and handed her the other glass.

A crystal clear voice interrupted whatever answer he was about to give. "Gayliach, dear." The Queen stood not too far away, a stony, unreadable expression on her face.

Ambrose bowed low at the waist. "Your Majesty."

Silence arced between the two of them and DG thought she would die from the tension.

Then the Queen sighed and smiled softly. "It's good to see you again, old friend. I would hope that you could tread a little more carefully in the future. You never can tell when there are sharks in the water."

Ambrose nodded. DG couldn't tell if her words were a threat or a warning, but Ambrose seemed to understand what she'd meant.

The Queen turned her sharp lavender eyes to DG. "DG, darling, I expect that you have something to discuss with me later tonight. I will speak to both of you in my study after the ball has ended."

DG looked down at the floor. It was Ambrose who answered. "Yes, your Majesty."

"And have somebody clean up that mess. Unseemly to leave garbage lying about, wouldn't you say?" The Queen swept her skirts around her and left the pair to return to her throne. A casual wave of her hand had the orchestra starting up a new waltz. Soon the couples on the floor began dancing again.

DG put her hand to her forehead trying to ward off the migraine she felt coming on. She gulped her champagne down in one long swallow. "Are you happy now? Our cover's blown."

"They made him cry, DG."

She looked at Ambrose. "What?"

Ambrose shrugged and rolled his shoulders, stretching his neck muscles. "I'm not going to apologize for cracking a few skulls, your Highness. In fact, if they're still in here by the time I get back, I might very well take them out to the gardens for a few hours and dump their bodies in the lake. It all rather depends on how long it takes me to calm Glitch down. Right now, he won't stop crying and I REALLY want to murder somebody. So I'm going to leave and take care of Glitch. And when I come back..." His face twisted in a venomous snarl. "You might get an opportunity to see just how dangerous a man I can be." Ambrose turned to leave.

"Ambrose." DG put her hand on his arm. "Ambrose, wait."

"'What if they were right, what if I am worthless?' If you know how to cure that line of thinking, you're more than welcome to come along."

DG didn't know how to respond and Ambrose pulled away, striding towards the nearest exit, the air crackling around him like a thundercloud.


	14. Chapter 14

Not What He Seems part 14  
by Phantaz-Magoria

A/N: Me and my long delays... sheesh. But in all fairness, I have an end of course exam coming up in the next few weeks that I really need to study for and I've been trying to juggle writing this and my other story and studying for that and oh, my! So, I hate to say this, but I won't be able to update until shortly after Thanksgiving. I'm so sorry! I feel horrible! I've gotten you all hooked and now I leave you dangling! But not to worry, because I will write more, I promise =) My ridiculously long PWP is finally going in a direction and I have no intention of abandoning it just yet! The atrocious poetry in the middle is mine (apologies, btw) and the German slipped in because for some reason I'm obsessed with Cabaret, now (can't imagine why) and I was reading an awesome fanfic about Emcee while I was writing this called Emcee's Confidence (almost cried!). Anyhow, I hope you all enjoy!

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Hours after the ball had ended, DG was dressed in her jeans and leather coat. She'd packed as much as she could into a large knapsack and had ordered her horse and Glitch's to be readied. She wasn't certain how this meeting would turn out, but it didn't hurt to be prepared for a hasty exit just in case.

She wanted to find Glitch and tell him the plan before they met with her mother. He hadn't been in his laboratory or his bedroom. He hadn't been in the ballroom, she was certain of that. He wasn't in the kitchen either. She was quickly running out of places to look when she passed by one of the lesser used drawing rooms and heard the soft sounds of piano coming from within.

DG poked her head in, then smiled and slipped in quietly, making as little sound as she could so as not to disturb Ambrose. It seemed that he had decided to change into more comfortable clothing as well. He had traded his blue jacket and white pants for a white silk shirt and a black vest with matching trousers. He was playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, a very mellow, if somewhat melancholy, sort of song. A glass of what appeared to be whiskey sat on top of the piano next to a full ash tray that held a still lit cigarette. She was certain she hadn't made any noise, but Ambrose turned to look at her all the same. His smile was relaxed, as mellow as the music that sounded from the instrument he played.

DG smiled and walked closer. "Hey. How's Glitch doing?"

"He's sleeping." Ambrose continued to play and tilted his head in a 'Come sit down' gesture. DG sat on the bench next to him, watching his slender fingers trace delicately across the keys.

"How about you? How are you holding up?"

"It's an interesting sensation, playing a lullaby for your alter ego while he cries himself to sleep."

"I guess it would be." She laughed softly. "You know, I kind of envisioned you taking this a little harder, you know? Throwing furniture, pacing, plotting revenge…"

Ambrose didn't look up from his playing and his voice was deceptively calm, "I still have some very strong feelings of slaughterous animosity, but I think I have a reign on them now."

"Slaughterous? I didn't think that was a word."

"It's a few steps up in intensity from murderous. Murderous implies that I merely want to slit somebody's throat. Slaughterous involves the rending of body parts and is therefore much more apt to my mood. If I see those men again, I'm going to cut their livers out with an ice cream scoop and serve them up as a nice pâté foie gras with some crackers."

Ambrose continued to play with his left hand while he picked up the glass that had been sitting on the top of the piano and delicately sipped the amber liquid. He set it back down and continued to play. DG turned her head away from him to look around the room. A sideboard against the wall had a serving tray with clean glasses and a mostly empty crystal decanter. She wondered how full it had been when he'd gotten to this room. Glitch never drank much, and this was the first time she'd seen Ambrose drink at all aside from the glass of champagne in the ballroom.

"What did they say to him? Did he tell you?"

"They told him that you were only marrying him because you felt sorry for him. The Queen only keeps him as Head Advisor because she pities him and that keeping him here in that position was detrimental to the kingdom. They said that an advisor should be able to remember things and that since he couldn't, he was less than worthless. Everyone would be much better off if he wasn't around. They laughed at him."

"But he knows better. He knows that none of that is true."

"No. He doesn't know better. And what is that look for?"

"I tell him all the time that I love him…"

Ambrose sighed and scrunched his face. He stopped playing and used a hand to rub his forehead while he reached for the cigarette. He took a long pull on it then set it back down and dropped his hands to his lap while he looked up at the ceiling and breathed the smoke out. He turned his body to face her more fully. "Yes, he does know that you love him. He thinks he doesn't deserve you. And I wish you better luck than I had in convincing him he's wrong."

He turned back to the piano and resumed playing where he had left off.

"I guess I don't understand why he would believe something like that."

"To all intents and purposes, Glitch has the mentality of a ten year old child. He believes everything anyone tells him." He saw her expression. "No, I'm not saying that to be insulting."

"I don't think Glitch is childish."

"I didn't say he was childish. I said he was child-like."

"What's the difference?"

"One possesses a negative connotation. The other does not. When I say that he is child-like, I'm referring primarily to his innocence of nature. For example. Do the two of you ever talk about having sex?"

"No." She was somewhat thrown off by the question. "But that's not really uncommon between people who haven't had sex yet."

"Does he flirt with you at all?"

"Not like you do, no."

"Hmm. Ever get past the kissing stage?"

"You and I haven't either."

"Let me rephrase. Have you ever kissed him, and I mean really kissed him, without him glitching out in the middle of it?"

DG was silent for some moments, not willing to admit that he was right. "I don't see what you're driving at."

"Aside from the prediction that your wedding night will be woefully short…" Ambrose sighed. "I'm just trying to tell you that he is extremely naive. And childishly innocent. He doesn't understand why people would lie to him. In a way, it's sort of a defense mechanism he developed."

"Usually, they say that NOT trusting people is a defense mechanism."

"Most people don't have traumatizing brain injuries to contend with, either. All of the basic tools a person needs to survive in a cruel world were stolen from him. His past, his future, his sense of self… All of that was gone. The one person in the world you can truly trust to keep you safe is yourself and he couldn't even do that. All he had to protect him was his blind, unshakable faith in the kindness of strangers."

"And I'm guessing that what he couldn't protect himself from, he forgot."

"Exactly. As far as Glitch is concerned, nobody has ever lied to him that he can remember and he's not cynical enough to understand why they would. That and those undereducated meat sacks just happened to pick a topic that, while he doesn't consciously think about it much, is still a deeply rooted fear in the back of his mind. So, it wasn't only that they were lying to him, they were telling him something that he secretly suspected and had been quietly terrified of. He already thinks that he isn't good enough for you, that he doesn't deserve you. They just confirmed his suspicions."

"You told him it was just a bunch of bull shit, though, right?"

"Yes. Yes, I told him. You might need to do the same because I don't think he was listening to me at all."

"Could you wake him up for me, please?"

"I'd rather like to give him another ten minutes or so. He's pretty worn out."

"Okay." DG nodded. She bit her lip. "Could you play something a little happier while we wait?"

She enjoyed listening to the Moonlight Sonata, but given the direction of the conversation, it had become somewhat oppressively sad. Ambrose's expression didn't change, nor did his fingers skip a beat as he slid into a jazzy rendition of the 'Happy Birthday' song. DG smiled and leaned against him, laying her head on his shoulder.

"That's not exactly what I meant."

Ambrose chuckled and began playing Bach's Minuet in G.

DG frowned thoughtfully. "That's better. So here's a question for you…"

"Hmm?"

"How is it that you don't know one of the all-time most famous pieces of literature from the Other Side but you know their music?"

"Would you believe that there was a black market in Central City for this sort of thing?"

DG laughed. "I would believe that if you were looking for something like that, you would find it. So you collect sheet music as well as books and you never once came across Hamlet."

"The man I buy from doesn't always have the most discerning tastes. He usually focuses on acquiring the things he knows I like. Science journals, periodicals. Medical texts. Beethoven. Rachmaninoff. Chopin. National Geographic."

"What aren't you telling me?" DG frowned, raising her eyebrow in a suspicious look. "Why is that such a black market?"

Ambrose gave her a sideways glance. "I think it has something to do with currency and the fact that you Othersiders are somewhat particular about what forms you find acceptable."

"Let me get this straight. You pay a man to steal sheet music and science journals from some poor book seller in Kansas?"

"As an epithet, the term 'Black Market' is very to the point. Nobody ever said it was a legal market."

"You're crazy, you know that?" Ambrose smiled as DG resettled her head on his shoulder. As he finished playing Minuet, he transitioned almost seamlessly into the Sleeping Beauty Waltz.

"I keep trying to tell you and you never believe me…"

"Why didn't I know you played the piano?"

"It's hard to do when Glitch is awake."

"Really?"

"If he's awake, I can't do this unless he's concentrating and he can't concentrate on one thing for more than a minute. Just one of those things that's easier when he's sleeping."

"I'm not sure if that makes sense…"

"Cross brain functions rarely do. He has more control of my right hand then I do. So, while he's sleeping I'm taking advantage…" Ambrose thought for a moment. "I would imagine it might be similar to intoxicating a woman and using her body for sex without her consent." Ambrose tilted his head, frowning as he continued his thought. "Except all that I'm doing is stealing the use of our right hand for a bit, which used to belong to me exclusively anyways. So I guess it would be more similar if I had been at one time a woman and then got cloned into an entirely new body and then got my former self drunk and then took advantage of me… which would be weird." Ambrose's fingers didn't quite hesitate over the keys, but his playing had slowed down and he seemed to be plucking out a completely random melody now. "Not that I can claim that anything about what I'm doing now is normal. I guess it might be more like if I had given my horse to a neighbor and then came over to ride him when he was out visiting his second cousin in the city. Except… I never really gave him my horse. He just inherited it with the barn when I went bankrupt and foreclosed on my mortgage. But if that was the case, I wouldn't return the horse after I was done with it… Which I sort of have to in this case. Am I making sense yet or were we better off before I started?"

"Sorry. I went a little cross eyed way back at the raping drunk women part. Something I'm sure you would never do, right?"

"Kitten, I would never get a person drunk just so they would sleep with me. I am much too desirable to have to resort to THAT." He grinned wickedly. "Maybe your Mr. Cain, though. Hehe. Or, then again, maybe not. Men are notoriously difficult to arouse when intoxicated and it's never as much fun when you have to do all the work yourself. Hmm… I'm not sure I would be above trying to tie somebody up and taking advantage of them that way. I know some pretty descent knots for that sort of thing…"

"Ambrose? Are you alright?"

"Pardon?" He shook his head a little and focused his attention on her.

"You don't usually ramble like this. It's kinda starting to worry me. Is something wrong?"

"Why would you think something was wrong?"

"You were starting sound like Glitch does when he's gone off topic."

"Hmm… Interesting."

"Interesting because you know what's wrong?"

"I may have resorted to drinking a few glasses of scotch after I left the ballroom. Perhaps there may have been more than a few. Purely in the interest of relaxing my estimable counterpart, I can assure you." He smiled. "I also make it a rule to not accidentally kill people when I've been drinking, so I might have been attempting to ensure that I remain civilized tonight." He looked her up and down with a mischievous grin. "Or maybe I might have overindulged due to a secret urge to not remain civilized at all tonight. Maybe, subconsciously, I thought that perhaps just once it would be nice to lose control, to be completely out of control. That there is something about you that just makes me want to be reckless and foolish and irresponsible and I am far too old to be feeling this giddy but one look into those eyes of yours sets me aflame with such intense wanton desire that I just… want to lose myself… lose control… drown in the depths of your eyes… something like that." Ambrose looked down at the keyboard. "Hell, I don't even know what I'm playing anymore…" He grabbed his glass of scotch and finished the last of it and stood quickly, crossing to the sideboard. DG stood to follow him.

"Would it help if I wore sunglasses?"

Ambrose spun slowly on the balls of his feet to look at her, decanter in his hand and a look of utter bafflement on his face. "Excuse me?"

"Sunglasses." DG sidled up to him and took the decanter from his hand and set it on the sideboard. "If I wore sunglasses, you wouldn't have to look at my eyes and then you wouldn't be set aflame with desire. Think it would help?"

"Kitten..." Ambrose reached up to tuck a strand of her hair out of her face and behind her ear. His fingertips slid gently down the side of her face. "Being anywhere within five feet of you drives me mad with lust. Nothing could change that, not even sunglasses. They can't hide the smoothness of your skin or the lustrous shine of your hair, or the intoxicating pheromones that seem to waft in my direction with every distracting beat of your pulse."

"You must walk around with a dictionary in your pocket. But you'll need more than words to make me melt, sir." She smiled a brilliant smile, enjoying his flirting.

"You think I can't make you melt? That sounds almost like a challenge." Ambrose smirked and took her hand in his.

"What if it was a challenge?" DG took a step closer so she could lay her palm against his chest.

"And what do I win if I succeed in melting you, your Highness?"

"A kiss."

"A kiss, huh? I could go for a kiss… Hmm. My deep and abiding love for you is soft and fresh as morning dew, but the fire you stoke within my breast burns the air within my chest." He frowned and looked sideways up at the ceiling. "That was horrible wasn't it? Let's see... My thoughts of gentle tender wooing are soon dissolved by your undoing. A look, a glance, a touch, a trace, are all I need of your angel's face to drive me willingly to disgrace for the sake of even the shortest embrace. Your lips, your hair, your skin, your eyes… one look from them seals my demise. Release, relief! my body cries and passions again within me arise to be burned to ashes and purged to dust as I try desperately to control my lust. My desires are flames, but control them I must for I could not bear to abuse your trust. But if I had my way, my minx, my dear, I'd scoop you up and pull you near. I'd set you on that piano there and kiss your lips and stroke your hair and kiss, and kiss, and stroke, and kiss until you moaned from delicate bliss and I would explore your body with tender leisure until you writhed and squirmed with desperate pleasure." Ambrose smiled. "I've no idea where I'm going with this, but I probably should have stopped at bliss…" He tilted his head and looked at her with the most beautiful smile she had ever seen on him. "What do you think my treasured miss? Have I melted you enough to earn my kiss?"

DG had no words. She was vaguely aware that she was staring in amazement, but the gentle squeeze on her fingers and the somewhat bashful expression in his copper eyes as he awaited her approval shook her out of her reverie. "Ambrose…" She was still speechless. She reached up and pulled his head down to her and crushed his mouth in a kiss that was deep and needy and her fingers entwined in his hair, brushing against the zipper causing him to moan into her mouth. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her against him, holding her so close there wasn't an inch of space between them. DG felt his body respond to her and it sent shivers of desire racing down her spine. This was the moment, the point when Ambrose would always grit his teeth and exert his control and push her away from him. This was the moment when that sense of responsibility always kicked in. He was always willing to go just this far and no farther with her. But now she felt his hands sliding up her hips and under her shirt, his palms cool against her overly warm flesh as they slid up to rest against her ribs, his thumbs tenderly stroking the sensitive skin there.

Ambrose tilted his head to kiss her better and purred, a deep rumble in his throat that made DG giggle. He picked her up in one smooth motion and carried her to the piano. He set her on the edge, and began trailing kisses down the side of her neck, lingering at the pulse point just to the side of her throat to suck and nibble. DG had her legs wrapped around his waist, her fingers twined in his hair. Before she even knew what was happening, he had pushed her jacket off and had pulled her t-shirt up over her head. His fingers were delicately tracing circles up her sides and back until they had reached the clasp of her bra.

DG closed her eyes and tilted her head back in delight. They shot open again almost immediately at the less than delicate cough from the doorway.

Ambrose tensed like long bow pulled back to its limit.

"Tin Man, I swear to Ozma if you don't leave the room in five seconds or less, I will slip you a potion that will have you vomiting up blood for a week."

"Nutcase, I'd love to see you try. Especially after the Queen castrates you for whatever it is the two of you happen to be doing in here. Thought I'd warn you she was on her way."

Ambrose groaned and sunk his head in defeat. "Dammit."

DG stroked Ambrose's face, trying not to laugh at the frustrated look in his eyes. "It's okay, sweetheart. You look like somebody just shot your dog."

Ambrose continued to curse under his breath, but he handed DG her t-shirt and kissed her tenderly on the forehead before backing away from her and turning his back to give her some privacy. It also allowed him to turn his baleful eyes on Cain and to give him the most withering death glare he'd ever given anyone in his life.

"I really hate you, Mr. Cain."

Cain had his back to the room and was carefully ignoring the both of them. "Likewise, my Lord."

Ambrose sneered, adjusting his cravat. "I think you mean 'Your Grace.'"

"Huh?"

"A duke is called 'Your Grace,' seeing as we seem to be standing on ceremony. Not that I'm the type to nitpick on details."

"Seeing as we're on the subject of details, maybe you should pay more attention to locking the door."

Ambrose smiled and looked over his shoulder. DG had her shirt and her coat on again and was watching the two of them with a bemused expression. "I was distracted…"

Cain bristled.

DG laughed. "It's alright, Cain. Ambrose wasn't doing anything that I didn't want him to, I promise."

Cain was about to retort when the door opened again and the Queen entered, followed closely by Azkadellia.

Ambrose bowed at the waist, the fact that he was the only one in the room who did so was not lost on him. DG stubbornly refused to curtsy for her mother and Cain was too hard a man to bend that way to anyone.

Ambrose cleared his throat. "Your Majesty."

The Queen's smile was serene but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Ambrose, darling. I'm surprised to see that you and my daughter are still here. I should have thought that you might have skipped town on us already. Particularly since both of your horses have been saddled." A delicate eyebrow arched during the last statement.

Ambrose smirked and turned to look at DG who was struggling to keep an innocent expression on her face as she moved up to stand beside him. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles, eyes twinkling as he mouthed the word 'Minx.' He turned back to the Queen. "I cannot account for how that could have happened, your Majesty. Obviously neither of us had any intention to disappear without your leave. Besides. Being late for a royal appointment is extremely rude. Missing one entirely is bordering on reprehensible and since you know I can barely tolerate rudeness in other people, it would be positively hypocritical of me to allow it in myself. And then, why then I'd have to punish myself, for being rude AND a hypocrite. Dire offenses, both. I'd probably have to force myself to give up coffee for a month. Do you think that a suitable punishment? Because the very thought to me is horrifying."

The Queen's eyes softened. "How I have missed you, old friend."

Ambrose smiled before he quickly ducked his head and averted his eyes, his behavior taking on an almost submissive quality. "I had begun to believe otherwise, Majesty."

The Queen nodded. "I had resigned myself to never seeing you again. Please believe that the decision I had made was in your best interests, to protect you as well as my daughter."

"With all due respect, your Majesty, I have never needed protecting. And DG…" He turned to give her a fond glance. "DG is more than capable of taking care of herself, as she has more than amply proven. Beyond that I honestly can't imagine what you could possibly have-"

"Midas Phrygia is free."

"Oh." Ambrose frowned, obviously distressed by this information and struggling not to show it.

DG squeezed his arm. "Who is Midas Phrygia?"

"An unpleasant reminder of an unpleasant past. How did he get free?"

"The exact details remain unknown. All that is known is that he will be in Central City in three day's time along with the delegates from the other kingdom's to renegotiate the peace accords. Forgive me, Ambrose, it was cruel of me to keep this from you, but you see now why your return to us is somewhat problematic."

"Yes. I understand now."

DG frowned. "Well, uh, I don't. Could someone explain it to me?"

The Queen's lavender eyes had softened considerably and she looked at Ambrose with nothing but compassion in her face. "Would you care to, dearest?"

Ambrose ground his jaw and nodded, his posture stiff and eyes dark, unreadable pools of onyx. "Midas Phrygia has spent the last twenty annuals locked in a prison of my own design, a prison which, and I hope that you and Mr. Cain will forgive me for this, the witch found abundant use for during her regime."

Understanding dawned on DG and she shared an uncomfortable look with Cain. He was talking about the tin dive suit that Cain had been locked in for years. Her voice was quiet. "You invented that thing?"

Ambrose nodded stiffly, a faint trace of blush coloring his pale skin to show his embarrassment. "I designed it with only one purpose in mind. As reprehensible as it was. I had thought that I had destroyed the plans shortly after, but obviously some record of them must have survived." He looked at Cain. "For that, I can never begin to apologize... for the use it was brought against you. I had no intention of ever employing it on any other human being. I can only hope that you can forgive me someday."

Cain flexed his jaw, icy eyes unreadable. He was silent for some moments before he shrugged. "You weren't the one who locked me in it." He pointed a finger at Azkadellia who had begun to shrink back against the wall. "And neither were you, kiddo, so you can stop that line of thought right now." He folded his arms in front of his chest and leaned back against the wall, not brooking any argument from her.

Az bit her lip and nodded agreement, giving Cain a shaky smile.

DG shook her head, voice cold with anger. If Cain wasn't going to be upset, she would just have to be upset for both of them. "Why would you make something like that?"

"Revenge." Ambrose sighed and shrugged, fidgeting just a bit. "I was eighteen at the time, it seemed like a good idea." He sighed again and ran a hand over his wild dreadlocks. He growled and muttered, "I am cutting my damned hair..."

"Hey! That doesn't explain anything! Revenge? Revenge for what? What could that man have possibly done to deserve being locked up in a coffin for twenty years?" Her voice was sharp. Memories of being trapped in her own marble coffin, unable to breathe, unable to escape… It had been terrifying and dark and she had felt so very helpless. And that had only been for a few hours! Memories of what Cain had looked like when they had freed him, how haunted he had been by his experience… Twenty years! There was no excuse for such a thing!

Ambrose opened his mouth, his own anger rising.

The Queen stopped him with a gentle touch to his arm. "Easy dear…" Ambrose looked at her. He took a breath and let it out with a nod. The Queen turned to DG. "Darling, as much as I do not condone Ambrose's actions in this particular matter, I cannot say that I do not understand his reasons."

Ambrose's voice was quiet. "Midas Phrygia is the man who massacred my family."

It was DG's turn to say a quiet, "Oh."

"He conquered the Silver Islands just as he conquered all of the island kingdoms. He was coming here to overthrow the O.Z. as well. I helped launch a counter offensive and drove his armies back to the sea. When they could retreat no more, I quietly infiltrated his camp with a handful of men. We captured his officers, captured him. I promised not to kill him in exchange for his complete surrender and the assurance that he would never attempt to overtake the O.Z. again." Ambrose shrugged again, nose wrinkling in distaste at the memory. "I said he would live, I didn't say how comfortably. But again, I was very young and had I the opportunity to change things…"

"You wouldn't. I guess I can understand that."

"What I was going to say, kitten, is that I probably would have stuck a knife in his gut, twisted it a few times, and left him on the floor to bleed to death in agony. The older I get, the more I really enjoy the elegance of simplicity. Obviously, designing a box that would keep a person alive perpetually forever has had a few fatal flaws to it."

"Aside from the fact that you can't keep a person alive forever?"

"Of course you can. Ever hear of Schrodinger's cat? The cat isn't dead until you open the box. Hmm... That sounds an awful lot like 'the show isn't over until the fat lady sings,' doesn't it? At least when you phrase it that way."

DG's lips twitched up in the hint of a smile, completely against her will. She still wanted to be angry with him. Why could she never stay angry with him? "You say the weirdest things when you've been drinking…"

The Queen tilted her head in interest. That certainly explained why Ambrose was uncustomarily chatty, but aside from that and the occasional bob of his head or the slight shifting of weight on his feet, for he usually stood deathly still in her presence, she would never have been able to tell. She sighed. They truly had need to discuss in more detail what precisely the Golden King's presence in the capitol would mean to all of them. It was a delicate subject and required Ambrose's complete attention. If he had been drinking, now was not the time for that. But it could wait. The Queen smiled faintly. "Is that what you two have been doing in here?"

"Yes, actually."

DG couldn't help but smile. "He was drinking. I was listening to him play the piano."

"Ambrose used to play so beautifully. Does he still?"

"Well, he seemed to, but he is a little intoxicated." At Ambrose's affronted look, she amended, "Just a little bit."

"And see? That's how you know for certain we weren't planning on skipping town. Scotch and horses don't mix terribly well. Especially not after midnight. So of course we weren't planning on running off, were we, kitten?"

"No, of course not!" DG hooked her arm in his and smiled at her mother.

"You say that, dear friend, but your change of dress suggests otherwise." The Queen's gaze drifted meaningfully to DG's attire then back to him.

"I make it a rule to only do battle in armor I'm comfortable in and quite frankly I thought I was going to be on my knees fending off a sword thrust to my heart or two."

"That explains your black, it doesn't explain the denim."

"Apparently your daughter is a strategist of equal caliber. Either that or my skills at mind control are far more formidable than I ever would have given myself credit for. What say you, dear one? Am I controlling your thoughts?" DG had to stifle a giggle at the rare glimpse of mirth in his smoldering copper eyes as he waved his hand at her, an imitation of the Jedi mind-wave. "You want to pour me another scotch."

DG struggled to keep a straight face as she played along. "I want to pour you another scotch." She squeezed his hand and began to walk to the sideboard, only letting go of his fingers when she had walked too far away to hold onto him anymore. She could hear him talking behind her.

"Damn, I'm good…"

Cain snorted. "Only in your head, nutcase."

"AND in bed, Tin Man. Which you would know if you weren't so afraid of being alone with me."

"I'm not afraid of you."

"Actions speak louder than words, scaredy cat."

Azkadellia joined DG by the sideboard. "I have never seen Ambrose this goofy. What did you do to him?"

DG averted her eyes, well aware that she was blushing. "I didn't really DO anything. I just sat there and let him play for me and then he recited some poetry…" She blushed harder, voice trailing off.

Az elbowed her gently in the ribs. "Don't stop there! Then what! If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was grinning like the cat that got the cream…"

"Az!" DG hit her sister on the shoulder. "No, we didn't get that far. We never get that far. The one time we get close, when I have him cornered when his inhibitions are compromised and what do you know? The royal congress barges in…" DG rolled her eyes in disgust. "It's enough to drive a girl to desperation."

"So? Have you told him yet?"

"Told him what?"

"That you aren't as innocent as he thinks you are? Because maybe your upstanding gentleman would be a little less inclined to be gentlemanly if he knew you weren't exactly maidenly."

"Of course I haven't told him that yet! I mean, come on, what am I gonna say? By the way, Ambrose, I know that your alternate personality is supposedly the love of my life and everything, but I lost my virginity at a tailgate party behind the high school bleachers when I was sixteen. I'm not sure how well that would go over with him."

Az smiled and plucked at the collar of DG's jacket. "I somehow get the impression that it wouldn't bother him too much. Either of them, actually."

"I know Glitch wouldn't care. Glitch loves me so much it hurts to look at him sometimes because I know I don't deserve it. But Ambrose is… Well, he's wonderful, don't get me wrong… but he's touchy about some things, you know?"

"Actually, I don't. I haven't really… We, uh… Well, we haven't really spoken. I'm not certain what I would say to him. I really don't think there is anything I COULD say to him." She looked over at Ambrose and Cain bantering back and forth, her dark eyes saddened.

"Oh… I guess I see what you mean." DG frowned. "Az, you know he doesn't blame you for what happened, right? I think he cares about you a great deal, actually."

"I can't imagine why. I've caused him so much pain."

"Did I ever tell you what he told me?"

Az shook her head, looking down at her hands.

"He told me that he chose what happened to him." DG smiled reassuringly when Az looked up at her. "The Mystic Man told him that if he could distract the witch long enough, there was a chance that you could be saved. It gave him hope. He clung to that hope. It was like a one in a million chance but he grasped at that straw. Saving you was so important to him, important enough that he willingly sacrificed everything he could to give you that chance."

"Deeg, I did so many horrible things to him. I've hurt him so badly and taking his brain wasn't even the worst of it!"

"He knew what would happen to him before he started and he knows that it was the witch and not you, so talk to him."

"Alright. I'll talk to him..." Az smiled wickedly. "IF you tell him that you aren't a virgin."

"That's not fair and you know it!"

"I'm just looking out for my baby sister's welfare. The sexual tension between you two is thicker than Miss Sophy's gravy. And even if YOU can tolerate it, it's going to drive the rest of us crazy. Poor Raw can't even be in the same room when you're together. Did you know that?"

"No, he never mentioned it."

"Just something to think about. You have your dear Ambrose wound up so tight, he's taking it out on Cain. And in front of our mother! Cain doesn't even know what to do with himself!" Az giggled and DG turned to look. Sure enough, Cain had flushed a shade of bright red, bordering on cherry. The Queen was standing by listening to the banter between the two and not interrupting, smiling to herself, her gloved hand held to her mouth to hide it.

DG frowned in confusion. It was hard to imagine her mother being amused by anything, let alone the sexually suggestive talk that Ambrose and Cain were engaged in.

She bit her lip. "I don't know. I still haven't figured out how Glitch would feel if I were to… well, sleep with Ambrose first…"

"Now THAT…" Az shook her head. "That I don't know the answer to. Maybe you should ask him."

"I'd be cheating on him. With himself. How screwed up is that?"

"Don't you dare pretend that not every single one of us told you that this was going to be complicated! You're the one who said you would make it work, that you would gladly take a little complication over disappointing Glitch or losing Ambrose. Make no mistake, little sister, this is all YOUR doing."

"Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag. Believe me, sis, I know. Why is Mom smiling? I thought she'd be breathing fire and shooting lightning bolts out of her eyes."

"Daddy and I softened her up for you."

"How?"

"Well, Daddy tugged her heartstrings with some reminders of Ambrose growing up and being such a cute little boy and then I shed some tears and sobs about how I would finally get to apologize and between the two of us, we were able to get her to see some reason. Brilliant job getting him wasted, though. If he'd been stiff and prickly like he usually is, all our good work might have been for nothing, but seeing him laugh and smile…" Az's own smile was wistful, remembering. "It's like he was before… before his… his, um…"

"Daniel?"

"Yes." Sadness filled Azkadellia's dark eyes. "Yes, his Daniel. He was marvelously happy before his Daniel died. Funny, I didn't think I could remember that far back. It's nice to see him smile again."

"He does have a beautiful smile, doesn't he? As much as I would love to take credit for it, he was well on his way to tipsy before I got here. He was trying to drink Glitch into a stupor. That reminds me, I still need to talk to him about… Oh God, I didn't even think of that! Dammit!"

"What?"

"If I ask him if I can sleep with Ambrose first, he's going to think it's because I don't want to be with HIM! Shit!"

"Then it's a good thing the royal congress barged in, isn't it?" Az winked.

"I think I hate you now. Why do you have to be right?"

"Because I'm your big sister and I've earned it. That's why I get to be right." She laughed again. "I think it's time you rescued Cain. He looks like a cornered rabbit."

"Yeah, poor guy. Can't say I blame him. If Ambrose was talking to me about his sword with that look on his face, I'd probably feel like a cornered rabbit, too."

She sauntered over and pressed the glass of scotch into Ambrose's hand, surprising him and interrupting him all at once. The look she shot Cain told him to get out while the opportunity was open. He didn't need to be told twice.

DG's voice was innocent. "Ambrose, I don't suppose I could talk to Glitch soon, could I?"

Ambrose blinked, did a double take and blinked again. By the time he looked back, Cain had already escaped. He smiled. "I don't think Glitch would appreciate talking right now, but if you wish it, I can try to wake him up."

The Queen's voice was interested. "So Glitch is still a part of you then?"

"Yes, we share real estate, now."

"I am glad to hear that. I had grown fond of him in the last months. He is an endearing soul."

"He is, isn't he? Can't say how endearing he'll be with a hangover, though…" Ambrose grinned wickedly, then kissed DG tenderly on the forehead. "Bis morgen, mein Lieblingkätzchen." He closed his eyes and his head drooped down to his chest.

"What does that mean?"

Az was standing next to her. "I think it means 'until tomorrow, my darling kitten.' That's so sweet."

Glitch looked up, face scrunched in pain, his eyes clenched almost shut. "Oh, my! Hello… Oh, dear…"

He stumbled into DG who caught him and held him up. "Hey, Glitch. You doing okay?"

"I think I'm gonna be sick…" He sank to his knees, one arm wrapped around his belly, the other pressed to the side of his head. "I think someone's poisoned me…" DG knelt down beside him and wrapped him in a hug.

"It's okay, you haven't been poisoned, though I can just imagine how awful you feel."

The Queen's voice was soft as she touched her daughter gently on the shoulder. "Take care of him, darling. The next few days will be very difficult for him, I'm afraid."

DG looked up. "Okay. Sure." Her eyebrows wrinkled together. What did she mean by that?

"Come along, Az. We shall leave them in peace."

Az smiled at DG, a knowing look passing between them as she silently wished her sister luck and DG silently told her to mind her own business.

DG stroked Glitch's face and his hair and held him close while Azkadellia and the Queen both left. "My poor Glitch. What did Ambrose do to you?"

"He poisoned me," was his petulant reply as he nuzzled his head into the crook of her neck.

DG stroked his back, palms tracing gentle circles in the overly tense muscles there. "I don't think he meant to poison you, sweety. I think he was trying to calm you down a bit."

"If he wanted me calm, he shouldn't have made the room spin so much! Ozma's elbows, my head hurts so bad!"

"It's okay, honey… Hey, I bet I know just the thing to make your head stop hurting!"

Glitch pulled back to look at her with squinting eyes, doubt evident in his voice. "Yeah? What's that?"

"A kiss." She kissed him softly on the nose. "There! Any better?"

Glitch tilted his head from side to side while he considered. "Maybe a little…"

DG smiled and kissed him very gently on each eyelid. "How about now?"

"That's a little better…"

She kissed him on each cheek. "And now?"

"I'm definitely feeling improvement. I think you should keep at it."

DG grinned. Now she kissed him on the lips. His eyes were still closed in bliss when she pulled away from him. "Is your headache gone yet?"

"If I say yes, will you stop?"

"Maybe."

"It still hurts abominably."

"Then I guess I'll just have to keep trying." But before she did, she stood and went to the door to make certain this time that it was locked.


	15. Chapter 15

Not What He Seems part 15  
by Phantaz-Magoria

A/N: Took a break from studying to write a cute bit of fluff. This is actually more like a two part chapter, cause the second part just kept going and going and is still at this moment going, so I split it up so I could at least post a little bit of something. Not much, but I hope you all enjoy it.

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Glitch sighed, happier and more content than he could remember ever having been in his life. Which wasn't surprising, really; he didn't have that great of a memory. In fact, he couldn't even remember why he was so happy. He just knew that he was waking up from the most restful sleep of his life in a wonderfully soft bed with wonderfully warm blankets and the sun was shining through the window and he just felt snuggly all over. It was such a perfect morning and he hadn't even entirely woken up yet!

_Hey, Ambrose?_

The voice in his head was thick with sleep._ Go away…_

_I've got a question for you._

_I'm sleeping. Leave me alone._

_It's a really quick one, I promise. What happened last night?_

The voice grumbled then seemed to figuratively roll over in their head to look at him. If a voice could look at somebody or roll over, anyhow.

_You don't remember?_

_No. Not really. It must have been something wonderful, though._

_The least you could do is get me coffee before you start waking me up… __Ask DG, she was there. Or wait until I'm not sleeping, for crying out loud…  
_

_Wait! Ambrose!_

The voice had already returned to the dark part of their brain that Glitch couldn't get to. Glitch sighed, but soon enough was feeling so wonderful and carefree that he didn't even care that Ambrose was grouchy this morning. Nothing could spoil his wonderful, happy, snuggliness! He kept his eyes closed and tilted his face. He could feel warm sunshine streaming in through the window and it made him smile. He was very warm all over, snuggled up in the super soft sheets with…

His eyes flew open. Snuggled up with… He rolled over and came face to face with DG. For an instant, he might have felt panic, but he was much too happy and content for the panic to last long. Her eyes were still closed, her breathing deep and even in sleep. She looked just like an angel with her hair spread all around her, stark black against the cream colored sheets. She was so very beautiful, Glitch was afraid to touch her, afraid that he was dreaming and if he moved the dream would go away. He stayed as still as he could, watching the slow rise and fall of the sheet as she breathed in and out. He didn't know if he was imagining the faint trace of a smile on her lips, but he thought that she was having a very good dream.

He whispered as softly as he could, "Are you dreaming of me?"

DG didn't wake, but her smile became more pronounced and she shifted under the sheets, her slender arm reaching for him and settling again, this time with her hand resting lightly against the side of his neck, her fingers barely touching the sensitive hairs at the base of his skull.

Glitch smiled, happy that she was happy. "Guess you are, huh?" He grinned. "I guess if I dreamed about anything, I would dream about you, too…"

DG's only answer was a contented smile.

Glitch stayed there as long as he could until certain morning routines required attention. Reluctantly he slid away from her hand, then wiggled as carefully as he could until he was out of the bed, trying not to disturb her. The air was cold when he wasn't buried under the warm comforter and it instantly turned his skin to gooseflesh. It was confounding, but his clothes seemed to be strewn every which way over the room. Usually, Ambrose was much neater and wouldn't let Glitch get away with just dropping things on the floor. Ambrose also usually had the foresight to set out their warm dressing gown before retiring for the night. That was nowhere to be seen, of course.

Glitch grumbled to himself as he gingerly toe stepped over to the dresser and pulled a drawer open. Of all the times for Ambrose to be slacking off, it just had to be last night… What had happened last night? Glitch pulled on a comfortable pair of sweat pants and shut the drawer quietly. He turned to look at DG's sleeping face again. He couldn't help but feel joy bubble up inside him every time he saw her. Why was she sleeping in his bed?

Mmm, bed was so warm… so warm. Not like it was out here. Glitch shivered again. The thing he hated most about the Northern Palace was that it was so very cold in the mornings! At least it was when you weren't snuggled up in bed and you didn't have your warm dressing gown and there wasn't a cheerfully roaring fire going in the fireplace.

He shivered again and decided that the quicker he took care of business, the quicker he could get back into his warm snuggly bed with his warm snuggly princess…

Yes, what was she doing in his bed, again? What happened last night?

He rubbed a hand through his hair and over his face, covering a yawn. He tiptoed carefully over to his dressing room, trying simultaneously to not make any sound and to not let his feet touch the cold floor. What he loved most about his suite of rooms, aside from the fact that they were just at the top of the stairs and he could find them without help, and aside from his soft warm snuggly bed, and the large fireplace that kept the room warm, and the view outside of the window, and the fact that you could smell breakfast cooking just outside of the door every morning because it wafted up from the kitchens… Aside from all this, what he absolutely loved most about his room was the large dressing room. He had his own private bath tub and a washbasin with a really beautiful gold framed mirror. Now, granted, his own personal bath tub and a wash basin and all those things seemed like very ordinary trifles, nothing really to get excited over. But Glitch could remember long stretches of time when he didn't have things like this. It seemed to him that he should make an effort to enjoy the simple things he had that made life beyond wonderful.

Ambrose probably wouldn't give a second thought to the miracles of indoor plumbing.

_Probably because I was the one that drew up all the plans for the indoor plumbing and oversaw the retrofitting of the castle when construction began. Plumbing loses its charm when you're knee deep in it, trying to make it work right. _

_Hi, Ambrose! Are you awake yet?_

_Glitch… for the love of Ozma, could you please stop thinking so loud? _

_But Ambrose! It's such a pretty morning and I'm trying to be quiet so I don't wake DG up and it's hard to concentrate on BEING quiet and THINKING quiet at the same time._

_Pretty mornings do not start until after eight, it is not yet a quarter to six. _

_But the sun's out already! _

_Don't tempt me._

_Tempt you to what? _

_If the sun being out is the root cause of your atrociously dewy-eyed early morning optimism, I can easily… EASILY make certain it never rises again._

_But that's what the witch was trying to do, wasn't it?_

_I can see how the idea might have appealed to her. _

_You wouldn't really destroy the suns, would you?_

_Try waking me up without a cup of coffee in your hand again and just you see if I don't try it… _

Glitch smiled and shook his head. He stretched happily. Well, HE at least enjoyed the indoor plumbing. He went to the basin to wash his hands and yelped in fright.

_AMBROSE!_

_For crying out loud, Glitch! What is it now?_

_I've been attacked!_

Glitch's face, reflected in the ornate mirror, was positively horrified. Trembling fingers reached up to gently touch the dark circular bruise that covered a large portion of his neck. There were others, over his collar bone and upper portions of his chest.

A low whistle sounded in his head

_My, oh, my… it seems our innocent little minx is more of a tigress than I gave her credit for._

_What does THAT mean? What happened last night!? _

_I could tell you… but you didn't get me any coffee, and I have the mother of all hangovers pounding at my half of our brain, incidentally a headache that I happen to be trying to protect you from, so I'm going back to sleep. _

_But Ambrose!_

_Ask DG. She might be more than happy to demonstrate how you got those bruises. Goodnight, Glitch._

_Ambrose! _

_Goodnight, Glitch._

The voice was gone again, retreated to the dark recesses of the other side of his brain. Glitch frowned. He rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck back and forth. Well, he didn't SEEM to be too injured and Ambrose hadn't seemed concerned at all. Glitch sighed.

He washed his hands and face and then began to brush his teeth. He'd only gotten to the back molars on one side when dainty hands slipped around his torso and a warm body pressed against his back. Glitch's eyes closed at the thoroughly pleasant sensation of the silky material against his bare skin and he breathed a deep sigh of contentment as he continued, albeit a little more distractedly, to scrub his teeth.

DG's voice was husky and drowsy. "Good morning."

"Hmm hmm hmm…"

DG nuzzled under his arm until he lifted it enough for her to weasel underneath it. He had no choice but to wrap his arm around her shoulders, looking down at her with his eyebrows raised. She smiled. "What? It's cold out here and you're warm…" She wrapped her arms tighter around him.

"Hmm mmm hmm mmm."

DG yawned and nuzzled his chest with her nose. "Didn't catch that."

Glitch rolled his eyes and spat into the basin and turned the water tap on to his rinse his mouth out. "I said, it's no wonder you're cold, all you're wearing is that thin little shift…" Glitch shivered again, now that his attention was on what DG was wearing, though this shiver wasn't quite from being cold. The shift in question was stark white against her cream colored skin, intricately sewn with pearls and lace and embroidered with silver thread in beautiful patterns. It was a beautiful garment, not one to be worn everyday or even on any day that wasn't extremely special and the silk wasn't any protection at all against the early morning air, especially without the fireplace going. Somebody should really invent some sort of doohickey to make turning fires on much easier. It was kind of a hassle to get on your knees and set up the tinder and all that, especially this early in the morning.

_That's what they invented maids for, Glitch. And I'm sure she would do her job if you would go unlock the door._

"Oh! The door's locked! That makes sense!"

"What are you talking about, love?"

"I was just wondering why it was so cursedly cold in here when usually the maid comes in and lights the fire before I wake up and it just occurred to me, well it occurred to Ambrose first, that she didn't light the fire because the door's locked!"

Glitch looked so horribly pleased with himself that DG grinned and leaned up to steal a minty kiss. "You're so brilliant." Her voice was soft and drowsy. She smiled against his lips and kissed him again. "Mind if I borrow your tooth brush while you go let her in?"

"Yeah, sure… Wait… Ambrose says he got you one. Hold on one second."

Glitch poked his head out of the dressing room door to find the unobtrusive box lying beside the dresser. He smiled.

_Ambrose, you rock!_

_Rock? Rock what? I'm not rocking anything. _

_It's something DG says. It means you're awe-inspiring. Thanks for doing this._

_Oh. I see. Yes. Well. Just try to remember that coffee next time you drag me out of bed at oh-dark-thirty. _

Glitch carried the box into the room and set it down.

DG's eyes sparkled. "Oh! For me? What is it?"

"Ambrose packed you a sleep-over kit. Apparently he's been doing some scheming behind my back. Or behind my brain. Whatever." He opened the box and dug through some of the contents. "Hmm. Ah! Toothbrush!" He held it up triumphantly.

DG couldn't help but smile. It wasn't her toothbrush, it was a new one. She took it. "What else is in there?"

"Well, let's see. He has your dressing gown and a new set of clothes. A few nightshifts and panties and things. There's your hair brush and some bottles. I guess that's shampoo. And look a little teddy bear! How cute! Maybe that's for me…"

DG giggled and ruffled his hair, placing a kiss against his temple as she plucked the teddy bear out of his hands. "Gonna have to fight me for it, mister."

Glitch sighed and stopped rifling through the various items. "You would think he would have at least left some food, if he was going to be sneaky and thoughtful like that."

"Sweety, you know he doesn't think about food as much as you do. I'm sure that if he thought he could have gotten you something you would have enjoyed, he would have."

"I just don't see why you get a whole box full of neat stuff and I don't."

"It's your room, Glitch! You've got a whole room full of neat stuff."

"So?"

"Why don't you go let the maid in so she can get the fire going? I'll be out in a second."

Glitch grumbled good-naturedly. He rose and picked her up in one fluid motion, spinning her around in the air before setting her lightly on her feet and kissing her again. "Alright, doll! I'll forgive him, but only cause I know if it was me being thoughtful and sneaky, I would have left you a big box of goodies and forgotten all about him, too."

DG giggled and patted his arm. "Get out of here so I can brush my teeth, goofball."

Glitch trotted to comply, two-step shuffling to a jaunty tune. He couldn't even feel the cold anymore, even barefoot and bare-chested as he was. Five minutes with DG had warmed him thoroughly from the tip of his nose down to the ends his toes and life was happy, happy, happy.

He unlocked the door and poked his head out into the hallway. And what do you know? There was the maid!

Except she was accompanied by a rolling cart covered by silver serving platters. Glitch couldn't help bouncing excitedly. He couldn't tell what the food was, but there were two chilled carafes, one full of milk, the other orange juice, and a tea pot. There was also a thin vase with a rose and a card standing next to it. Glitch's fingers itched with the desire to see what was under those silver covers.

"Good morning, Mr. Glitch."

"Good morning, Julie. You brought me food?"

She was already wheeling the cart into the room. "You placed the order yourself, sir."

"I did?" Glitch's face was a mask of puzzlement. "Oh! I did! I get it! Yes, yes I did place that order myself."

She smiled at him and he smiled back. The whole palace was aware of Mr. Glitch's charming peculiarities. Like how he could forget what had just happened not even ten minutes before and yet make absolutely certain he never forgot a single one of their names.

The maid stopped the cart by the bed and went to work starting the fire, dutifully ignoring Glitch's gasp of horror as well as his frantic efforts to kick the female underclothes that were scattered around the room under the bed before she noticed anything amiss. Actually, she thought it was cute of him to think that she didn't notice such things.

"When you're done with the tray, Mr. Glitch, you can just leave it out in the hallway."

"I will, thank you, Julie." He cleared his throat, trying not to look like he was standing guard against the indecent stash of clothing that still poked out from under the bed.

"Good day, Mr. Glitch." She shut the door behind her.

Glitch breathed a sigh of relief and bounce-hopped closer to the fireplace, holding his palms out to the flames to draw in the heat. He rubbed his hands together and held them out again, gleefully happy even though he was starting to feel hungry and whatever food was under those beautiful silver dishes was beginning to smell really good.

DG wouldn't mind if he took a peak.

With a look to the dressing room door to make sure she wasn't watching, he bounced as sneakily over to the bed as he could and scrambled under the covers, twisting so that his head poked out towards the cart. He cast another furtive look at the door, then reached out his left hand and plucked the card off the cart.

Glitch smiled. It was written in Ambrose's elegant script, '_See? I didn't forget about you, knucklehead. You two love birds enjoy your Sunday morning snuggling while you can. I have to get back to work tomorrow. If you need me for anything, just pretend I don't exist._'

It was then that he noticed the inside of his arm. There was a long blue line, like a tattoo, running from the bend of his elbow all the way to his wrist and continued to his palm where it split into a circle with a spiral inside. It was just like the one DG had had back when they were traveling all over the kingdom. Except this one didn't look like it was on fire...

He frowned, contemplating it with intense scrutiny.

DG laughed when she finally came out of the dressing room to see the look of sheer concentration on his face. "I didn't know you ordered us breakfast. You trying to surprise me?"

"What? Oh… That was Ambrose."

"See? I told you he didn't forget about you. Hey, what's wrong?"

"I've got this mark on my hand and I don't know where it came from. It looks just like yours did… maybe you infected me or something."

DG bit her lip. "Poor Glitch. You don't remember last night at all, do you?

Glitch's ears twitched and he looked up at DG, seeing the expression on her face, hearing the disappointment in her voice.

"I'm sorry, Deeg. I wish I could, but… well, all that long-term memory stuff gets stored into the side of my brain that I don't get to see and Ambrose is clammed up tighter than an oyster shell right now. I wish I could remember last night. I'm sure it was wonderful. I wish I could remember."

DG crawled into bed beside him and brushed his hair back with her fingers. "It's okay, sweety. I don't want you to feel bad."

"Something important happened and I can't remember it. It's because I'm just too—"

DG pressed her finger to his lips. "I don't want to hear you bad talk yourself. You ARE smart and you ARE good enough and dammit, Glitch, stop insulting my taste in men!"

Glitch opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. He looked at her for a good thirty seconds with his heartbroken puppy eyes. His voice was quiet when he finally spoke. "I just wish I could remember."

"Then I'll help you."

Glitch blinked. "You can do that?"

"I've been doing more of that 'light-flowing-through-you' crap in the last month than I've done in the entire last twenty years. I think I can MacGeyver us a memory charm."

"MacGeyver?"

"Umm… that's a verb. It means improvise. Usually with duct tape and shoelaces, but I don't think I'll need all that." DG sat up on her knees. "Come here." Glitch scrambled up onto his knees as well facing her. "Okay, give me your hand. Left one."

Glitch held out his left hand and DG took it. "Hey, you've got a blue line on you, too…"

"Yeah, Glitch." DG smiled. "I'll show you why in just a second. Now, just take a deep breath and relax."

Glitch closed his eyes and did as instructed.

DG giggled. "Finally, it's my turn to use the dreaded phrase." She squeezed his hand, then said in her best imitation of Toto, "Just let the light flow through you…"

It was Glitch's turn to giggle.

DG squeezed his hand again. "Come on, be serious. Think of flowing. And light. Just let it flow."

Glitch tilted his head, puzzled for a moment. He wasn't sure that he knew which light she was talking about. The sunlight outside maybe? The warm glow from the fire perhaps? And then he felt it, a tingling, itching sensation that started at where their palms joined and began flowing down his arm. "Oh! That light…"

And then he was falling into himself and DG's light was there to catch him.


	16. Chapter 16

Not What He Seems part 16

Phantaz-Magoria

A/N: Ugh. I hate this chapter with a passion. There is no reason why it should have taken two months to write and as a result the characterization flip flops ALL over the place, so if people seem terribly out of character or if the throughline disappears for no apparent reason, you have my sincerest apologies, but rest assured that we will pick right back up with our normally scheduled program and far less craziness in the next chapter. And actually, this whole stupid thing was supposed to be part of the last chapter but stupid Cain had to drop in and it was all I could do to keep him and Ambrose from killing each other every time they said something. Stupid willful characters with minds of their own! Gyah! Any how, hope it's not too far below par. *hides from the rotten tomatoes* Oh, and sorry about the wait, too! And my sincerest thanks to tulip for her gentle reminding that its rude not to post a chapter after a cliff hanger. Epic love to all my reviewing peeps!

* * *

When the bright light faded and he had finished falling through mist, Glitch wasn't quite sure he was still himself any more. It was a weird sensation. He looked down at himself and saw DG's body through her own eyes, dressed as it had been yesterday after the ball, jeans and leather jacket. They were walking down a hallway. It was familiar, the one that led to the main library. DG's slender hand pushed open the door.

There was only one other person in the library. DG's voice echoed strangely in Glitch's ears. "Toto! I'm glad I found you!"

"Princess," The old man's long suffering voice was accompanied by a sigh. "How many times must I tell you? It's 'Tutor.'"

DG just smiled. "You know, I wouldn't call you Toto if I didn't like you."

The old man gave her a forbearing look before closing the book he had been studying. "What can I help you with, DG?"

"Glitch and I may need to leave suddenly. I need to know if there's anything special about the marriage ceremony so I can do it myself if I need to."

"Something special? A marriage is a marriage, DG. You exchange your vows and your rings. It should be perfectly legal anywhere in the OZ. Why would you and Glitch need to leave suddenly?"

DG ignored his question. "But that's not all there is, is there?"

Tutor sighed again. She had that look in her eyes, the one that reminded him of a terrier with a rat. Once she got her teeth into something, she would shake and shake and shake it until she broke it's back. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"That's a load of bull and you know it. There's something more. Something that my mother didn't do when she married Ahamo, something that would have made him her equal and not her consort."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're too smart for your own good, DG?"

"In this place, I have to be. Tell me, Tutor. Please?"

"Your mother isn't going to be happy if you do this."

"My mother is never happy with anything I do. She was more than pleased that I came here and saved her kingdom for her, but I'm not the little girl that left her fifteen years ago and that displeases her to no end. Glitch and I love each other and I don't want anything to come between us. Ever. I need to give him something a little stronger than a ring and a promise."

"DG… this isn't about what happened tonight in the ballroom, is it? Giving away your magic isn't going to protect Glitch from people thinking what they will. And if your mother-"

DG interrupted him with an icy stare that Glitch himself could feel, riding in her memories as he was, even if he couldn't see it from this vantage point. She lifted her chin imperiously. "Has she specifically ordered you not to tell me about this?"

"Not specifically, no."

"Then when I give you the order that requires you to tell me about it, there is no conflicting orders between her and I. In such a case, you have to obey me, correct?"

"You're getting more like your mother every day." Tutor looked uncomfortable. "But you're right. I would have to obey."

"I would hope that I wouldn't have to order my friends around like that. Especially when all I'm doing is asking them for help." It only took another half second for the man to crumble completely. Glitch thought he knew exactly which look she was giving him; the wide eyed, slightly misty eyed look that she used on him whenever she wanted him to know that she felt hurt by something. That look was enough to make him want to sink into the floor and die. Fortunately, he only remembered seeing it once, when she had seen his memories of the sunseeder. As shoddy as his memory for such things was, that look had imprinted itself in his mind in such a way that he could never forget.

"Alright. I'll tell you what you need to know…"

Colors swirled brilliantly and the memory flashed forward to the room with the piano, to the kissing and touching and it was beyond strange to see this memory through DG's eyes, to see himself through DG's eyes. She obviously didn't quite see him the way he saw himself in the mirror. The blemishes and wrinkles that he was more than used to seeing everyday seemed to have been smoothed out. His eyelashes were longer and his nose was a little less pronounced. Maybe it was true what they said, that people saw those they loved through emerald-colored goggles.

They were both kneeling on the ground. Her fingers were running through his hair and she was kissing him and suddenly he could remember it happening from his point of view as well. He remembered her kissing him and stroking his face and feeling like he was floating on sunshine. What a thing to _remember..._

"Glitch, I don't want to wait anymore."

"Wait? Wait for what?" His response was rasped between breaths. It was hard to talk when she traced her fingernails up the back of his zipper. It was a sensation that always seemed to send little lightning bolts of pleasure tingling down his spine

"To get married. I don't want to keep having to hope that things go according to plan or that nothing else gets monkey wrenched into the works. I want to make certain that no matter what happens, we're together and nothing can change it. Not politics, not other people's opinions, nothing. Marry me tonight. No celebration, no fanfare. Just you and me."

He had to struggle to wrap his synapses around the thought and to force himself to think this over seriously. DG had begun to chew on her lip because he had taken so long to think about it. But it was a serious consideration and Glitch had tried to his best to sort through the pros and cons before giving her an answer. It didn't help that he couldn't think of a single one for either side.

_Ambrose_?

_Not my decision. Leave me out of it._

Damn. No help there. Glitch reached up to tug on his zipper to make sure it was closed, not even remembering that it was glued shut and couldn't accidentally be opened, it was such an ingrained habit.

"Alright." DG seemed shocked by his simple answer. "Deeg, you know I would do anything to make you happy. Just tell me what to do."

"Do you have a knife?"

"Ambrose does."

"Alright." DG chewed on her lip nervously. "You need to give it to me. As a gift. Sort of like a gift of your sword arm."

Glitch smiled at this. It would have been a lie to say that he hadn't been perfectly confused. "Oooookay. I can do that, I think." Glitch reached down to pull his pant leg up to reveal a dagger and sheathe that had been strapped to the top of his boot. He pulled the silver dagger out and handed it over. "Here you go, Deeg."

DG shook her head and began to chew on the tip of her thumbnail. It occurred to her that maybe it would be better if Tutor was actually here to make certain she didn't mess this up. "You have to do it a little more officially than that. It's for a spell sort of thing."

"Officially? Umm…? What do you mean?"

"Like a knight, vowing to protect his damsel."

"Ah. Gotcha…" Still, he hesitated.

"What's wrong?"

"I think you should be standing. If I'm going to kneel at your feet, it would work better if you were standing. I think."

"Oh, right!" DG stood. Then the absurdity of the situation hit her and she giggled. "I'm sorry, I feel kind of foolish doing this. I've never done a spell like this before."

Glitch smiled. "It's okay, DG. Just because you haven't done it YET, doesn't mean that you won't be wonderful at it when you do." He laughed too, nervous himself, and held out the ornate silver knife. "I feel a little silly myself saying this, but I give you this knife and the hand that wields it, the strength that drives it and the wisdom that commands it. Is that okay? Is that what you wanted?"

"Yeah, Glitch, it's perfect. Actually, it's exactly what was in the book Tutor showed me. Did Ambrose tell you to say that?"

"He might have hinted a little bit." Sometimes flashes of things popped into his head and Ambrose never took credit, but they had to come from somewhere and they certainly weren't from him.

"Actually, I'm kind of relieved. Maybe he knows what I'm trying to do. At least that makes one of us." She put a hand in her pocket and pulled out a blue ribbon that Tutor had given her. "I give to you this ribbon and the hand that holds it, the will that weaves it and the courage that binds it." She took the knife and exchanged it for the ribbon. "I come to you a woman, free of mind and heart, to bind myself to you and to the land with bonds of blood and magic that cannot be broken. If it is your wish to be so bound, step forward."

Glitch stood. He took a breath. Perhaps he had been scared, perhaps even nervous, but one look in DG's frightened eyes had filled him with such a desire to let her know that everything would be alright. His voice was strong as he repeated her words back to her. "I come to you a man, free of mind and heart, to bind myself to you and to the land with bonds of blood and magic that cannot be broken." DG smiled, reassured by him and Glitch smiled too, happy that she was happy. "So far, so good, right?"

DG nodded. "Except, now comes the tricky part. We used to do this in school, you know, blood sisters and stuff, until we found out you could get AIDS, but then it was only a little prick on the finger, and this…"

Glitch blinked, not sure if he was supposed to understand or not.

DG grinned, ducking her head in embarrassment. "I'm babbling. Hold out your left arm. This is the part that really sucks."

Glitch didn't hesitate. He held it out to her. "I trust you, DG." She looked paler as she took his left hand and held the knife. She took a deep breath, butterflies in her stomach. Then her eyes caught Glitch's, warm chocolate filled with perfect love and perfect trust for her. It gave her the courage to press the knife point into his skin at his wrist.

He flinched, but quickly soothed her. "It's alright. I trust you, Deeg."

She grit her teeth and drew the blade along his arm from wrist to elbow. He didn't flinch again, but gave her a shaky grin when she was finished. "At least Ambrose keeps his knives sharp, right?"

"Yeah. Your turn. You have to do the same to me."

"Oh, no, Deeg… I can't—"

"Glitch!" She pressed cool fingertips to the side of his face. "I trust you, too, my love. I know you won't hurt me." She pressed the knife into his hand. He swallowed hard and nodded. Looking even paler than DG had, he did the same thing to her left arm, as careful and as gentle as he could be while still drawing blood. "That's good. Now. Last part."

"Thank goodness…"

She took his left hand with hers. "Two souls, apart by birth, together by choice. Two souls, now as one, bound by magic and bound by blood." She pressed her bleeding arm to his. "Now, loop the ribbon around a few times."

"Like this?"

"Yeah, just like that."

"Oh, my! That's starting to tingle…"

A very curious sensation had begun to run down both of their arms. Glitch yelped with shock as a brilliant white light formed between their joined hands and trailed down the length of the blue ribbon. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and his teeth began to ache from the strange energy that coursed between them. His eyes were watering and just when he felt like he couldn't stand the pressure that was building up inside him, it broke over him like a wave of silvery moonshine and a percussive blast that left Glitch's ears ringing.

He gasped for breath, not even aware until now that his lungs were burning from lack of oxygen. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that DG's knees had buckled under her and she was falling. He caught her before she hit the floor and lifted her in his arms. "Deeg? DG!?"

_She's okay, Glitch. Our little minx is quite the pyrotechnic. She'll come back around in a minute or so. _

_Ambrose! What happened?_

_She tied you to the land and to her magic, thus to herself. Fairly impressive, actually. _

_I didn't know that weddings were like that._

_Not many of them are. That was a little more ancient and esoteric than they tend to be nowadays. Wonder where she heard of it…_

_I was expecting a cake._

_I was expecting to get laid when I got my body back. Can't always get what you want, Glitch, but I'll see what I can do about the cake._

Glitch was still holding DG's limp body in his arms. She groaned and curled in towards his chest a little more. He held her tighter. It only just now occurred to him that she might still be bleeding. He gingerly checked her arm and was shocked to see that the long gash he had cut into her arm was now nothing more than a blue line on her skin. Not even a scar. And that weird funny circle was back on her palm. He checked his own arm to find a similar line and circle.

_Hey, Ambrose… Look at that._

_Fascinating._

_I think I understand the line, but I don't get the circle._

_That's the royal crest of the House of Gale._

_Really? Wow. How can you tell?_

_It's a stylized tornado, it's not exactly difficult to place._

_Oh. Gotcha. And it's on my hand, why? _

_You're Prince Glitch of the House of Gale now… oh sweet Ozma. Glitch Gale… that's frightfully nauseating._

_Should I take her back to her room?_

_Normally I would applaud your suggestion, but there's a certain Tin Man stalking abroad and getting to DG's room requires covering an awful lot of hallway._

_The lab then?_

_No… no he's going to look there first, I think._

_So…?_

_Might have better luck getting to our bedroom. There's a lot less chance of tripping over well meaning and meddlesome people between here and there._

Glitch nodded and readjusted DG in his arms.

_Are you sure she's alright?_

_I'm sure._

_Are you really sure?_

_No. She's overreached herself and she's going to die._

_What? But you said—_

_Of course I'm sure, idiot._

…_. you said you weren't going to call me things like stupid anymore…_

_I didn't call you stupid, I called you an idiot and if you WEREN'T an idiot, you would know the difference. Second guessing the advice you requested is not only a waste of my time, but yours as well. _

_Don't hate me for asking this, Ambrose, but how can I waste your time AND my time? Our time is the same time, right? _

_Hmm... An interesting question. Assuming that time is finite and that we occupy the same hourglass, so to speak… yes, our time is the same time and equally wasted. _

_You saying 'assuming' makes me assume you don't think that's the case._

_Time isn't quantifiable._

_Sure it is. Watches quantify time all the time, right?_

_A watch is an interpretation of time, defined by the craftsman. Take three watches. Each is a minute off from the other. Which one tells the correct time?_

_The one that matches up to the clock in Central City?_

_How do you know that one tells the correct time?_

_Because… somebody has to know what time it is, somewhere around here._

_There you go. Time is infinitely subjective, relative to our understanding of it._

_And… what has that got to do with how much time we have to waste?_

_Assuming human life is an hourglass… an hourglass can be turned over to run again._

_So we could… age backwards?_

_Possibly. Something to think about._

_But then, I could waste all the time I wanted to and it wouldn't matter, right?_

_Only if you wanted to face the consequences… I have no qualms about breaking MY nose to teach YOU a lesson. Coast is clear, Glitch._

During this entire mental exchange, Glitch had carefully carried DG, cradled in his arms, out into the hallway and up the grand staircase. He had crouched at the top of the stairs, looking for anyone that might take exception to him carrying around an unconscious princess. At Ambrose's urging, he trotted forward, rearranged DG so he could fit the key into the door and just as he was about to open it…

"Zipperhead, you got about thirty seconds to explain what's going on here."

"Mr. Cain… Charming as ever." Ambrose turned to face him with a glare, DG still cradled gently in his arms.

Glitch laughed nervously. "Hi, Cain! Boy, this sure isn't what it looks like, let me tell you…"

_You said the coast was clear!_

_I thought it was. Usually he sticks out like a sore thumb. I can't imagine how he managed to out-sneak me… I feel vaguely affronted._

Cain was leaning against the wall with his own icy glare. "Oh, I know it isn't what it looks like, Glitch. Because if this is what it looks like, then I would have to kill you and you're my very good buddy and I don't want to have to kill you. Now, being my very good buddy and all, I know you would never do anything to put me in that position. So this can't be what it looks like."

"Mr. Cain…"

"Shut up, Ambrose."

A dark eyebrow arched imperiously. "Excuse me? And if I don't, Tin Man? What will you do?"

"Something."

"Ha. Something? How poetic."

_Ambrose, please don't… _

"Glitch is requesting rather adamantly that I don't skewer your sorry ass. Fortunately, I'm rather inclined to bow to his request tonight. Dammit! With a sword, Glitch, if that's what you're bloody giggling about! Ozma above, not everything I say is intended as innuendo, for crying out loud…"

In half a second, their face went from Ambrose's stern glower to Glitch's wide care-free grin, so fast that Cain wondered how they didn't end up pulling a muscle switching between the two of them like that.

"I'm sorry, Cain. I know I shouldn't laugh at that, but it's such a funny thought… Gyah! Stop thinking about that! I don't want to think about that, stop!"

Ambrose smirked. "You brought it up, Glitch. Maybe that'll teach you not to giggle at me."

"I'm sorry, Ambrose, I won't do it again. Oh, good. Much better. Speaking of sorry, Cain, you really should apologize, I mean, it's one thing when you tell ME to shut up, because I babble so much, but telling Ambrose to shut up when all he was doing was trying to answer your question, it's really kind of rude."

Ambrose blinked and shook his head, tilting his head sharply. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the train a second, Glitch… he tells you to shut up?"

Glitch ducked his head sheepishly. "Well, maybe a little, but only when I deserve it…"

Ambrose's eyes darkened a shade. "Now you listen here, Tin Man, the only person in this wide world who gets to talk down to Glitch, deserving or not, is ME and if you think otherwise there will be blood and tears, my friend."

Cain couldn't help but blink in confusion. "How did this get to be about me? Weren't you supposed to be explaining what you're doing sneaking around the hallway with an unconscious young princess in your arms? Dammit, Glitch! To your bedroom, even!?"

"Mr. Cain—"

"And don't you call me Mr. Cain. Everyone just calls me Cain, and you of all people don't get to be special."

"Okay, Cupcake. What I was trying to explain—"

"I don't even want to hear it!"

"Fine. Glitch, you talk to the Neanderthal. I give up." Ambrose mule-kicked the bedroom door open. He backed into the bedroom, holding DG protectively in his arms.

Cain followed him into the room. "Didn't you hear me, Ambrose? I'm not going to let you compromise DG in this way…"

Ambrose lay DG on the bed with as much care and tenderness in his being. As he pulled away, DG moaned and reached for him, tugging at his sleeve to pull him close to her again. She nuzzled her face against his shoulder and Ambrose had to brace himself against the headboard with his free hand to keep from falling on her. Her tired voice was slightly muffled by his shirt. "Hey… don't leave…"

He used the arm she was cuddling to smooth the hair back from her face with gentle strokes from his fingertips and kissed her on the forehead, whispering, "Go back to sleep…"

"Don't wanna sleep… want you…"

"I'll keep that in mind. You can have me when you wake up, kitten, I promise."

"Mmm okay… if you promise…"

"I promise."

Cain was at a loss. He couldn't tell who they were just now. Judging by the expression, he would guess Glitch. Surely only Glitch could look that happy and that much in love, and so full of simple joy that sunshine and puppy dogs were practically oozing out of his pores. And yet, his actions were entirely Ambrose; every motion, careful and precise, as he unlaced her tennis shoes and pulled them from her feet then covered her with a blanket.

"Why can't the two of you be easy to read?"

Ambrose looked up with a sneer. "Oh. It's you. You're still here, are you? Why can't you take the hint and leave?" He tried to run his fingers through his hair "Look, you heard her, she's fine, she wants me to stay. Don't recall hearing any mention of you, so why don't you take yourself elsewhere? Unless you WANT a threesome?"

Cain took a step forward, pulling out his gun, "Listen to me, you little shit—"

Glitch threw up his right arm to ward him off. "Cain! Cain please don't! I'm sorry about Ambrose, he's just a little pissed off because you insulted him, I don't want you two to fight, please stop! Please, please stop!"

Ambrose sighed and made a big production of raising his left hand and lowering the dagger to the floor that Cain hadn't even seen him palm.

Cain bristled. "Glitch, I don't want to fight Ambrose either, but I can't leave her here at the mercy of an insane—"

"You don't trust me, Cain?" Glitch's voice quivered slightly.

"I trust you, Glitch. It's Ambrose that sets my hackles up."

"Then it's very fortunate that you're not leaving her at MY mercy, Snickerdoodle, you're leaving her in the caring and protective hands of Glitch. HER HUSBAND."

"Don't try that hog wash on me. The wedding isn't for three more weeks."

"Hey, I'm not the one who changed the date, Snookums… Aw, crap. Glitch, what's wrong?" Ambrose turned his head, listening. Cain stepped forward and Ambrose held up a hand. "No. YOU get to shut up for a second. Glitch, I can't understand you when you mumble that fast…"

Cain cleared his throat. "Glitch? Something wrong?"

Glitch lifted his head to look at Cain, eyes red with unshed tears. "You don't trust me."

"Glitch, I never said…"

"What, Cain? Never said what? You don't have to say it. You don't trust me. You honestly think that I would let Ambrose hurt DG? Haven't I proven that I won't? Haven't I proven that I would do anything, ANYTHING that it takes to keep her safe? I guess I can understand why you would think Ambrose would hurt her, would drug her and rape her… I guess, if I pretend for a moment that he's not the Queen's most trusted advisor and one of the most respected men in the kingdom, maybe I can understand why you would think that of HIM, but that you think… you think that I would just let him do things like that? I can't… I thought we were friends… I thought that maybe I meant something to you, that you liked me… trusted me… but you don't, do you?"

"Glitch…"

"Don't. I don't want to talk to you right now. Maybe in the morning… Oh, who am I kidding? I won't even remember this in the morning. I'm just a headcase, right? So, just go. Take her if you want to protect her from me so badly, from the dangerous convict headcase, and just… just go and leave me alone. Leave US alone." He laughed to himself, tears finally rolling down his face. "Hey, why don't you go pal around with those guys from the party, the ones that Ambrose beat up? They don't think I should marry DG either, they said that I don't deserve her. They think I'm worthless too, so you should have a lot in common."

"Glitch, you're putting a whole lot of words in my mouth that I never said. Now, why don't you just—"

Glitch lashed out with a punch that caught Cain right across the jaw and sent him flying into the wall. Cain blinked and shook his head, flexing his jaw to assess the damage. "Ambrose, you son of a…"

"Ambrose says that he knows better than to break his knuckles on a skull as thick as yours and if it had been him, he would have just slapped you. He says he can slap hard enough to knock a man out cold. I'm sorry I hit you, Cain, but it felt really good. If you keep harassing Ambrose, I might do it again."

DG's confused voice drifted from the bed. "Glitch?"

Glitch turned away from Cain, shaking his head. "Hey, Deeg. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Glitch." She sat and stretched. "Did I pass out or something?"

"Or something." He sat beside her on the bed and smiled for her when she tenderly stroked his face. He caught her hand in his and kissed her fingers. "Ambrose says you made yourself explode quite impressively and it's hard to impress him, since he's blown himself up so many times. I think he means it as a compliment."

"Last thing I remember… Oh! Cain! I didn't see you there." She pulled the blanket up to her chest, a natural reaction in spite of being fully clothed. She looked from Glitch, who wouldn't meet her eyes, to Cain, who wouldn't look at Glitch, and smiled. "So. Whaaaaat are you doing on the floor?"

"Gaining a new perspective."

"From the floor?"

"You need to clean under the bed more, Glitch. No, don't come over here and hit me again. You got me good enough the first time." Cain stood up, rubbing his jaw. "Nothing for you to worry about, Princess. If I, uh… If I leave, will you be alright here?"

DG almost giggled at the worried sincerity in his eyes. "Yes, Cain, I'm sure we'll be fine. In fact, I think I would rather prefer it if you left."

"Because if you wanted me to, I would be more than happy to stay."

"Cain, I really appreciate you looking out for me, but Glitch and I will be perfectly fine together, I promise."

"Ambrose said something about the two of you…"

"Being married? Yes, we are. Goodnight, Cain."

Cain shook his head, defeated, muttering something about 'silly kids' as he shut the door behind him. He poked his head back in. "Hey, Glitch? I trust you with my life."

Glitch turned his head to look at Cain. "Yeah?"

Cain nodded and coughed. "I didn't… uh… what I mean is… Well, you know what I mean." He muttered something very gruff and manly before ducking out the door again.

DG laughed. "What was that about?"

It was Ambrose's eyes that turned to meet hers. "Cain hurt Glitch's feelings and Glitch decked him pretty solidly. I was impressed."

"I thought you didn't impress easily."

"Not by explosions. I am the undefeated champion of explosions."

"Funny, I don't remember there being any fire…"

"Don't need fire. Blinding light and deafening noise work perfectly fine in a pinch."

"So Glitch punched Cain, huh?"

"It's complicated."

"Sounds it."

"Cain thought I was dragging you here so that I could have my wicked, evil, horrendous way with your tender, helpless, virgin self."

DG blushed. "Well, at least he only has to worry about one of those adjectives."

Ambrose slowly tilted his head sideways to give her a very queer sort of look. "Just one?"

"I haven't been helpless since I was five, and well…. The other one hasn't been an issue since I was sixteen."

"You haven't been tender since you were sixteen?" DG shot him a look, but he continued, not quite smiling. "That makes sense I suppose. Lamb and veal are extremely tender whereas mutton and steak are not. Unless you spend hours and hours pounding away at them with a tenderizer, naturally. I've never given much thought to tenderness in human females, so if you say the age cutoff is sixteen, I might be inclined to believe you."

"Hey! Are you saying I'm old?"

"Not at all. I'm just agreeing that you might no longer be considered young and tender."

"That's nonsense and you know it!"

"Poor Glitch… He thought he was marrying a fair young maiden and look at you. Practically an old goat…"

"Ambrose! I am trying to make a confession to you and you're being an ass!"

"And I appreciate it. The confession, I mean. I never would have known you weren't tender unless you had told me. It's disappointing, yes, but I suppose I can manage. Poor Glitch, though, will be terribly shocked and appalled."

"I AM tender, dammit!"

"So, you ARE tender then, yes? Hmm… then that must mean…" Ambrose gasped. He laughed at the expression on her face. "Why, dearest vixen, you're blushing quite frightfully. You aren't embarrassed are you? Aw, kitten, what's wrong?"

"I've been trying to work up the nerve to tell you and you're sitting there making fun of me!"

"I'm not making fun of you. I might be teasing you a bit, but you're a tough little minx. A little teasing isn't going to hurt a tough little minx like you. You have to know that Glitch wouldn't care about something like that. He loves you too much. I'm surprised you let yourself get worked up over it."

"It's not Glitch that I was worried about telling, Ambrose."

"Me? You were worried about ME?"

"Well… you're… it's just… I don't know! Sometimes you strike me as sort of… old fashioned… or proper about things like that, and I don't know… it just… it seemed…"

"Gee. You make me sound like a prude."

"No! That's not what I meant!" DG grabbed a pillow and covered her face while she shouted in frustration.

"Dear heart, sweetling, my star of the county down… did I forget to mention that I am myself, shall we say, somewhat of a sexual deviant? At least by most people's standards, anyhow. It would be bordering on hypocritical for ME to be judgmental of such things, yes? I mean, I did mention that I was mostly of the promiscuous bent right? AND not a virgin as well, yes?"

"Oh, Ambrose, don't get all ruffly like that, you know I didn't mean it that way."

"I'm not being ruffly. I'm trying to put a leash on my brain. It's going into overdrive trying to catalog all of the lascivious ways I can prove to you that I'm truly as degenerate as I keep warning you."

"Hmm… does that degenerate stuff involve neckties, I wonder?" DG wrapped her arms around him from behind and began undoing the silk cravat at his neck.

He caught her hand and kissed her knuckles. "Normally it would, but unfortunately this isn't the night for it. However, I will keep that thought handy. Hold on one second."

_Hey! Glitch! Stop sulking and come out._

…_I'm not sulking._

_If you say so. Our honeydoll wants to talk to you so put the pity party on hold and come say hi._

_Pity party? Can't you just leave me alone…?_

_Leave you alone? Why? Am I annoying you?_

_Yes._

_Then no, I can't leave you alone. I rarely get an opportunity to annoy you back._

_Ambrose._

_Glitch. _

_I'm having a bad night. PLEASE leave me alone._

_I bet you… something cool… that you can't even remember why you feel so miserable. _

_That's not fair and you know it._

_How about I show you some of the good parts of tonight, would that make you feel better?_

_No. It would just remind me that I can't remember anything without your help and I don't LIKE remembering that I need you to remember stuff for me._

_Alright. I won't. But if you don't get out here and snuggle with DG, I might end up snuggling in your place._

_Is that supposed to upset me? I won't remember anyway. _

_Okay, Sourpuss, if you don't come out in five seconds, I'm going to throw you out and you won't like it when I do it, I guarantee you._

_Not a sourpuss, thank you._

_One…_

_But even if I was a sourpuss…_

_Two…_

_At least I'm not a grouchy old man like you. Whoah! Hey!_

"Gyah! Not fair! You never got to three!"

Glitch flailed and overbalanced, teetering on the edge of the bed. DG caught his arm and pulled him forward to safety, embracing him and kissing his forehead. "Hey there, goofball. You okay?"

Glitch sighed happily and relaxed in her arms. "Am now." He gave her a tight squeeze before squirming and snuggling and twisting around to find a comfy spot to lay. He ended up lying with his head in her lap, staring up at her with a dreamy smile as she twirled a lock of his hair around her finger.

"Was Ambrose being mean to you?"

"Yes!"

_Liar._

"Well, maybe only kind of. I knew he could shove me to the back when he wanted, I didn't know he could shove me to the front, too. It made my head spin."

_Warned you…_

"Aww, my poor Glitch." She kissed him again. "Do you need me to smack some sense into him for you?"

Copper eyes twinkled as Ambrose smirked. "Kitten, as formidable as I know you to be, I seriously doubt that you--"

DG grabbed a pillow and thwacked him with it as hard as she could. Ambrose laughed and rolled off the bed, grabbing his own pillow as he went. No sooner did he touch the floor than he had rolled to his feet in a fighting stance, pillow at the ready.

"Think you can best a full knight at this game, your Highness? Let's see you try."

DG charged him. She never had a chance. She did manage to land a few well placed blows before Ambrose disarmed her and hooked an arm around her waist and dragged her kicking and laughing back to the bed. He tossed her casually to the center and then clambered up next to her in a very Glitch-like manner and kissed her on the nose with a self-satisfied smirk. "I win. To the victor go the spoils?"

DG grinned and shook her head. "Nope. To the victor's alter ego go the spoils."

"Damn." Ambrose was smiling as Glitch smoothly took over again. "Thanks, Deeg. You're the greatest."

"You're entitled to your opinion. Personally, I think that YOU'RE the greatest."

Glitch smiled and ducked his head, pleased at the comment. "We can't BOTH be the greatest and I said it first, so there."

"Well, I'm the princess and what I say goes, so there."

Glitch grinned mischievously. "Well, I'm your husband and what I say goes more, so there."

"And as my husband, you are required to let me win."

"I am?"

_Yes. Better get used to it._

"Yes, you are."

"That's not very fair."

"True." DG slid behind him so she could wrap her arms around him and kiss his cheek. "But there are some very good perks to letting me get my way."

"Really?" He turned his head to look at her and she caught his lips in a heated kiss. Her eyes were like sapphires and Glitch could swear that he was drowning in blue.

She smiled wickedly as she began unbuttoning his shirt. "Definitely…"

* * *

The memory shimmered and Glitch was left sitting on the bed with DG, his body tingling and his limbs heavy. "Wow. So that's what it's like to remember stuff."

"I thought you could remember things now that you have Ambrose?"

"Well, Ambrose remembers things, then he summarizes them for me when I ask. Except right now, of course, since he's being kind of a cantankerous old meaney about it."

_Grr…_

DG giggled. "Did Ambrose just growl at you?"

"Yes. It was probably that 'old' comment… Hey! You heard him too!" Glitch grinned.

_Now, that IS fascinating. Could you hear me before you did that memory charm, or is this a new development?_

"New development, I think."

_This warrants some looking into. Later, when my head isn't hurting so much… _

"You know, Deeg, I was going to ask… That memory you showed me explains the tattoo, but it doesn't explain Ambrose's hangover OR all these bruises."

_The hangover is none of your concern._

"Oooh, it sounds like he was up to something sneaky, doesn't it Glitch?"

_Drop it._

DG shook her head. "Not until you tell us. Otherwise you'll never get any sleep and your headache won't ever go away. Seems to me, Ambrose, that it might behoove you to give in this time."

_Minxy little kitten. Alright. Mr. Cain and I had some unresolved issues to attend to. After you and Glitch fell asleep, snuggled in Morphean bliss, I hunted him down and challenged him to a duel. As the challenged, he was permitted to choose his weapon of choice. He chose bourbon. Four bloody bottles of it. Naturally, he lost, but not without inflicting some grievous pain, the bastard. Still, to the victor go the spoils. Tee hee._

"You… Oh, Ambrose, please tell me you didn't!"

_Didn't what?_

"Didn't… didn't take advantage of him… You didn't, did you?"

_I did, in fact, take advantage of the fact that he was drooling unconscious on the floor, but not in the way you think. I am satisfied to know that in approximately three to four hours he shall awaken and scream like a girl and I shall have it caught on holograph and will be able to watch it over and over and over again because I am the greatest evil genius to ever walk this world. Mua ha ha._

"What did you do?"

_I dyed him pink. And his room. And his clothes. And his horse, too, but sadly I don't have a TDSPHTL set up to capture THAT glorious moment… Oh well. I'll just have to get Glitch to imagine it for me once in a while. Now if you don't mind excusing me, your Highness? I'm going to curl over and die, like I've been trying to do for the last hour. Glitch, try not to let her corrupt you too much._

Glitch kissed DG quickly on the cheek before reaching over to the cart that Ambrose had ordered from the kitchen and that the maid had left not even five minutes before (Glitch knew because he had glanced at the clock on his desk). He lifted one of the silver lids long enough to snag a juicy piece of bacon and a warm, buttery piece of brioche. He rested on his elbows, munching thoughtfully on the bacon while DG crawled up beside him. He very nearly lost his balance when she forced her way under his arm, but he recovered in time to give her enough room to snuggle up next to him. He grinned happily and kissed the top of her hair. "I love you so much, Deeg. You're my absolutely most favorite person in the whole world."

"Really? Is that why you're frowning so intently?"

"No. I was frowning because I was thinking… I think I was going to ask you something, but then I started thinking about food, and now I'm thinking about you and I almost thought I knew what I was trying to be thinking about, but I think I might have lost it."

_Bruises…_

"Oh! I was going to ask you about bruises! Whose bruises?"

_Your bruises, knucklehead._

"My bruises? I have bruises? OH! Those ones! The ones I saw in the mirror! I tried asking Ambrose how I got them but he said I should ask you."

"He did, did he?"

Glitch nodded. "Or maybe… well, I don't know. I guess it's kind of a silly thing to worry about. I've hurt myself worse before and couldn't remember how I did it then either, so I guess it's no big deal. I think they just startled me and I was curious."

"Glitch, I don't mind showing you how that happened…" She ran her fingernails up the base of his skull and he shivered in delight.

"Really? Are you going to do that cool flashy memory thing?"

"No. I thought it would be more fun to just demonstrate." She kissed him softly on the lips, watching his worried brown eyes watch her.

"What if I forget again?" His voice was a soft whisper, betraying the anxiety he felt.

"Then I'll just have to keep showing you over and over until you remember."

She pushed him over onto this back and began trailing kisses down his neck to his collar bone.

The light trailing in through the window dazzled Glitch's eyes like sparklers and the things that DG was doing to him were sending his other senses reeling into explosive starbursts of amazing sensation. There was nothing quite like snuggling under warm blankets on a Sunday morning with the person you love.

And Glitch was determined not to forget this time.


	17. Chapter 17

Not What He Seems part 17

Phantaz-Magoria

A/N: I can't believe it took me 17 chapters to finally get to the plot. Of course that's what happens when something starts as a cute little one shot, PWP short story, right? I love reviews, even if it's a quick note to say that there's people out there still reading this. Thanks for hanging in there with me, I'm afraid I've still got more than a few chapters left to go. But I think I need to brush the dust off my other poor story first. I think it's starting to grow weeds. Eek.

* * *

When Cain finally found DG, it was, naturally, in the last place he would have looked. Of course, the capitol building in Central City was a far cry from either Finaqua or the Northern Palace and had given him a whole flurry of new hiding places to get used to. Still, he hadn't been expecting her to watch the delegates from the other nations arrive, much less from a secluded corner partially hidden by a curtain.

"Ambrose is starting to rub off on you."

She must have jumped a foot in the air. "Cain!" She smacked him on the shoulder, eyes electric blue with chagrin. "Don't startle me like that!"

"Kid, you're so wound up in watching the procession there, an elephant could have snuck up and startled you."

She glared at him for a moment longer then shrugged and returned to watching. "He's supposed to arrive today."

"Who?" Cain stood beside her, watching as well.

"The king of the Golden Islands. The guy that mother thinks is going to cause trouble for Ambrose."

"My heart won't be broken any."

"Cain, if something happens to my husband and I find out that you knew about it and didn't stop it because of your masculine insecurity issues, I will murder you myself. Are we clear?"

"Crystal, Princess."

"Good."

Cain shifted on his feet and crossed his arms across his chest with a sigh. "What I meant to say, DG, is that IF anybody was stupid enough to try anything, I'm sure that Ambrose will be a hop, step and a dance ahead of them. Hell, he'll probably know what they're planning before they even think of it themselves."

"Well, be that as it may, I love him too much to rest his welfare on a 'probably'."

"Ambrose can take care of himself."

"It's not Ambrose that I'm talking about."

"Ambrose can take care of Glitch too."

"I don't know, Cain, I still can't shake that feeling that something bad is going to happen."

Cain put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Just don't forget. You aren't alone, kid. None of us are gonna let anything happen to you. OR to Glitch."

"Raw help too."

DG turned sharply. Raw stood unobtrusively behind the nearby pillar. She had been so wrapped up in watching the crowd in the courtyard, she hadn't noticed him sneaking up either.

"Geeze, how many more people can fit in one secret hiding spot?"

"DG unhappy?"

Cain shook his head. "DG's just worried about her headcase. She thinks someone's gonna try and pull a fast one on us."

Raw closed his eyes and concentrated hard for a few moments then shook his head. "Raw see nothing… But… feel something… bad something."

DG's eyes widened and she shot Cain a look. "See? It's not just me!"

Cain's eyes narrowed. "Don't suppose you could narrow it down a bit?"

Raw opened his eyes and shook his head sorrowfully. "Too many people. Too much to see."

DG's shoulders slumped and she let out a sigh. Cain gave her a pat on the back. "Don't worry, kiddo. Between all of us, we'll be able to keep an eye on things."

"I think I would feel better if I just knew what he was going to do. I don't suppose you have any ideas at all?"

"Why don't you ask Ambrose? He's better at this politics thing than all of us combined."

"He's locked himself in his room. I don't think he plans on coming out anytime soon, either. He was talking about living on room service for the next two weeks."

"And he locked you out?"

"I know, right? I mean, TECHNICALLY he has a good point." DG lifted her left hand and twisted the ring on her finger. "Technically we are still not yet official so technically sharing a room is still bad juju. Technically I'm still aggravated, though. The sooner this conference peace talk thing is over, the happier I'll be. How long is this supposed to take, anyhow?"

Raw shook his head. Cain shrugged. "Sorry, kid. Your mother might have a better idea."

"Well, as it happens, I'm avoiding my mother right now, so talking to her is out."

Cain's eyes fixed on DG's face, a hawk honing in on the tiniest hint of trouble. "Something up?"

"Well, you know that look she gets when she knows you've done something wrong but she can't figure out what it is yet?"

"Yup. I know that look. Adora had that same look. I think they call it a woman's intuition."

"Well, I've done something that she won't approve of and she KNOWS I've done something she won't approve of, so the less time I spend around her, the less opportunity she has to find out what it was."

"Care to let an old man in on the secret?"

"You already know what it is."

"Enlighten me."

"Ok. Mom doesn't know that I married Glitch."

"That's hardly gonna kill her."

"And she doesn't know that when I did, I gave him just the teensiest, tinsiest bit of my magic."

Cain gave her a startled look. Raw didn't seem too surprised. "You mean you USED your magic, right?"

"No, I gave him some."

"You gave the nutcase your magic? Why does that not sound like a good idea?"

"It's not a bad one either. It's just not an idea that my mother would understand."

Cain huffed. "Well, Raw? You don't seem to have a problem with it."

"Never problem where love is concerned. Ambrose, Glitch BOTH love DG. This good thing."

"Trust a fuzzball to take the lovey dovey side."

"Raw takes good side."

Cain rolled his eyes.

DG sighed. "I wish I could see the future."

_Almost the moment the words were out of her mouth, white light assaulted her eyes accompanied by a rapid shifting kaleidoscope of images. She could see herself, much older and with the crown on her head, sitting in a room in the ice palace, a shawl held close around her shoulders. It was obvious that she'd been crying for some time, a piece of paper clutched tightly in her hand. Two women stood behind her, tall and beautiful, each sad, each a copy of her and her sister. A man stood by the window and when he turned DG caught her breath. It was Ambrose… but his eyes were blue. He walked up to the old DG sitting in the chair and hugged her tight, his voice the soft, familiar timbre of her dear Glitch "I'm so sorry, mother. It will be alright, I promise…"_

_The vision flashed forward… or was it backward? Because now they were at Finaqua and the two girls were much younger, screaming gaily as they chased their father along the lake shore. Glitch was smiling fit to be tied as he caught them each in his arms and spun them around. With a squeal of delight, all three of them tumbled to the ground and Glitch was tickling the girls and they were screaming, "Daddy! Daddy!" DG smiled as she watched them, her son standing by her side. He was too old to play games of tag but he was fidgeting, anxious for his father to take him out riding. Nothing made DG happier than watching her husband and her children…_

_Again the memory shifted, and Glitch was holding her hand as she screamed while the midwife gave her words of encouragement and told her to breathe. Glitch smoothed the sweaty hair out of her face and smiled his beautiful smile, "You're doing great, Deeg. If Ambrose were here, he would say to keep up the good work." She bit down on another scream, gasping in agony. Glitch's eyes twinkled like copper stars and he squeezed her hand tighter. "Come on, Deeg. Push again, doll. Just one more time, okay?" DG screamed again. "You said one more time an hour ago!" The force she exerted on his hand was enough to break bones, but his easy smile never wavered. "Yes, but I mean it this time. Come on, doll, would I lie to you?" DG was laughing and crying and not even a minute later, a writhing, screaming, tiny little baby was being placed gently in her arms. Her husband knelt beside her, smiling and kissing her face. "Glitch, he's beautiful…"_

_The vision shifted and she was in a room filled with sunlight and Glitch was putting on a clean shirt and DG ran to him, grabbing him around the neck and hugging him tightly. "I thought I was never going to see you again!" She buried her nose in his neck and she could smell the comforting scents of clean soap and fresh linen. He held her tightly. "Silly girl, I told you everything would be alright. Why didn't you believe me?" DG leaned back and looked up at him. She laughed tearfully. "You cut your hair." She reached up and ran her fingers through the short fuzzy tendrils. "I was tired of not being able to wash it properly. Dearest, you're crying." She nodded and buried her face in his shirt again."Don't ever scare me like that again..."  
_

_This time she was on a balcony overlooking the square in Central City. And the gallows that had been rebuilt where it stood during the Witch's reign. A crowd had gathered and were cheering as a man climbed the stairs, resolute and calm in spite of the imminence of his execution. Her heart clenched. She would know that man anywhere, in spite of the terrible bruising and the blood that covered his face. It was Ambrose. His hands were cuffed behind him and the crowd jeered as the executioner positioned him beneath a noose. Ambrose looked up and his eyes found DG's. It was her eyes he stared into, mouthing the words, "I love you," just before a black hood was fitted over his head. The noose was tightened around his neck. A heartrending cry ripped from her throat as the executioner pulled the lever and his body dropped through the trapdoor, stopping with a violent jerk. "Glitch! No!" His booted feet twitched as he dangled in the air and the crowd cheered. She felt her knees grow weak as a velvety, poisonous voice whispered into her ear, "I always get what I want, your Highness…"_

The light flashed painfully bright and she was falling. Strong arms caught her and held her as the world spun violently around her. "Whoa! Kid? You okay? Raw!"

DG blinked woozily as a warm palm pressed against her forehead. "DG okay. Just needs to rest."

DG struggled to stand, but she was already being lifted and carried to a bench in the shade. A voice that she had never heard before and yet knew without a shadow of a doubt in her heart was calling out in velvety tones. "Ramiel! Bring water, quickly!"

The Queen's frantic voice, "DG, darling! Cain, what happened?"

"She fainted. I don't know what happened."

The velvety voice was there again. "Here, give her some water. Ramiel…"

A cup was pressed to her lips and cool water filled her mouth. She swallowed and the coolness rushed down through her, filling her with energy she hadn't realized she had lost. Her eyes opened and the light filtering down into the court yard filled her vision, blinding her for a moment. She almost thought she was being sucked back into the dream again. But the light cleared and she could see her mother's worried lavender eyes staring down at her.

"DG?"

"I'm fine, mom." She struggled to sit up, but Cain's strong hands held her down.

"Easy kid, not until we're sure you're alright."

"I'm fine, I just… My magic got away from me for a moment. That's all."

"Sounds like quite enough, I'm sure." That was the velvet voice, the one from her vision. She shaded her eyes and looked up to see a man in his early thirties with golden blonde hair and strangely yellow eyes. He looked to the young man who held the water cup. "Thank you, Ramiel. See to it that my room is prepared." The boy nodded with a mumbled, "Yes, your Majesty," and pressed the cup into DG's hand before turning and leaving.

DG sipped more water. The Queen patted her gently on the hand. "Are you sure you're alright, dear?"

"Yeah… yeah, mom. It was weird, though. It was like…" The Queen's slender fingers squeezed her hand sharply. DG got the hint. She would tell her the truth when they were alone. "It was… I don't know. Like a dream, I guess. Just nonsense. That I can tell you about later. Umm… who is this?" Her eyes focused on the man with yellow eyes.

He smiled, a charming, bright smile that seemed sincere, his strange yellow eyes crinkling up at the corners. "Forgive my rudeness, your Highness. I had intended on presenting myself more properly."

The Queen's eyes darted up at him, then softened as they returned to her daughter's face. "DG, this is—"

"Midas Phyrigia." It was strange, he seemed much too young to be the same man that had destroyed Ambrose's home and yet she knew without a doubt that it was him.

"Yes, dear." The Queen's lips were a thin, strained smile.

"You've heard of me?" The handsome man's almost perfect eyebrows shot up in surprise. "That is at one time flattering and puzzling. I can't imagine why you would have heard of _me,_ your Highness."

Almost immediately, DG realized her mistake. The only reason she knew of him was because of Ambrose and they were still trying to keep him a secret.

"I saw you in a dream I had… just now. I saw you introduce yourself to me. Like I said, it was pretty weird."

"A princess who can see the future? 'Weird' is not the word I might have chosen. Intriguing, perhaps?"

The look he was giving her made DG feel weird enough. Prickly all over and the hairs on the back of her neck were standing up. She wasn't sure if it was the man's yellow eyes that creeped her out so much or if it was the way that he was sizing her up, like she was a meal to be eaten.

"I'd trade intriguing for normal any day of the week."

"You are far from normal, your Highness."

"I think you're overestimating me." DG swallowed some more water, nervous in spite of herself.

"I think my daughter should be allowed to rest, Midas."

"As you say, Lavandula. I wouldn't want her to overexert herself any more than she has."

"And I am still right here. You don't have to talk about me like I'm in some other room."

"DG, darling, don't be rude."

DG opened her mouth to say something, but Cain interrupted her. "I'll take her to her room, your Majesty. She'll be fine after she gets some sleep."

DG growled softly, but the look Cain gave her told her to bite her tongue for now. Cain helped her to stand. The Golden King took her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. DG couldn't help but notice that his skin was far too soft, soft like a woman's hand would be if she got a manicure every day of her life and didn't do an ounce of real work. Growing up on the farm, her hands had never been soft. Ambrose's hands weren't soft, though to see him in the painting that hung in the great hall at the Northern Palace, you would think they would have been. His hands were slender, but strong, nimble and dexterous, but capable of a great many things. They certainly weren't soft, not like this man's.

DG smiled. Or maybe she was just determined not to like him. Maybe that's why she found his lily-soft skin so repulsive.

Midas obviously mistook the nature of her smile. "I look forward to conversing with you again, your Highness. When you are well."

"Likewise, your Majesty." DG gave him the barest semblance of a curtsy. "Until next time." She placed her hand on Cain's arm and pressed the other to her forehead. It wouldn't hurt to play up the damsel in distress card this one time, she thought, if it would help her enemy to underestimate her in the future. Cain led her away.

The moment she was out of ear shot of the main courtyard, DG sighed with relief. "Thanks, Cain."

"Anytime, Princess. You sure you're okay?"

"That slimy bastard is going to kill my husband. He's a damned fool if he thinks I'm not going to stop him."

"Kiddo, if this is about that bad feeling you've been having—"

"I saw it, Cain. I saw it happen like it was clear as day. They're going to hang him in the street like he's some kind of criminal and I'm not going to let that happen to him, Cain, I'm not!"

"Easy there, kid." Cain pulled her into a hug. "None of us are going to let that happen, I promise."

DG relaxed in Cain's embrace. She sighed and smiled. "You know, Cain, you are the best father figure a princess could ask for."

"I know. My son tells me the same thing."

"He does not!"

"No, you're right. Jeb's a good boy, but I think he would suck at the princess gig."

DG smiled up at Cain, then continued walking down the corridor. "How is Jeb? Is he going to visit while we're here?"

"He's keeping busy. Central City has been without a true police force for almost ten annuals. Pulling a new one together from scratch is no mean feat."

"And I'm sure he's doing marvelously. Marvelously enough to get away for a day or two to come visit, you think? He never comes to the palace because it's too far to get away, surely he can take an hour out of his day to come have lunch with his dad."

"Are you trying to look out for me, kiddo?"

"Somebody has to."

Cain smiled. "I'll send him a letter. He might be able to get away for an hour."

"Good." DG nodded.

"I'm afraid that having an extra pair of eyes in the building for only an hour isn't going to help much in your cause."

"True, but it will give me a chance to ask him to station a couple extra sets of eyes in the area."

"Telling you, kid. Ambrose is rubbing off on you."

"Is that really such a bad thing?"

"I just don't want to see my sweet little girl turning into a scheming, conniving gutter snake."

"I'd rather be a conniving gutter snake that protects my family than a sweet little bunny that cowers in terror when they're taken away. Family's important, right? I can't remember who taught me that."

"Ouch. Guess you got me there."

"And Ambrose isn't a snake."

"What is he then?"

"Can't you tell?" DG grinned. "He's a wolf in sheep's clothing."

* * *

Five minutes later, when she opened the door to Glitch's room, she was shocked and appalled at the sight that greeted her. "Ambrose Glitch Gayliach Filo Lodathika Silvandra Agincourt Gale! What the HELL have you done to my iPod?"

Ambrose looked up from his desk where the iPod in question was separated into individual piles of pieces. He blinked at her owlishly over the rims of his slender gold reading glasses. "You said my full name."

"I'm about to do a lot more than that."

He carefully removed his glasses and tucked them into a vest pocket. "Do you have any idea what sorts of evil and interesting things you can do to a person when you invoke their full name?"

"Don't you dare change the subject!"

"I'm just saying that Rumpelstiltskin got off lightly, if you get my drift. Surely a small little trinket like this isn't worth doing evil and interesting things to me over?"

"You BROKE my iPod!"

"Hardly broken. Merely disassembled."

"As if there's a difference!"

"Well, certainly there's a difference. If I'd broken it, it would stay broken. Since I merely disassembled it and have every intention of putting it back together…" Ambrose shrugged, then frowned at her curiously. "Er, how did you get in? I'm certain that door was locked…"

"I wouldn't have picked the lock if you had answered the door. And why would you even disassemble it in the first place?!"

"I just wanted to see how it worked." He turned his attention back to the tiny piles of circuit boards . "It's really very fascinating. I've never seen anything like this before."

"Yeah, well get over it and put it back right this instant."

Ambrose carefully picked up a delicate microchip. "Do you know what this is?"

"No, but it's probably fragile so put it back!"

"Probably true." He sighed and moved his hand to set it back on the desk then suddenly dropped his gaze to the floor, searching intently. "Oh dear. That can't be good."

"You dropped it?!" DG rushed forward a step before stopping herself. She didn't want to accidentally step on it.

Ambrose laughed. "I'm only teasing, kitten, it's right here."

"Ambrose, you are about two smart-ass comments away from me punching you in the face."

He sighed and set the microchip down then sat in a chair, lounging back and steepling his fingers, observing her as carefully as he had the first time they spoke face to face. She almost expected to see him wave a hand and present a tea service out of thin air. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet. "Is there something bothering you, DG?"

DG scoffed. "No! Other than the fact that you think it's okay to destroy my stuff without my permission!"

"I was trying to fix it."

"It wasn't even broken! The battery was dead!"

Ambrose gestured towards the other chair, inviting DG to sit down. She huffed a sigh and came to sit down.

"I am aware of how archaic and simplistic our technology may seem to an Othersider, but please don't assume that because I have never seen a computer with my own eyes that I am entirely ignorant of their existence. Even a computer as teensy tiny as this one."

DG gave him a disbelieving look. "How could you POSSIBLY know anything about computers?"

"Popular Science has been in publication in your world since 1872. I used to have quite a collection. I've read all about your Nikola Tesla and his alternating current. In fact, a great many of the technologies we have revolve around many of his ideas. I should know; I adapted most of them myself."

"Yeah. Tesla. Okay. That explains where those steam-punk psychos you call alchemists get their gripping sense of style from. But Tesla didn't invent computers."

"No. The first programmable analog computer was created in 1206 by Al-Jazari, the same Islamic engineer who invented the camshaft. I'd be willing to bet you didn't know that."

"An analog computer, which I'm sure is nothing more than a glorified cuckoo clock, isn't even close to the same thing as a digital computer."

"It was more of a cuckoo castle than a cuckoo clock, but I see your point. Still, the first digital computer was built in 1937 by George Stibitz and in 1940 he demonstrated the first instance of remotely controlling a computer by sending data over the telephone lines. And YOU, Dorothygale, are still missing the point."

"Fine! You know everything! I stand corrected. But if you know all these things about computers, why don't you have any here? Can you answer that?"

"Because magnetic memory is a sensitive and fragile thing and the magical field that surrounds almost every living thing in this world tends to distort it beyond repair. It's like trying to use a sewing needle to nail together two pieces of ply-board and hammering it in with a ten pound sledgehammer. Woefully ineffective."

"Great. So now my iPod is still broken AND the memory is getting wiped. Can't you just leave it alone?"

"Fine. I'll put it back together. After I finish recharging the battery."

"You just said that magic and technology don't mix, so how exactly were you planning on recharging it without blowing it up?"

"You obviously weren't listening to the entire discussion."

"I've been listening! I've been listening to you prove how smart you are by throwing out useless information that you know I don't know and have no interest in!"

"I thought you liked camshafts."

"I like them better when I'm not pissed off!"

"Deeg—"

"Don't call me that if you aren't Glitch, please." DG was still angry but she felt a sudden surge of guilt at the look of intense hurt that crossed his face.

"DG…" Ambrose sighed and his shoulders dropped. "If you don't tell me what's wrong, I can't fix it. I can't fix what I don't know is broken, surely you must realize that, yes?"

"I'm not a broken toy you can fix, Ambrose. There's nothing wrong with me."

Ambrose was silent for a few moments. He sighed again and shook his head, standing quickly and returning to the desk, his movements sharp and precise as he began reassembling the pieces.

"Ambrose—"

"Glitch is waking up, you can talk to him in a moment."

DG placed a hand on his shoulder, wincing when he flinched at her touch. He turned his head to look at her briefly before returning his attention to the delicate task of screwing the miniature motherboard back into the casing. Her voice was softer when she spoke. "Ambrose, I didn't come to talk to Glitch, I came to talk to you."

"Huh. Interesting. That's quite the break from tradition, isn't it, your Highness?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I've grown accustomed to you preferring Glitch's company. The fact that you would rather speak to me is surprising, particularly given that you've already made it abundantly clear that there is no immediate problem that requires my assistance in fashioning a solution for."

"You make it sound like all I do is use you when it's convenient for me."

"Don't you?"

"I'd like to think not! How could you think that of me?"

Ambrose shrugged and fit the two halves of casing together, smiling faintly as they clicked back into place. He pressed the play button and his eyebrows raised in mock surprise. "Hey, what do you know? It works…" Sure enough, DG could hear the hard drive spinning up as the little device turned on.

DG's shoulders slumped. She had the sinking feeling that it was her own bad mood that had taken Ambrose from his euphoria of discovery while he was tinkering with her iPod to this subdued sadness while he almost casually commented on something that must have been extremely exciting to him not even moments before she had walked into the room. It was just a trinket after all, he was right about that. She wasn't sure she could reverse the damage she'd done at this point. "Okay. I give up. How did you do that?"

"It's not important."

Yup. That was a sure sign of irreparable damage, right there.

"Okay, okay. I lied." Ambrose frowned and turned his attention back to her. DG twisted the ring on her finger and continued. "I had a vision today. I saw you die. They hung you in Central Square. Your feet twitched and everything."

Ambrose looked at her consideringly. "A vision? Are you certain?"

"I think so. My magic's been on the fritz ever since… well, you know. I said that I wished I could see the future and suddenly it goes off and sucks me into this insane vision. I saw myself really old and I saw our children and then I saw our son being born and I saw you being hung at the gallows in Central Square."

"The gallows have been taken down."

"Apparently somebody gets the brilliant idea of putting them back up again."

Ambrose pulled a thin gold case from his pocket, selecting one of the neatly rolled cigarettes inside and twirling it casually in his fingers for a moment before lighting it. "There's a distinct possibility that your magic was only showing you POSSIBLE futures." He blew smoke up towards the ceiling and turned towards her, leaning back against the edge of the desk. He reached back to flick the ashes from his cigarette out the open window. "The tricky thing about seeing the future is that unless you believe in an inherent destiny that's already written in the stars, then you have to assume that every possible future is reliant on a string of individual decisions made by people in the given situations they find themselves in."

"So if something changes… then you won't die?"

"It's possible that by telling me that I am meant to die, you've already changed the events that lead to its occurrence. You can be certain that I won't sit around and wait to be executed." He flicked more ashes out the window.

"So that's it?"

"That's it."

"You aren't going to do anything about it?"

"Nope."

"You're just going to sit and wait for it to happen?"

"Yeah, something like that. Yup."

"How can you just shrug off dying like that?"

"Quite easily, I'm afraid." Ambrose looked around for an ashtray. Seeing none, he licked his fingers and pinched the lit end of the cigarette, crushing out the embers. "Tell me something: would it matter?" He rolled his eyes. "Well, hell, that's a silly question, isn't it? Of course it matters. If I die, Glitch dies, right?"

"And why do you think that I don't care about you just as much?"

"Hey, Deeg, what's up?" Glitch yawned and stretched, blinking drowsily as he smiled. "Have I told you how nice you are to wake up to?" He yawned again then, seeing the used nub of a cigarette still held in his fingers, shrugged and set it down on the desk. He held his arms out to her. "Come here, you."

"Glitch… My precious, how are you doing?" She crossed the few steps to him and hugged him tightly, resting her forehead on his shoulder.

He smiled happily and inhaled, enjoying the smell of her hair and the feel of her in his arms. "I'm great. Of course, I'm always great when I'm with you, but… Hey, what's wrong?"

"I always feel like I'm messing something up."

Glitch wrapped his arms around her and held her tighter, rocking her gently as he kissed her on the top of the head. "That's nonsense and you know it."

"I don't think so."

"Well, what are you messing up? Maybe we can fix it?"

"I hurt Ambrose's feelings somehow. I got mad at him for taking apart something. It was stupid… I just… And now he's angry at me."

"No, doll. He's not angry."

"Sad?"

"Well, maybe he is a little sad…"

"I don't suppose you could tell me why, could you?"

"Not without making him angry at ME. I love you, Deeg. I'd walk through fire for you. But I'd rather not make him angry if I can avoid it. I mean, I do have to live with him, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Just… promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Be careful? Don't… don't let anything happen to him. Something bad is going to happen and I couldn't bear to lose either one of you. You especially, but Ambrose is important, too, and I get the feeling… I just get this feeling that I'm going to lose him somehow. I didn't tell him this, but I had a vision this morning…"

"A vision? Really? You can do that? Like you did with the flashy memory thing?"

"Yeah, only I think I saw the future… and I told him about part of it, but the part that I didn't tell him is that you were talking about him as if he wasn't around anymore, and I'm… I'm really worried, Glitch."

"Don't be worried, doll." Glitch squeezed her tighter. "It'll be alright, I promise. Ambrose is already scheming something, so you know you don't have to worry."

"You can't even give me a hint? Not even a small hint of why he's upset?"

Glitch stepped back and looked at her, biting his lip. He reached up and tugged at his zipper, to make sure it was still closed. "Well…"

"Please?"

"It might have something to do with what Cain said to him."

"Cain said something to him? When?"

"Shortly before Ambrose dyed him pink for the day."

"Ah, the infamous drinking contest that both of them claim to have won. Let me guess, what he said wasn't very nice."

"Well, no… but for all that it wasn't nice, Ambrose hasn't been able to prove that it's not true, either."

"And that was?"

"Can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"You asked for a hint, I gave you a hint."

"I need more of a hint."

"You can't have more of a hint."

"Please, Glitch?"

"Nope. Sorry."

"But you said you'd do anything for me."

Glitch chewed on his lower lip for a second, looking at DG thoughtfully. "You love me, right Deeg?"

"Of course I love you, you goofball."

"I'm glad." He smiled. "But that's the last hint you're getting." He kissed her on the nose. "So, was there anything good in the future that you saw?"

"I saw you playing with our children." DG smiled. "We had two daughters and a son. They loved you so much, but that's hardly surprising, is it? I can't imagine anyone not loving you."

"What about Ambrose? Can you imagine anyone not loving him?" Glitch's voice was light, but his chocolate colored eyes held a seriousness that DG rarely saw in him.

DG laughed, unsure how else to respond. "Yeah, actually, I can think of a lot of people that don't even like him. Cain included."

"Hmm…"

"Hmm… what?"

"Nothing. Just 'hmm'ing is all."

"Are you trying to tell me that he's upset because he thinks I don't like him?"

"Well, I wouldn't say THAT precisely, but you might be on the right track." Glitch's eyes flashed copper and his face hardened. "And you are more than welcome to stop prying any time you wish, your Highness."

"Ambrose, that 'can't fix what I don't know is broken' stuff works the other way around, too, you know?"

Glitch shook his head. "Sorry, Deeg. He's gone again. But at least he's occupied."

"How so?"

"He's muttering about clockwork dolls and electromagnetic… something about the wireless transfer of energy. It's complicated." Glitch wrinkled his nose in distaste. "But at least it keeps him happy, right?"

"So… is it safe to talk about him some more?"

Glitch rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling, listening intently to the voice in his head. "It's hard to say… he seems pretty occupied… Yeah, I think you're safe."

"Good. So what's this nonsense about him thinking I don't like him?"

"Well… He… he… h-h-he… uh… Hey, look! A squirrel!"

"Glitch!"

"What Glitch is trying not to tell you is that your Mr. Cain pointed out in a recent conversation that he feels you would not bother to associate with me if it weren't for your close attachment to my estimable alter ego and that he feels that were it not for said alter ego, I would in all likelihood die alone and friendless because I personally am not worth the time and effort that it would take to tolerate me long enough to befriend me. Or at least it was something to that effect. I haven't taken any particular pains to recall the exact wording. Are you not happy that your tiny little computer is working again? You haven't even tested it to make certain it still works properly."

"You're a good friend, Ambrose."

"But Mr. Cain isn't entirely wrong, is he?"

"I wouldn't say that he's anywhere close to being right, either."

"All told, you have spent approximately two hundred and thirty seven hours and some handful of minutes in my company."

"That's a lot of hours."

"And in that time, you have never once…" Ambrose bit his sentence off, looking keenly frustrated for a moment. "Would you say that you and I are friends? Glitch not withstanding… if there was no Glitch… would you and I be friends?"

"I don't know, Ambrose…" DG wanted to comfort him, but she wasn't entirely sure how he would react. She didn't like seeing that carefully unhurt expression on his face while he nodded stiffly, as if she had said what he expected to hear. "If there was no Glitch… I don't think I would have gotten an opportunity to meet you. If there was no witch, I think we might have become very good friends, but if there was no witch, then Daniel would still be here and you and he were very nearly inseparable from what I've heard. But there was a witch, and there is Glitch, and I think that I wouldn't give either of you up if I had any choice in the matter. I love Glitch with all my heart, but I love you too."

Ambrose fidgeted briefly with a loose string on the button of his coat, tearing it off and putting it in his pocket, before looking up at her with bright, troubled eyes. "That's the first time you've said that…"

"It can't have been. I'm sure I must have told you that before."

"No. First time."

"You're sure?"

"I have an eidetic memory. First time."

DG took Ambrose's hand and squeezed it tightly. "You are the most brilliant and amazing man I know and every day with you is a joy and a surprise. Even if the surprise is that you've 'disassembled' my iPod. You've never let me down, ever. I may not say it, because maybe you are a little egotistical and always so confidant and certain of yourself that it doesn't occur to me that you might care about things like that, but I do love you."

Ambrose smiled tentatively and returned the hand squeeze. "Really?"

DG grinned. "Really really."

Copper eyes met azure blue. "Well, that's alright then."

"So you're going to figure out something to keep you from getting killed, right?"

"Already working on it. If I can't think of a way to stop it, I'll figure someway of sneaking around it. You have my promise."

"What do you mean, 'if you can't stop it'?"

"Without more details, I'm afraid I'm kind of swinging in the dark, here. Unless your vision showed you a date and a time and all the myriad of events that led up to it? No? Well, then. If you have any more visions, let me know, and in the meantime, I'll be extra careful. Will that suffice?"

"Only if you don't get your silly ass killed, Ambrose."

"I'll endeavor to avoid it." He tugged on her hand and pulled her close for a brief hug and a kiss on the forehead and when DG stepped back, it was Glitch that was smiling at her. "See? I told you he wasn't angry. You didn't believe me."

DG smiled. "You're a smart guy, Glitch. I should believe you when you tell me things, shouldn't I?"

"Yes. Yes, you should." He held her hands and kissed the knuckles on each one, smiling brightly for her.

"Have I told you how much I adore your hands, Glitch?"

"My hands?" His nose wrinkled in confusion. "No, why?"

She took one of his hands and placed a delicate kiss to the inside of his palm then pressed it to her cheek, closing her eyes and smiling happily. "You have very nice hands."

Glitch giggled. "What an odd thing to say!"

"It's just a thought I had today. But do you know what I like most about your hands?" Her blue eyes were lit with a predatory gleam and Glitch's smile slowly turned to a wide grin as he recognized the look she was giving him.

"I don't suppose you could show me?" His voice was low and sultry and he pressed a hot kiss against her cheek and whispered into her ear. "I might have forgotten again…"

DG grinned mischievously and checked to make certain the door was locked.


End file.
